What Does Showing Up for Someone During a Difficult Time Really Look Like?

What Does Showing Up for Someone During a Difficult Time Really Look Like?

By Sherie Hellams Gamble

Showing up for someone during a difficult time is not always about having the right words. Sometimes, it is about being present when there are no words at all.

As women, we are often expected to be the strong ones. We are the caregivers, the problem-solvers, the ones who hold families together while quietly navigating our own struggles. We learn how to keep moving forward, even when life gives us every reason to pause.

But one of the most important lessons I have learned is that showing up for someone does not require us to have all the answers. It requires us to have compassion, patience, and a willingness to stand beside someone when life becomes difficult.

Understanding What It Means to Be There

I grew up in South Carolina in a single-mother household with my mother's daughters. My mother, Patricia "Nurse Pat" Edwards, was an ICU nurse who worked the third shift while raising her daughters. She understood responsibility, sacrifice, and the importance of caring for others, even when life was not easy.

Watching my mother taught me that showing up is often found in the things people do quietly. It is in the sacrifices that go unnoticed, the responsibilities carried without recognition, and the love that continues even when circumstances are challenging.

Years later, when I lost my mother to COVID-19 on August 19, 2020, I experienced a different kind of difficult time. Grief has a way of changing your perspective. It reminds you that life can change in an instant and that the people we love may not always be here.

During those moments, support is not always about someone trying to make the pain disappear. Sometimes, it is simply knowing that someone is willing to sit with you in the middle of it.

It is a phone call that comes when you least expect it. A thoughtful message that reminds you that you are not forgotten. Someone checking in after the funeral, after the initial condolences, after the world has seemingly moved on.

Because difficult times do not always end when everyone else believes they should.

Showing Up Is More Than Saying, "Let Me Know If You Need Anything"

We have all heard the familiar words: "Let me know if you need anything."

While those words are well-intentioned, sometimes the person struggling does not know what they need. They may be overwhelmed, exhausted, grieving, or simply trying to make it through another day.

Showing up means being intentional.

It may look like bringing someone a meal without waiting for them to ask. It may mean helping with a responsibility that has become overwhelming. It may mean listening without interrupting, offering encouragement without judgment, or giving someone the space to process their emotions.

And sometimes, showing up means recognizing that your presence is enough.

We do not have to fix every situation. We do not have to understand every emotion. We simply have to be willing to care.

The Strength of Showing Up When Life Is Not Easy

My own experiences have taught me that strength is not always loud or visible. Sometimes, strength is simply getting up in the morning and continuing to move forward.

As a mother, a professional, and a woman who has experienced loss, I understand that life does not pause when we are hurting. Responsibilities remain. Families still need us. Work continues. The world keeps moving.

That is why I believe we must be intentional about creating spaces where women can be honest about what they are experiencing.

We should not have to pretend to be okay to receive love and support.

We should not have to earn compassion by being strong.

And we should never make someone feel that their pain is an inconvenience.

Showing up for others also means understanding when someone needs a different kind of support. Sometimes, it means encouraging them to seek professional guidance. Other times, it means reminding them that they are allowed to rest, to grieve, to ask for help, and to take their time healing.

Turning Compassion Into Purpose

The loss of my mother inspired me to establish the Patricia "Nurse Pat" Edwards Nursing Scholarship, an initiative built around the mission of creating a new generation of nurses.

For me, this work is deeply personal. My mother dedicated her life to caring for others, and I wanted to create something that would continue reflecting the values she lived by.

Through this scholarship, I hope to support aspiring nurses as they pursue their education and their calling to care for others.

It is one way I have chosen to show up—not only for my mother's memory but also for students, families, and future generations who deserve opportunities to succeed.

I have learned that sometimes the most meaningful way to honor someone is to take the love they gave you and extend it to someone else.

Our experiences can become a source of purpose. Our pain can deepen our compassion. And the things we learn while navigating difficult seasons can help us become more intentional about how we care for others.