Dr. Shawndra Maine

I. A Question That Stayed with Me

This week while teaching General Psychology to first-year college students, one student approached me after class with several questions about positive and negative behaviors. One question, in particular, sparked a lengthy, thought-provoking conversation: Can people change negative behaviors into positive ones?

While continuing the discussion whether behavior can change and what factors may influence human decision-making, I posed a question to the student:

"If a man steals to feed his hungry child, does that make him a bad person, or is he simply doing what he believes is necessary to provide for his child?"

The student paused before answering. Afterwards I found myself reflecting on the question long after our conversation ended.

After class, I realized the question wasn't really about stealing. It was about survival, human behavior, and the circumstances that shape our choices. That realization inspired me to write Conditioned by Circumstance: The Psychology of Survival, an exploration of how life circumstances can influence behavior and shape decisions in difficult situations.

As a psychology instructor, I often encourage students to look beyond behavior itself and consider the factors that may have contributed to it. Understanding behavior requires examining not only the individual, but also the environment, experiences, and pressures that surround them. I believe many people can relate to the psychology of survival. In today's society, the cost of living keeps rising. For some, survival has become a daily reality rather than a temporary hardship. (Bierman et al., 2024).

II. Understanding Behavior Through a Psychological Lens

Behavior refers to how a person responds to internal and external stimuli. It encompasses our actions, reactions, thoughts, and habits as we interact with the world. From a psychological perspective, behavior does not occur in isolation. Instead, it is learned, reinforced, influenced, and shaped over time by many factors.

Our environment, life experiences, stress levels, relationships, cultural expectations, and social influences affect our behavior. Our biological needs, emotions, beliefs, and past experiences can also shape them. As individuals encounter different situations throughout life, they learn behavioral patterns that help them adapt, achieve goals, avoid discomfort, or meet their needs.

Understanding behavior requires looking beyond the action itself and considering the many factors that may have contributed to it. In psychology, the focus is often not just on what people do, but why they do it. By examining the influences behind behavior, we gain a deeper understanding of human actions and the circumstances that shape them. This perspective matters especially when considering the psychology of survival, where behavior is often driven by the fundamental need to secure necessities.

Behaviorism and Human Action

B.F. Skinner believed that behavior is influenced by its consequences. He also believed that reinforced behaviors are more likely to be repeated, while unreinforced behaviors are less likely to occur over time. Skinner's work suggested that much of human behavior is learned through experience and shaped by the rewards or consequences that follow our actions (Skinner, 1953).

Imagine a parent standing in a grocery store checkout line with their young child. The child notices a candy bar and asks for it. The parent initially says, "No." The child begins to whine, cry, complain, or throw a tantrum. Embarrassed by attention from others in line, or simply wanting the behavior to stop, the parent eventually gives in and buys the candy.

From a behaviorist perspective, something important has just happened. The child's negative behavior was followed by a reward: the candy. As a result, the child learns that whining, crying, or throwing a tantrum can be an effective way to get what they want. Because the behavior was reinforced, the child is more likely to repeat it the next time they enter a grocery store checkout line.

The parent, meanwhile, is also being reinforced. By purchasing the candy, the parent gets immediate relief from an uncomfortable situation, and the tantrum stops. In this way, both the parent and the child have had their behaviors reinforced, increasing the likelihood that the cycle will continue.

Similarly, John Watson, a founding figure of behaviorism, argued that the environment plays a significant role in shaping behavior. Watson believed that our surroundings, experiences, and interactions with others influence how we behave throughout our lives.

I find myself agreeing with many aspects of both Skinner's and Watson's theories. Through my work in psychology and human services, I have seen firsthand how environments shape behavior. The conditions in which people live, the support systems available to them, the opportunities they have access to, and even the challenges they encounter can all impact the choices they make and the behaviors they develop.

At the same time, I also see value in Sigmund Freud's belief that childhood experiences help shape who we become as adults. Freud proposed that early experiences shape our personality, emotional development, relationships, and behavioral patterns. While people can certainly grow and change, our earliest experiences often lay the foundation for many of our beliefs, coping strategies, and behavioral patterns.

Together, these perspectives provide a more complete understanding of human behavior. Childhood experiences may lay the foundation, while our environments continue to reinforce, shape, and influence behavior throughout our lives. This suggests that behavior rarely results from a single factor. Instead, it often results from ongoing interactions between our experiences, our environment, and the circumstances we encounter along the way.

