Cidalia Cammarata

From the outside, you look like you have it all together.

You are still showing up. Still delivering. Still the one everyone counts on. And on the inside, quietly, you are running on empty.

If that landed a little too close, keep reading. This one is for you.

For a long stretch of my life, I looked completely put together. I was hitting my goals, taking care of everyone around me, getting it all done. Nobody would have guessed anything was wrong.

But inside, my jaw was constantly clenched. My eye was twitching. I wasn't sleeping well. I had headaches that wouldn't quit. And I was dreading each week before it even began.

I kept telling myself I was fine. Because I was still functioning. Still checking every box. And as long as I was doing that, I figured I had no real reason to complain.

I was not fine. Things were unraveling underneath.

There is a name for this now, and it is showing up everywhere: quiet cracking.

It is not the dramatic burnout we picture. Not the collapse, the falling apart, the cannot-get-out-of-bed version. It is the slow, silent one. You keep performing beautifully on the outside while something frays underneath, so quietly that no one can see it. Sometimes not even you.

Here is what I've learned, from my own life and from the high-achieving women I now coach. There are three truths about quiet cracking that change everything once you see them.

One. Still Functioning Is Not the Same as Fine.

We have been taught that we are only allowed to stop when we have proof. A breakdown. A health scare. Something undeniable. So we wait for the collapse to give us permission.

But you do not have to be falling apart for it to count. The quiet unraveling you feel right now is reason enough to pay attention. Still functioning was never the same as being well.

Two. The More Capable You Are, the More Quietly You Crack.

This is the cruel part. The women who crack the most silently are the strongest, most capable ones.

Because you are so good at holding it all together, no one sees you struggling. So no one offers to help. And on the rare occasion someone does, you're not quite sure how to let them. So you just keep carrying more.

Your competence becomes a mask. And the people who love you most have no idea how close to the edge you really are.

Three. You Are Allowed to Stop Before You Shatter.

You do not need a breakdown to earn a break.

The crack is the signal. You can answer it early, while it is still a hairline, long before it becomes a break. That is not weakness. That is wisdom.

The day I finally stopped waiting to completely fall apart and let myself catch it early, everything began to change. I stopped trying to do it all myself. I learned to say no when it served me. I came back to myself.

It is also the work I do now, helping other women catch their own quiet cracking before it breaks them.

If you are quietly cracking, I want you to hear this. You have been holding on long enough. You do not have to shatter to prove you were carrying too much.

The quiet crack you feel is enough. It always was. 💛

Self-Care Sunday: It’s Time to Put Yourself Back on Your Own List

It’s Sunday evening, and I’m sitting on my back patio, enjoying the sounds of the birds and the cool breeze. I take notice of how relaxed I feel on a Sunday and remember that it didn’t always used to be this way.

There was a time when I would dread Sunday evenings because I knew Monday was fast approaching.

I was so caught up in the everyday stressors of managing four people, two of whom lived in another state. I also had a teenage son living at home who was preparing to fly the coop. On top of that, I had a husband, two dogs, dishes, laundry, goals, friends, and my own self-care to juggle.

It was A LOT!

I was losing sleep because I couldn’t shut my brain off. I even developed an eye twitch and relentless jaw clenching because of my out-of-control stress.

Eventually, I reached a point where I realized this wasn’t sustainable.

Something needed to change.

Learning to Prioritize Myself

That’s when I implemented Self-Care Sunday.

I had to learn to prioritize my own well-being because I wasn’t showing up as my best self.

Certainly, as a woman and mother, I had become accustomed to taking care of others before focusing on myself. The old airplane analogy came to mind:

Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

What good am I to others if I can’t properly take care of myself?

It started out small. I committed to doing one thing on Sunday that was just for me.

I noticed how important that time was becoming, and I began to look forward to it. It gave me the time I needed to quiet the noise, reset, and get back to enjoying my life.

Then one thing turned into two.

Two turned into three.

And so on.

Now, I try to keep my whole Sunday free to do whatever I want to do.

And if I do have responsibilities that need to get done, I work them into my Self-Care Sunday rather than trying to squeeze my self-care into an already busy Sunday.

That small shift has made a big difference.

Self-Care Doesn't Have to Be Complicated

I’m not saying self-care has to be a grand or expensive experience.

Honestly, the simpler, the better.

My go-to favorites include:

• Reading
• Napping
• Sitting on my patio
• Gardening
• Lying in my portable hammock in the yard
• Taking a bath
• Meditating

Sometimes self-care is simply giving yourself permission to slow down.

We often convince ourselves that every minute of the day needs to be productive. But sometimes the most productive thing we can do is rest.

Start With One Day

I would encourage you to commit to doing one act of self-care on one specific day each week.

Choosing a specific day can help you establish a regular routine.

I chose Sunday because that works for my schedule, but your schedule may require a different day.

Maybe yours is Saturday.

Maybe it’s Wednesday.

It doesn’t matter which day you choose.

What matters is that you choose one and stick with it.

Consistency is key!

Once you become comfortable protecting that time, you can experiment with adding more things to your day that bring you peace, joy, or restoration.

And you may be surprised by the difference it makes in your overall well-being.

You may find yourself with more energy.

More patience.

More clarity.

More presence.

And maybe, like me, you’ll start looking forward to that day instead of dreading what comes next.

Put Yourself Back on Your Own List

For so long, I had everyone and everything on my list except myself.

Work.

Family.

Household responsibilities.

Friends.

Goals.

And somewhere at the very bottom was me.

But I’ve learned that taking care of myself isn’t selfish.

It’s necessary.

You cannot continually pour from an empty cup.

You don’t have to wait until you’re exhausted to start taking care of yourself. You don’t have to wait until your body starts sending you warning signs. And you don’t have to earn the right to rest.

Start small.

Choose one thing.

Choose one day.

Protect that time.

Give yourself permission to enjoy it.

Because taking care of yourself isn’t about escaping your responsibilities.

It’s about making sure you have enough of yourself left to enjoy the life you’re working so hard to maintain.

So, this Sunday, I’ll be right here on my patio, listening to the birds, feeling the breeze, and appreciating how far I’ve come.

And I hope you find your own version of that peace.

It’s time to start putting yourself back on your own list. ❤️