Explore how limiting beliefs and restrictive thinking patterns unconsciously shape leadership decisions, culture, and organizational performance. Learn practical frameworks for identifying and reframing these internal constraints to unlock authentic, empowered leadership.
Her Story
About Michele
Dr. Michele's career has been defined by curiosity, resilience, and a commitment to understanding human behavior. She began her professional journey in the technology world, working in computer software marketing before expanding her experience into roles with the J. Paul Getty Trust and B2B sales with Spectrum (formerly Time Warner). While balancing work, raising her daughter, and pursuing her own education, Michele continued to follow her passion for understanding the human experience. After completing advanced studies in psychology and earning her doctorate in clinical psychology, she discovered coaching and realized it was the perfect intersection of her interests—helping people understand themselves, change behaviors, and create meaningful growth.
For the past 17 years, Michele has built her career as an executive coach, supporting leaders, founders, and organizations through leadership development, emotional intelligence, communication, and behavioral transformation. Through Vetta Leadership, she works with executives and teams to identify the underlying human factors impacting performance, collaboration, and workplace culture. Her clinical psychology background allows her to bring a deeper understanding of behavior, motivation, and mindset into her coaching practice, helping leaders navigate challenges such as team alignment, change, psychological safety, and the evolving human side of leadership and technology adoption.
Michele attributes her success to resilience, adaptability, and the willingness to reinvent herself throughout her career. She believes that growth comes from continuing to learn, trusting your instincts, and taking the next step even when the path changes. Passionate about empowering others, especially women leaders, Michele encourages people to use their voice, recognize their value, and step confidently into opportunities. Outside of her professional work, she values family, lifelong learning, and giving back through community involvement, including her support of organizations such as Guide Dogs of America. Her journey reflects a lifelong commitment to helping others create change from the inside out.
Her Interview
Ten minutes with Michele
01What do you attribute your success to?
I attribute my success to never giving up. Never, never giving up. And reinventing and pivoting. You know, and just kind of going with the flow. A lot of times, it's just sort of, you know, what's the next step? What's the next thing? And I think I am pretty resilient. I moved across country by myself from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, moved across country by myself in my 20s, my early 20s, right after graduation. And I would say, you know, when we talk about great achievements, I look back at that, and every time I look at that now, I realize, like, when I come across something that's difficult for me, I look back at that and I go, I can do this. I did it. You know, I did something really hard, and I did it. I'm capable. I'm resilient. I can do this. You know, and that's helped me a lot.
02What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received?
The best career advice I've ever received would be to follow my gut and all of my heart, you know, do what I love. That's really the best. And I use that all the time with my clients, too, now. You know, you gotta do what you love. I tell all clients all the time, my journey reminds me of a quote from Steve Jobs, and that is, you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. You have to trust that the dots will connect in your future, right? You have to trust in something, whether it's your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. And I always think about that, because all of the things that I've done connect to where I am. And I never, never would have thought that looking forward. You just have to keep moving forward. That's the other thing that someone told me, too, and that as a coach, I've learned that, too, and that, you just have to keep taking a step.
03What advice would you give to young women entering your industry?
Use your voice. Use your voice. You know, sometimes I have to work with them to find their voice, because we've been so muted over the years. You know, whether that's our families and the culture and business, whatever it is, we've been muted. And we need to use our voice. And I wrote a book on that, it's just using our voice, both individually and collectively, to make changes in the world. And so, my advice is just use your voice. You have as much right to be here as anybody else, and do what you want to do.
04What are the biggest challenges or opportunities in your field right now?
There's always some interesting opportunities, and they range from working with a different set of people, right? Different kinds of people, different sort of organizations, and things like that. So there's always different opportunities, which are also challenges at the same time. You know, because the field of coaching has changed so much in all these years. And there are so many coaches, right? And so, it can be a crowded field, and that can be a challenge sometimes.
05What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
The most important things to me - I have a small family, but I do have a family, and that is very, very important to me. I have a daughter who lives up in Portland, and she's the most important. I've got brothers and sisters now across the globe, actually, and that's important to me. It really, really is, as I get older. And then professionally, I keep growing, and I keep learning new things. It is so important, you know, I don't want to get stagnant, you know, and just do the same thing over and over. So, those are important to me. And I love learning. I do. I love reading, I love learning, so for me, those would be the most important things. And then Pickleball.