This is why I believe it is important to understand the context behind a behavior before passing judgment. To truly understand why people do what they do, we must look beyond the action itself and examine the experiences, reinforcements, and circumstances that may have influenced it. This becomes especially important when discussing the psychology of survival, where the need to provide for oneself or one's family may influence decisions in ways that challenge our assumptions about right and wrong.

III. The Psychology of Survival

When Survival Takes Priority

Consider a single mother working two jobs to support her children. She is already exhausted from long hours, mounting bills, and the constant pressure of trying to provide for her family. One evening, she comes home to discover that her electricity has been disconnected. The refrigerator is no longer running, the house is dark, and the little food she has been able to buy is beginning to spoil. To make matters worse, her children have not eaten a full meal in two days.

Faced with an impossible situation, she decides to take on extra hours so she can earn enough money to restore the electricity and buy groceries. However, doing so means leaving her children home alone for several hours without supervision and without adequate food.

Most people would agree that leaving children home alone under those circumstances is not ideal. Yet before passing judgment, psychology encourages us to ask a deeper question: What factors influenced that decision? Was she acting out of neglect, or was she responding to overwhelming stress and limited options?

When individuals experience chronic stress, their decision-making often changes. The mind becomes focused on solving immediate problems rather than considering long-term consequences. Instead of asking, "What is the best decision?" people in survival mode may ask, "What decision will get us through today?" Research suggests that financial hardship and scarcity can consume mental resources, making effective decision-making more difficult under conditions of chronic stress (Mani et al., 2013).

This is where psychology and human behavior interact. The mother's actions may not reflect a lack of love, concern, or responsibility. In fact, those very qualities may have motivated her decision. She was trying to provide for her children, yet her circumstances made every option difficult.

In situations like this, we begin to see how survival can shape behavior. Unmet needs can shape people's choices in ways that may seem difficult to understand from the outside. Research shows that financial hardship can reduce the cognitive bandwidth available for decision-making, causing people to focus more on immediate concerns than on long-term consequences (Mani et al., 2013). While individuals remain responsible for their actions, understanding the circumstances behind them allows us to view human behavior through a more compassionate, informed lens.

This brings me to Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow believed that human beings are motivated by a series of needs that build upon one another. At the foundation of his theory are our most basic physiological needs: food, water, shelter, and sleep. When these fundamental needs go unmet, it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on higher-level needs such as safety and security, meaningful relationships, self-esteem, and ultimately self-fulfillment (Maslow, 1943).

According to Maslow, individuals are less likely to pursue personal growth, achievement, or self-actualization when they are struggling to meet their most basic needs. Instead, they focus their energy and attention on survival.

Maslow's theory naturally leads me to an important question: Do circumstances influence the way we behave?

I believe they do.

When people live in survival mode, desperation, stress, fear, and unmet needs can shape their decision-making. When a parent is uncertain about how they will provide food for their children, pay rent, or keep the lights on, their priorities often shift from long-term goals to immediate survival. In these moments, people may make choices they would not otherwise consider under more stable circumstances (Mani et al., 2013).

This does not necessarily mean that the behavior is right, nor does it remove personal responsibility. However, it does challenge us to look beyond the behavior itself and consider the circumstances that may have contributed to it.

For example, when basic needs go unmet, an individual may steal food to meet an immediate need. While society may judge the act and the law being broken, psychology encourages us to examine the factors that influenced the behavior. Was the individual being irresponsible and making an informed decision, or were they responding to a desperate need to survive or provide for their family?

As I reflect on the question I posed to my student, I am reminded that human behavior is not simply a reflection of a person's character. Instead, it may reflect the circumstances they are trying to overcome, and the basic needs they struggle to meet. This does not excuse harmful behavior, but it does encourage us to approach human behavior with greater empathy. Before we judge a person's choices, we should first seek to understand the circumstances that shaped them.

IV. The World We Live In Today

Economic Pressures Facing Families

For many families, survival is no longer a distant concern but a daily reality. Parents work longer hours, take on second and even third jobs, and make difficult financial decisions to provide their children with the necessities of life. Rising housing costs, increasing grocery prices, higher utility bills, and the overall cost of living have placed a tremendous burden on individuals and families across the country. These issues create chronic stressors that psychologists recognize as significant influences on decision-making and behavior.

