When the World Begins to Recognize the Work: Two International Awards and a Lifetime of Purpose

In every industry today, an elephant in the room is competition, and many pretend to ignore it. As women, we are faced with this enormous truth from birth. That's right, we are constantly competing for attention, approval, and advantage. Thank heavens we are supposed to be sugar and spice! When we reach a certain age—you know the age—it's the period when we believe we've arrived. We have conquered a career, found the right partner, become mothers, and find ourselves walking on nothing but eggshells! We did the work, prepared to win, and think we've arrived, but something is off. We continue to "compete" for whatever is next on our endless list! Yes, I want you to take a minute and sit with that. Please don't misunderstand me; I am not against winning in life. Thriving and becoming successful is a beautiful thing. That, of course, is if you never enter the whirlwind of chaos and the reality of true life. Can I encourage you to agree that therein lies the entire issue?

Society has pushed women, and men alike, into roles that sometimes make us doubt our choices. Emotions run high when we are tired and find that adulthood has become a never-ending story of work and responsibility. Our homes are messy, laundry is piling up on the couch, dinner isn't made, and the weekend is spent on honey-do's. Welcome to adulthood! Now, in this season of my life, I am writing books, and I have plenty of time for my own sanity, reflection, and observation of everything I have experienced up until now. I see my own children struggling to raise their families, keep themselves strong, and attempt to hold it all together. I also see younger people and couples at my church and around my neighborhood doing the same thing. All of this is in addition to what we are seeing and hearing on the news and social media! In truth, I don't envy those in the grind of everyday life, and I have to be grateful for where I am, even though the opportunity to watch all of this is not always pleasant. I can see now where I could have done things very differently. I have something to say for anyone who might want to listen. My experience in corporate America, in raising children, in being married (twice), and now in trying to reinvent myself after sixty-five has taught me one thing: We can prepare to win. Too simple? No, we just don't do it. We prepare wrong because we don't give ourselves time for the complete process. It all starts in high school, when the voices come out to play and tell us what we should be doing. We don't give ourselves the chance to think about what we want and just do what everyone advises us to do. What do we know, right? But every human being has that little voice inside that we have to develop and get to know. Parents, lend me an ear. PLEASE don't tell your high school teenager what you expect them to do. Give them the respect to choose for themselves, please and thank you. Guidance is one thing, but most of us do not guide; we direct and push to get what we want from that child. We pretend to know what is right for them, even though sometimes we don't even know what is right for ourselves. Unfortunately, I was guilty of that, but the good part is that my children have always had their own minds, and I'm very grateful for that. If a person cannot make their own mistakes, that is, in my opinion, a handicap. The good news is that it's not too late for you—even if you are way past high school! At any given time in your life, you can prepare to win.

For me, I first had to stop listening to all the opinions. I had to decide what I really wanted for the rest of my days on this earth. Just stop and go inside to assess all of the feelings, emotions, and circumstances. Doing something or being someone outside societal norms, out of obligation, or for a paycheck is not always worth it. You must assess that worth and what it is subtracting from your life. Naturally, the fact that one has become a parent or committed to a relationship is something that has to be taken very seriously because responsibility comes with those roles. However, putting those roles in their proper order and giving yourself the space and attention to thrive are key to preparation. The preparation can be for someday, but it also has to be for today. You must do your best to develop a workable lifestyle that allows you to go through each process in your day with efficiency, joy, and peace. That includes self-care. The Japanese have a concept called Ikigai, which I love, and the wisdom that comes with it has been life-changing for me. You need to realize that nature gives you the blueprint. Take, for example, planting a seed in the ground. It takes time to bear fruit. When a child is born, the child takes time to grow—to learn to move around, crawl, walk, eat, etc. Just because you believe you've arrived doesn't mean you have; you must still stop and maintain a balance. Things change, people leave, bosses will impose demands, yes, but you can and must develop your own rhythm.

As an older woman, I may have retired from my career as a paralegal, but these days, I find encouragement in what my future holds. I've gotten a lot of heat because I am very different from most women my age. Now, I am a published author, and I am busy every day. In the last five years, I've experienced losses and pain, but I've also won modeling and acting awards, worked as a commercial model, written a screenplay, learned a little more about technology and investing, participated actively in church ministry, helped with grandchildren, maintained a healthy and happy marriage, focused on my health, and published three books! Oh yes, I am very busy because I'm getting ready to publish my fourth and fifth books! I believe we must continue to invest in ourselves, taking a minute to stop, assess, plan, and discipline ourselves for all the tomorrows we have left. Why? Because we need to, and those who love us need us to be our best! Additionally, as a lifetime learner and lector who wants nothing more than to offer a few nuggets from what I've learned, I want to suggest a good read. I've enjoyed reading 10-10-10: Revised and Updated: A Decision-Making Methodology for People Who Want to Live with Purpose, by Suzy Welch, 2027. Of course, if you are a fan of historical fiction, love, romance, and inspirational life stories, please look me up on social media and Amazon for my books. Thank you for listening.

As always, many blessings to all.