Her Content Hub
Articles by Michele
Breaking the Ceiling Within
Uncover the invisible barriers within yourself and transform limiting beliefs into leadership strength.
Breaking Free from Restrictive Thinking: How Limiting Beliefs Shape Leadership
Every leader has a story about the moment they realized they were standing in their own way. It might be a conversation they avoided, a decision they delayed, or an opportunity they quietly let slip by. In every case, the barrier was not external—it was internal. These invisible constraints are called limiting beliefs or restrictive thinking patterns, and they shape how leaders think, decide, and show up long before strategy or skill ever comes into play.
What Are Restrictive Thinking Patterns?
Restrictive thinking patterns, or limiting beliefs, are deeply held assumptions that quietly dictate what we believe is possible for ourselves and others. They often begin in childhood, shaped by family systems, culture, or early experiences of success and failure. Over time, these beliefs harden into internal "truths" that feel like facts.
A few familiar examples sound like this:
- "If I don't have all the answers, people will lose confidence in me."
- "Conflict means I'm not a good leader."
- "I can't delegate because no one will do it as well as I can."
- "I'm not ready for that next level."
These beliefs may seem rational—even protective—but they quietly limit a leader's potential.
The Psychology Behind the Pattern
From a psychological perspective, restrictive beliefs are the mind's way of maintaining safety. The brain is designed to avoid threats, and growth often feels risky. When leaders internalize the idea that their worth depends on performance, or that vulnerability equates to weakness, the mind instinctively protects those beliefs, even when they no longer serve them.
This process is reinforced by confirmation bias. Leaders seek evidence that validates their existing worldview while overlooking evidence that contradicts it. It's human nature. A CEO who believes, "People always let me down," will unconsciously notice every mistake while overlooking loyalty, commitment, and effort. Over time, the belief becomes self-fulfilling.
The Cost of Restrictive Beliefs in Leadership
Restrictive beliefs have a ripple effect that extends far beyond the individual. They shape culture, communication, and strategy.
Decision-Making Paralysis
Leaders who fear being wrong often delay decisions or overanalyze data, creating a culture of hesitation. This slows innovation and drains momentum.
Control and Micromanagement
A belief such as, "No one can do it as well as I can," often leads to micromanagement. Employees disengage, creativity diminishes, and the leader becomes the bottleneck to progress.
Emotional Disconnection
Leaders who equate emotional expression with weakness often appear detached. Teams sense this and begin withholding their own thoughts and concerns, eroding trust and psychological safety.
Imposter Syndrome
Even highly accomplished leaders can feel like frauds. When their internal narrative says, "I just got lucky," success never feels earned, and they hesitate to fully step into positions of visibility or authority.
The cost of these beliefs is not merely personal. It affects revenue, employee retention, innovation, and the overall health of the organization.
Recognizing the Beliefs That Hold You Back
Awareness is the first step toward transformation. Because restrictive beliefs often operate below conscious awareness, identifying them requires deliberate reflection.
A simple framework I use with clients involves three guiding questions:
- What recurring leadership challenge do you face? (For example, difficulty delegating, fear of confrontation, or burnout.)
- What story do you tell yourself about that challenge? ("If I ask for help, it means I'm weak.")
- How is that story protecting you, and how is it costing you?
This last question is the key.
Every belief has a payoff, even when that payoff is negative. Believing, "I must do everything myself," may create a sense of control and predictability, but it also limits scale, trust, and collaboration. Recognizing both sides allows leaders to choose consciously rather than react automatically.
From Restrictive to Liberating: Rewriting the Narrative
Once awareness is established, leaders can begin reframing restrictive beliefs into liberating truths. This process is less about positive affirmations and more about rewiring deeply held patterns of thinking. It requires curiosity, repetition, and intentional action.
Challenge the Evidence
Ask yourself:
"Is this always true?"
or
"What evidence contradicts this belief?"
Actively gathering counterexamples begins weakening the brain's attachment to the old narrative.
Name the Origin
Understanding where a belief originated—whether from a parent, an early supervisor, or cultural expectations—helps separate your identity from your inheritance. You can respect where the belief came from without continuing to carry it.
Rewrite the Story
Transform the belief into a more empowering version that still feels authentic.
Old: "If I don't know everything, I'll lose credibility."
New: "My credibility grows when I remain curious and invite other perspectives."