As a result, many people live in a constant state of stress as they try to balance responsibilities. Through a psychological lens, it becomes easier to see how chronic financial pressure, uncertainty, and fear of not having enough can shape behavior. For some, every decision centers on survival, not because they lack values or character, but because they do everything they can to provide for themselves and the people who depend on them.

This reality raises an important question: When survival becomes the primary focus, how much do circumstances shape our choices?

V. Is the Person Bad, or Is the Situation Bad?

As I reflect on the question that inspired this article, I find myself asking: Is the person bad, or is the situation bad?

Personally, I believe that both are undesirable. The situation is clearly problematic because no individual or family should have to face circumstances where necessities such as food, shelter, and safety are out of reach. At the same time, we do not want to encourage or normalize behaviors such as stealing. However, psychology challenges us to look beyond the behavior itself and consider the context in which it occurred.

When viewed through the lens of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the situation becomes more complex. Maslow proposed that individuals must first satisfy their most basic physiological and safety needs before they can focus on higher-level needs such as relationships, self-esteem, and self-actualization. When those foundational needs are threatened or unmet, survival often becomes the primary focus. If a parent cannot provide food for their child, their decision-making may no longer be centered on legal consequences. Instead, their attention shifts to the immediate, essential need to provide for their child.

However, some may argue that circumstances should never justify unlawful behavior because personal responsibility must remain paramount. This perspective raises important concerns about accountability. Psychology seeks not to excuse behavior, but to understand the influence behind the behavior. While understanding circumstances does not eliminate responsibility, it allows us to examine behavior more fully and with greater insight.

This brings us back to a critical question:

If survival behaviors are reinforced because they meet immediate needs, should we judge the person, or should we examine the circumstances that influenced the behavior?

I believe the answer requires both. Individuals must remain accountable for their choices, but we must also examine the environmental, social, and economic factors that shaped those choices. Psychology teaches us that behavior does not occur in a vacuum. People are influenced by their circumstances, their experiences, and the pressures they face.

Perhaps the greater lesson is that understanding behavior requires us to move beyond simple labels such as "good" or "bad." Human behavior is often far more complex. Before passing judgment, we should seek to understand the circumstances that shaped the decision, the unmet needs that fueled it, and the reality the individual was trying to survive.

In doing so, we may discover that what appears to be a question about morality is often a deeper question about human need, resilience, and the powerful influence that circumstances can have on behavior.

VI. Can People Change Their Behavior?

I believe that behaviors can change. In fact, one of the most important lessons I hope my students take away from psychology is that people are not permanently defined by their past actions. While our experiences, environments, and circumstances may influence us, they do not have to determine our future.

During our conversation, I explained to my student that every behavior has a consequence. Whether the consequence is positive or negative, it can influence future behavior. This idea aligns closely with B.F. Skinner's belief that consequences help shape behavior. Behaviors that are rewarded or reinforced are more likely to be repeated, while behaviors that result in undesirable consequences are less likely to occur in the future.

This perspective led us to consider a more challenging question. If we understand that circumstances often shape behavior, how should we evaluate behaviors that cause harm or violate social norms?

For example, can we compare a person who breaks the law out of desperation to feed their family with a person who intentionally chooses to drive under the influence of alcohol or another substance? At first glance, both individuals have broken the law. Both actions carry consequences and can cause harm. However, are the motivations behind these behaviors the same?

The person who steals food to feed a hungry child may be acting out of desperation. Their behavior may be driven by an effort to ensure their family's well-being. This differs from the person who knowingly chooses to drive while impaired and who has made a decision that places themselves and others at risk of serious injury or death. While both actions are wrong, the reasons behind them may differ.

This raises another important question: Should we weigh all consequences equally, or should we consider circumstances and intent when evaluating behavior?

As a psychologist and educator, I believe that accountability remains important. Actions have consequences, and individuals must take responsibility for their choices. At the same time, psychology teaches us that human behavior is complex. Understanding behavior requires us to consider not only what a person did, but also why they did it, the circumstances they faced, and the needs they were trying to meet.

The goal is not to excuse harmful behavior. Rather, it is to recognize that two people can engage in unlawful behaviors for very different reasons. One may be motivated by survival, while the other is motivated by choice despite knowing the potential risks to others.

This is where psychology offers one of its most valuable insights: we should not evaluate behavior solely based on the action itself. However, to fully understand behavior, we must also assess the situation and circumstances surrounding the behavior. Only then can we have a more meaningful conversation about the complexities of human behavior.

