Jenny Nesbit

Writing a memoir is a journey of self-discovery and growth. Although you already know your own story, it takes on a life of its own once you start putting it to page. At this point, you begin to look at yourself and people in your life as characters of this story. You take on a new perspective as an observer of your own life.

This is a complex viewpoint. While as the writer you must look at yourself and others as characters, you also hold the very personal perspective of living these experiences and relationships. To detach from your personal emotions tied to the events and relationships you write about would deprive your writing of the juice that makes it both relatable and impactful. So that means you must experience and feel your story all over again.

Sometimes this experience brings joy, as you recount a pivotal and enlightening moment. And other times, you will be thrown back into the hardest times of your life. And many times you will gain a new found appreciation and pride in the challenges you have faced and overcome. 

Writing a memoir is more than a creative project. It is a ceremony honoring your life. It is a rite of passage into where you are going next. And, it is an emotional rollercoaster capable of taking you on a ride of extreme highs and lows.

As a memoir ghostwriter and writing coach, I tell my clients up front about the emotional journey they are about to embark on. And, weeks later, when they are in tears, I hear them say, “You told me this would happen.”

To have these strong reactions tied to your writing is natural and normal. I also believe it is a huge gift and opportunity to heal and evolve. It is important to allow yourself the space to process whatever comes up for you during the writing process, and to also give yourself permission to do so and take a break when needed. 

If you choose to work with a ghostwriter or coach, make sure you align with them on a personal level more than just what is on their resume. You want to be more than another client to them. You want to be seen as a human who is doing a very vulnerable and courageous thing. Because you are. Work with someone who can see your vision and truly step into your shoes…ghostwriting has no place for inflated egos. 

When I work with my clients, I am there for them for every stage of the process. This means being a support system, or sometimes just a great listener, for their emotional journey behind what shows up on the pages of their book. Ghostwriter or coach, and client is an intimate relationship you share for an extended period of time; it’s essential to find the best fit for you. 

Writing your story is a beautiful way to see yourself from the outside. Oftentimes, we are too close to see the full picture. You may find out that you are a hero, after all.