When Your Past Taps You on The Shoulder It is Time To Tame the Beast
From Survival to Purpose: How One Woman Transformed Her Deepest Wounds Into Her Greatest Calling
Trauma and abuse silence the soul of the innocent. They dim the light of a child until she flickers and fades, shrinking along the broken streets of life. What was once bright and beautiful becomes hidden beneath layers of fear, pain, and survival.
But here’s the question so many of us ask: How do we reignite that internal flame?
What if our deepest wounds are not barriers—but blueprints for our greatest purpose?
The Tap on the Shoulder
Many adult survivors spend years running from the subtle, chilling tap of the past. Who wants to be reminded of horrors we fought to forget? Trauma shifts the brain into fight-or-flight, and for many of us, running is the only way we survived.
I know this intimately.
As a survivor of child abuse and sexual abuse, I spent my early life trapped in a cycle of survival, riddled with unspeakable acts repeated over many years. Fight-or-flight became my permanent home. “Run, Lisa, run” became the anthem of my life—and I obeyed it for decades.
And for a while, running worked.
I excelled in school, graduated college, landed a great job. I even met the love of my life—my soulmate. We built a family together, raising three beautiful children under our roof. From the outside, we looked picture-perfect.
But illusions often hide the deepest truths.
My horrific past was never far—always nipping at my heels, always growling in the shadows. I tried to outrun the beast, but the cracks were forming.
The Past Never Forgets
My childhood was soaked in trauma. I lost my older brother—my protector—when I was only six. My mother, who struggled severely with mental illness, became a constant source of fear and instability. As an adult, I continued advocating for her, trying desperately to navigate the chaos she brought into my life. She was the embodiment of that beast—always lurking, always reminding me.
And then life delivered a blow that shattered everything.
I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child. In what should have been a moment of joy, we were drowning financially, overwhelmed, and exhausted. My husband struggled to accept the news. I cried broken tears but also felt a glimmer of hope—until an ultrasound showed no heartbeat.
My little miracle was gone.
The silence on the other end of the phone when I told my husband was deafening. I felt grief, anger, heartbreak—and the crushing weight of the past crashing into the present. I had to go home, be around my children, pretend life was normal, while inside I was shattering.
That night was the longest of my life. My trauma unleashed itself like a tidal wave—flashbacks, memories, nightmares. I hit rock bottom.
The Past Demands to Be Faced
The miscarriage triggered every wound I had buried: the abuse, neglect, abandonment, and a haunting memory I had carried alone. At fourteen, I became pregnant by my abuser and had an abortion. I begged for forgiveness for something that was never my fault, while my parents—who should have protected me—failed me again.
Fast-forward to adulthood, I was still seeking forgiveness for things done to me. That is the warped mindset of a survivor—carrying shame that never belonged to us.
When that spiny finger tapped my shoulder again, I knew:
It was time to stop running.
Facing the Beast
I walked into therapy trembling, sweating, dizzy with fear. My therapist gently encouraged me to speak, and when I finally opened my mouth, decades of silence erupted like a hurricane. Words spilled out, breaking through the walls I built around myself.
In my mind, I saw myself standing atop the rubble of my past, planting a bright red victory flag.
“You did not beat me,” I declared.
“I will tame the beast. Let freedom ring.”
And for the first time, I felt free.
The Long Road Home
Healing was not instant—it took years of tears, courage, heartbreak, and honesty. But the more work I did, the lighter I became. I began stepping into my womanhood with new clarity, new purpose, new strength.
My past robbed me of innocence, safety, and peace.
But it also forged courage, resilience, hope, and unshakable faith.
The blueprint of my tragic upbringing became the foundation of my life’s mission.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
I transformed my story into The Unspoken Truth, a memoir revealing the journey of a young girl on the brink of death who survived the unimaginable.
Today, I am an author, a child and mental health advocate, and a public speaker. I raise my voice for those who cannot raise theirs. The universe continues opening doors for me—opportunities to teach, inspire, and protect.
As a CASA Advocate, I now step into courtrooms as the voice I once needed. That honor is the cherry on top of a life reclaimed.
My past did not define me.
It shaped me.
It sharpened me.
It molded me into a woman who changes narratives.
I would not erase a single scar, because without them, I would not be doing the extraordinary work I do today.
This—this right here—is my greatest purpose.
My forever motto: Embrace the Journey.
God Bless,
Lisa Zarcone
Author, Advocate, Survivor
Learn more about my work: www.lisazarcone.net