VII. Conclusion: Looking Beyond the Behavior

My student asked whether people can change negative behaviors into positive behaviors. My answer was simple: yes. Psychology teaches us that behavior is learned. It is influenced and reinforced. But most importantly, it can change.

However, as I reflected on our conversation, I realized we may need to ask an equally important question: Can we change how we view the people behind those behaviors?

Throughout this article, I have explored the idea that behavior does not occur in isolation. Childhood experiences, environmental factors, learned responses, unmet needs, and life circumstances influence human behavior. Sometimes people make poor choices, and those choices have consequences. Yet psychology encourages us to look beyond the behavior itself and seek a deeper understanding of the factors that may have contributed to it. If a father steals to feed his hungry child, is the act wrong? Most people would say yes. However, understanding the circumstances behind that decision reveals something deeper.

This does not mean that individuals should not be held accountable for their actions. It simply means that those looking from the outside understand that accountability and empathy can coexist. However, we can acknowledge that a behavior is wrong while also understanding the circumstances that influenced it.

Perhaps psychology's greatest lesson is not just explaining behavior, but understanding people and the reasons behind their behavior. When we look beyond the action and examine the experiences and needs that may be driving it, we move from being judgmental to being understanding. In doing so, we better appreciate the complexity of human behavior and the resilience of the human spirit.

As my conversation with my student ended, I was reminded that people are often conditioned by circumstance but not permanently defined by it. Understanding that distinction may be one of psychology's most important lessons.

References

Bierman, A., Upenieks, L., & Lee, Y. (2024). Perceptions of Increases in Cost of Living and Psychological Distress Among Older Adults. Journal of Aging and Health, 36(7-8), 414-423. https://doi.org/10.1177/08982643231195924

Mani, A., Mullainathan, S., Shafir, E., & Zhao, J.. (2013). Poverty impedes cognitive function. Science, 341(6149), 976-980. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1238041

Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370-396. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0054346

Mullainathan, S., & Shafir, E. (2013). Scarcity: Why having too little means so much. Times Books.

Skinner, B. F. (1953). Science and hum

Foster care is a term that doesn't bring positive thoughts to mind. I think that so many people think negatively about the foster care system because of the horror stories about children placed in foster care, some of the behaviors exhibited, foster parents being cruel, abusive, and neglectful, and people doing it for money. These are just some of the negative things that are associated with foster care. As a child placement agency (CPA), while training foster parents, I always said, “It takes a special person to be a foster parent. I’m not that special; that’s why I’m not a foster parent.” I have worked with some really special foster parents over the years. I have witnessed foster parents impacting the lives of children when everyone else gave up on that child. So, my statement that it takes a special person is true to my heart.

In Florida, prospective foster parents must complete 21 hours of an approved state curriculum. Also, depending on the level of foster care, the training is more intensive.

Becoming a foster parent requires multiple steps, and training is just one layer. Here is a simple outline of the main steps to becoming a foster parent:

1. Attend an orientation session about foster care.
2. Complete the required training hours and any additional classes, if needed.
3. Submit an application and provide necessary documentation.
4. Pass background screenings, including fingerprinting and checks for all household members.
5. Complete a home study and home inspection to make sure the environment is safe for children.
6. Demonstrate financial stability and provide references.
7. Once approved, match with a child or children in need of a foster home.

Now that I have discussed what it takes to become a foster parent, I want to talk about secondary trauma and compassion fatigue among foster parents. Secondary trauma and compassion fatigue are emotional duress and distress that develop after a person has been indirectly exposed to another person’s traumatic experience (Figley, 1995; Sprang et al., 2019).

Symptoms are seen physically: foster parents are overly tired and can't seem to get enough rest; behaviorally, foster parents become negative. They are often irritable and lose interest; psychologically, sometimes they develop mental health issues. Foster parents are exposed to their foster children's trauma, and repeated exposure to traumatic stories, behaviors, and emotional experiences can negatively affect caregivers (Carew, 2016; Teculeasa et al., 2022). I am not talking about one or two children but about caring for individuals with trauma for multiple years. Then, compassion for helping individuals can diminish as empathy decreases.

Research suggests that compassion fatigue is associated with foster parent burnout and may negatively influence the fostering experience (Parker, 2009; Dowdy-Hazlett et al., 2024). There are practical ways that foster parents can protect themselves. Simple self-care routines, regular breaks, mindfulness or relaxation exercises, and time for joyful activities can help. Remember, taking care of yourself means you can better care for the children in your home, and asking for help is not a weakness.