Act "As If"
Behavioral science suggests that action often precedes belief as much as belief precedes action. Acting as though the new belief is already true creates experiences that reinforce it. Each new success tells the brain, See? This is safe.
This is not the same as "fake it until you make it." It is intentional behavioral change that gradually reshapes your internal narrative.
Seek Feedback and Reflection
Trusted peers, mentors, and executive coaches can reveal blind spots and help you recognize when you're slipping back into familiar patterns. Meaningful change rarely happens in isolation.
The Leader as Mirror
What leaders believe about themselves eventually becomes reflected in how they lead others.
A leader who doubts their own worth often struggles to recognize the worth of others.
A leader who believes people cannot be trusted tends to create systems of control rather than cultures of empowerment.
Conversely, leaders who have done the work of examining and rewriting their limiting beliefs model authenticity and courage. Their presence creates psychological safety, which research by Amy Edmondson and others has shown to be a cornerstone of innovation and employee engagement.
When leaders say,
"I don't have all the answers, but I'm willing to learn."
they normalize vulnerability as a leadership strength. That openness gives others permission to contribute ideas, admit mistakes, and offer solutions without fear.
Common Limiting Beliefs in Leadership
While every leader's story is unique, certain patterns emerge repeatedly in executive coaching.
"If I slow down, everything will fall apart."
This belief keeps leaders in perpetual overdrive, often leading to burnout. In reality, clarity and recovery lead to better decisions.
"I have to be perfect."
Perfectionism masquerades as excellence but is rooted in fear of judgment. It creates anxiety while establishing unrealistic expectations for everyone else.
"I am responsible for everyone's success."
This belief confuses leadership with rescue. It undermines accountability and prevents people from learning through their own experiences.
"It's lonely at the top."
Leadership certainly carries unique responsibilities, but isolation is often self-imposed. Peer advisory groups, mentors, and coaching communities help leaders remember they don't have to lead alone.
"I can't change."
Perhaps the most damaging belief of all.
Neuroscience tells us otherwise.
The brain remains capable of rewiring itself through neuroplasticity throughout life. Growth is always possible.
Reframing as a Leadership Competency
Reframing restrictive beliefs is not simply personal development—it is a leadership competency that builds resilience and adaptability throughout an organization.
Instead of saying,
"We failed."
leaders might ask,
"What did we learn?"
Instead of saying,
"We can't compete."
they might ask,
"Where can we differentiate?"
This subtle shift transforms setbacks into strategy.
When leaders consistently model this mindset, it spreads throughout the organization. Teams become more solution-oriented, less defensive, and more willing to innovate.
The Role of Coaching
Executive coaching provides the structure and accountability leaders need to uncover and reframe restrictive beliefs. It creates a confidential environment where assumptions can be challenged, new perspectives explored, and emotional agility strengthened.
Coaching bridges the gap between insight ("I recognize the belief.") and embodiment ("I consistently practice a new behavior.").
Over time, the leader's internal narrative shifts from self-limiting to self-leading.
One of the most powerful coaching questions is also one of the simplest:
"What else might be true?"
That single question can unlock an entirely new way of thinking.
The Ripple Effect of Liberated Leadership
When leaders free themselves from restrictive beliefs, the impact extends far beyond their own mindset.
They become less reactive and more reflective.
They listen more deeply because they are no longer defending their identity.
They empower others because they are no longer competing for control.
They create cultures where people feel safe to take risks, contribute ideas, and grow.
The result is not only stronger organizational performance but also greater fulfillment. Leadership becomes less about proving yourself and more about living your purpose.
Reflection Exercise
Take a few minutes to reflect:
- Identify one area of leadership that consistently challenges you.
- Write down the belief that may be driving that challenge.
- Ask yourself, "Who would I be without this belief?"
- Rewrite the belief into a liberating truth that reflects the leader you want to become.
- Take one action this week that embodies your new belief.
Small, consistent steps create new neural pathways.
Every moment of awareness is a quiet revolution against limitation.
Final Thoughts
Restrictive beliefs are not signs of weakness. They are signs of humanity.
Every leader—and every person—carries them.
The difference between those who remain stuck and those who continue to grow lies in awareness and courage.
When leaders challenge their own assumptions, they model what growth truly looks like. They create cultures of curiosity instead of fear, empowerment instead of control, and possibility instead of limitation.
For many leaders, the ceiling holding them back isn't made of glass.
It's made of beliefs.
Challenge those beliefs, and the view expands infinitely.
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