What’s Your More?

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, "There has to be something more than this"?

Before you quit your job, update your résumé, or decide you're moving to a beach somewhere, give me five minutes.

I'm not necessarily talking about more money, a bigger title, or another promotion.

I'm talking about your more.

Maybe you want to run an entire organization someday. Maybe you want to leave the office at 5 p.m. without feeling guilty. Maybe you want the financial freedom to book a vacation without checking your bank account three times. Or maybe you just want to make it through a Tuesday without somebody scheduling another meeting that could've been an email.

I respect all four. But here's my question.

How many of us are chasing a version of success we never actually stopped to define?

Congratulations! You're an Adult. Good Luck.

In 2024, I had the privilege of delivering a commencement speech to graduates of Universal Technical Institute.

Imagine a room full of graduates, proud parents, faculty members, and people preparing to enter the workforce.

And there I was, standing at the podium, asking everyone:

"What's your more?"

Not your parents' more. Not your instructors' more. Not the version of success your friends are posting on social media. Yours.

Because here's something nobody tells you when you graduate. There is no magical instruction manual for adulthood.

I've checked.

Adulting is a lot like assembling IKEA furniture without instructions. You're fairly confident you know what you're doing until you realize you've got three extra screws and something is leaning.

And your diploma?

It's not a golden ticket to having everything figured out. It's proof that you've earned the opportunity to figure out what comes next.

Plot Twist: I Was Supposed to Be a Teacher

Seriously.

I wanted to teach, enjoy my summers off, and take some fabulous vacations. Instead, I found myself working in a call center in the automotive collision industry.

Not exactly the original plan. But that call center became the beginning of a career I never imagined.

I went on to work across collision repair, business development, manufacturer operations, dealership groups, and talent acquisition.

I've helped organizations grow, developed partnerships, built teams, and had opportunities to sit in rooms I once never imagined entering.

And do you know what some of those experiences taught me?

Sometimes the opportunity you need doesn't arrive looking like the opportunity you wanted. Sometimes it arrives disguised as a challenge. Sometimes it's a position you're not entirely prepared for. And sometimes it's a leader telling you to figure something out when you'd much rather hand the problem to somebody else. Ask me how I know.

Everybody Wants the Opportunity. Let's Talk About the Work.

Now, here's where I might lose a few people.

I believe we're losing the art of working hard.

There. I said it.

We live in a world where instant gratification has become an expectation.

We want the promotion, the salary, the flexibility, the recognition, and preferably all of it by Friday.

And listen, I love ambition. But ambition without action is just a very enthusiastic wish list.

You cannot fast-forward through the process of building credibility.

You cannot download experience.

And you certainly cannot expect people to trust you simply because you've decided you're ready for the next opportunity.

You have to show up. You have to learn. You have to be accountable. And occasionally, you have to admit you don't know what you're doing and ask somebody who does.

I've spent 18 years building a reputation based on relationships, trust, commitment, and results. And I'm still working hard to maintain it. Because the work doesn't stop when you become successful. The responsibility grows.

Now, Let's Complicate Things. You Have a Life.

Imagine this.

You finally land the promotion you've been working toward. Better salary. Bigger responsibilities. New opportunities.

Congratulations!

But now you're answering emails during dinner, missing important family moments, and wondering when you're supposed to enjoy the life you're working so hard to build.

Was that your more?

Maybe it was.

Maybe the professional challenge genuinely fulfills you, and you're perfectly happy with the trade-offs. Or maybe you're beginning to realize that what you wanted five years ago isn't what you want today. That's worth thinking about.

As a mother of three, I've had to ask myself that question throughout my career. And when I stood before those graduates in 2024, I shared my answer.

My children are my more. They're a huge part of why I work hard, why I continue to grow, and why I've spent years advocating for meaningful careers that allow people to have meaningful lives outside of work.

But don't mistake that for a lack of ambition.

I still want to grow. I still want to accomplish things. And I still have goals that have absolutely nothing to do with being somebody's mother.

Because here's the thing. You can love your career and love your life. You shouldn't have to apologize for wanting both.

Your Turn. And No, You Can't Say "All of the Above."

Let's play a little game.

Imagine I take away your job title. Your salary. Your professional accomplishments. Your LinkedIn profile. Yes, even that impressive headline you've rewritten six times. Now tell me.

What does success look like to you?

Is it being financially independent? Building a business? Having the flexibility to attend your children's activities? Traveling? Finding purpose in your work? Or having enough peace in your life that you no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone?

Maybe your more is something entirely different.

And here's the best part. You're allowed to change your answer.

What success looked like at 25 may not be what it looks like at 35, 45, or 55. That's not failure. That's growth.

One Last Question

When I delivered that commencement speech, I wasn't asking those graduates to have their entire futures mapped out. I was challenging them to think beyond the diploma, the job offer, and the paycheck. To work hard. To stay teachable. To create opportunities. And most importantly, to define success on their own terms.

Two years later, I'm still asking that same question, both professionally and personally.

Because your career will evolve. Your priorities will change. And the things you once thought would make you successful might surprise you.

The goal isn't to have more of everything. It's to make room for more of what matters.

So, before you close this article and go back to your regularly scheduled chaos, I have one final question.

What's your more?

And this time, don't tell me what sounds impressive.

Tell me what actually matters.