Foster parent retention remains a significant challenge nationwide, with many agencies reporting difficulties recruiting and retaining qualified foster homes (Bell et al., 2023; Gibbs et al., 2005). I think this issue is increasing because of the demands children bring and the behavioral problems at home and school. Finding support is difficult, especially due to people not being willing to go through the background clearances, which has limited foster parent support and contributed to high turnover among child welfare staff. Studies have identified inadequate support, limited respite care, and strained relationships with child welfare agencies as factors associated with foster parent turnover (Bell et al., 2023; Dowdy-Hazlett & Clark, 2023).

However, support networks are available to help foster parents feel less isolated and better equipped. Many communities have local foster parent associations or support groups where foster parents can share experiences and advice. National organizations like the National Foster Parent Association and Foster Parent Support Group USA offer online communities, resources, and advocacy. Some child placement agencies have their own support programs, giving new foster parents a chance to connect with more experienced families. Your local child placement agency or licensing specialist can also be an important point of contact for connecting you with local events, trainings, peer support, and emergency help. I encourage foster parents to reach out to these networks, as connecting with others who understand your challenges can make a big difference.

Speaking with a licensed foster parent, she stated, “If you want to retain foster parents, you have to genuinely care for the people doing the caring. Don't only call when you need a placement, a signature, transportation, or something from us. Check in because you genuinely want to know how we and the children are doing. Ask what we need before we reach the breaking point.”

What are some of the things that can decrease secondary trauma and compassion fatigue in foster parents? Offering more support is a starting point. Many foster parents do not receive a break. Research has found that respite care is associated with reduced caregiver stress, improved family stability, and greater caregiver satisfaction (Madden et al., 2016). Offering more respite care to foster homes would help alleviate the behaviors that we are seeing in our foster parents.

Respite care provides short-term relief by allowing foster parents to arrange for a trusted and licensed caregiver to look after their foster child for a brief period, ranging from a few hours to several days. If foster parents need this type of break, they can usually request respite care through their child placement agency or caseworker. The process typically involves notifying your agency in advance, completing any required paperwork, and matching with an approved respite provider. By using respite care, foster parents can recharge and return to their caregiving role with renewed energy and patience. Just as we focus on positive reinforcement with our children, why not do the same for foster parents? Being recognized for doing a good job, even during stressful periods, goes a long way.

Resources for Foster Parents

Foster parents do not have to navigate the challenges of caregiving alone. Several national organizations provide education, advocacy, training, peer support, and community resources for foster, adoptive, and kinship families. Resources include:

• National Foster Parent Association (NFPA): https://nfpaonline.org
• National Foster Parent Association Training Institute (NFPATI): https://nfpati.org
• AdoptUSKids: https://www.adoptuskids.org
• Foster the Family: https://www.fosterthefamily.org

These organizations offer valuable information, training opportunities, support networks, and caregiver resources designed to strengthen families and improve outcomes for children in care.

Join the Conversation

Foster parenting can be both rewarding and challenging. By sharing our experiences, we can learn from one another and build stronger support systems for caregivers and children alike. I invite foster parents, child welfare professionals, educators, and mental health providers to share their thoughts, experiences, and recommendations for preventing compassion fatigue and supporting caregiver well-being.

Leave a comment or connect with us at facebook.com/FamilyUnityLLC. Together, we can continue the conversation and strengthen support for foster families in our communities.

References

Carew, N. M. (2016). Secondary traumatic stress and the foster parenting experience: Exploring factors associated with the prevalence of secondary traumatic stress in foster parents caring for children who have experienced trauma (Doctoral dissertation, Michigan State University).

Dowdy-Hazlett, T., Cooley, M., Clark, S., Englehardt, E., & Barney, R. (2024). Compassion fatigue and compassion satisfaction among foster parents. Child Welfare.

Figley, C. R. (1995). Compassion fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized. Brunner/Mazel.

Madden, E. E., Chanmugam, A., McRoy, R. G., Kaufman, L., Ayers-Lopez, S., Boo, M., & Ledesma, K. J. (2016). The impact of formal and informal respite care on foster, adoptive, and kinship parents caring for children involved in the child welfare system. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 33(6), 523–534.

Teculeasa, F., Golu, F., & Gorbănescu, A. (2023). What mediates the link between foster parents' sensitivity towards child posttraumatic stress symptoms and job satisfaction? The role of compassion fatigue and foster parent-child relationship. Journal of Child and Adolescent Trauma, 16(2), 309–320. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40653-022-00513-x

Bell, A., Falkingham, N., & Lajeunesse, K. (2023). Foster parent retention. Research and Evaluation in Child, Youth and Family Services, 5(1). https://doi.org/10.14288/recyfs.v5i1.199164

Countless books, podcasts, articles, and experts offer advice on parenting practices. While these resources are helpful, we often parent based on our childhood experiences with our parents. When I work with parents and teach them effective parenting practices, I find that many families rely heavily on their childhood experiences. Many families are unaware of how their practices affect their children.

I often hear from families that, because of their experiences, they promised not to be like their parents. However, many fail to realize that, at some point, they end up parenting like their parents. I want to begin this article by discussing the different parenting styles. Psychologist Diana Baumrind identified four primary parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and uninvolved. In this article, I am only going to focus on the first three parenting styles identified by Baumrind.

The first parenting style I will discuss is used in many cultures and among different ethnicities. Authoritarian parenting is often criticized; parents who use this style are rigid and not very nurturing. This parenting style relies on strict rules, high expectations, and obedience, with little room for discussion or flexibility. Despite the negative perception of authoritarian parenting, children raised this way have lots of structure.

The next parenting style I will discuss is permissive parenting. This parenting style is also criticized and is more common in today’s generation. Permissive parents are very nurturing, unlike authoritarian parents. Permissive parents seek their children's approval. They want to be friends rather than parents. In permissive parenting, the roles reverse. The parent becomes the child, and the child becomes the parent (Macfie et al., 2005). An example of permissive parenting is when children dictate their bedtimes and when they will attend school, demand what they want, and have those demands fulfilled. Permissive parents are fearful of losing the approval of their child. These parents go partying with their children, double-date, and even purchase alcoholic beverages so that their child has popularity within their friend groups (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022). In my experience working with families, permissive parents often become authoritarian when behavior escalates. However, this response is frequently short-lived, and they eventually return to their previous parenting style.

The third and last parenting style is authoritative. This parenting style offers structure and nurture. It balances structure and warmth in the parent-child relationship. Children thrive in both a structured and nurturing environment. What are the risks when children lack structure? Some risks include behavioral problems such as defiance, impulsiveness, or disruptive behavior; poor self-discipline; difficulty with time management and responsibility; poor emotional security, which increases anxiety and stress; academic challenges, including not keeping up with assignments, failing grades, and poor habits that interfere with school performance; and difficulty respecting boundaries, such as authority, and maintaining healthy relationships (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022). When children thrive in a structured and nurturing environment, they are more likely to develop self-discipline, perform better academically, respect authority, build healthier relationships, and feel more emotionally secure and supported (Baumrind, 1991; Lamborn et al., 1991; Steinberg et al., 1992).

This brings me to purposeful parenting. When we parent with purpose, we are intentional in our responses. I like to correlate this with something that I teach my families: “Stop, think, then respond.” This helps us parent more effectively rather than reacting based on emotion. When we parent emotionally, we make poor decisions about how to respond to our children’s behavior. As parents, we must model the desired behavior that we want from our children. This brings me to effective communication and active listening. Parenting with purpose should not be about controlling your child's life; instead, it should support positive relationships. Effective communication strengthens the parent-child relationship by building trust and openness. When children are heard and not judged or criticized, they communicate their needs more effectively. This is why active listening is so important for parents. Active listening involves giving children your full attention and validating their feelings. When we validate their feelings, we are not telling children how to feel. When children feel heard, they are more likely to communicate openly, cooperate with expectations, and develop healthy emotional regulation skills (Jeon & Park, 2024).

Parenting with purpose is more than setting rules; it also means building relationships. It means having daily interactions, meaningful conversations, and intentional moments that communicate love, respect, and guidance. When combining structure, nurturing support, effective communication, and active listening, parents create an environment where children can thrive today and carry those lessons into adulthood.

Parenting can be rewarding but challenging at times. While there is no perfect parenting formula, proven strategies have been shown to help strengthen the parent-child relationship, improve communication, establish healthy boundaries, and support children's emotional well-being (England-Mason et al., 2023). Every family faces different challenges, and sometimes having guidance, support, and tools can make a difference in how we engage with our children.

At Family Unity, we aim to empower parents and caregivers through parenting education, coaching, and family-centered support programs. For parents seeking to strengthen their parenting skills, manage behavioral challenges, improve family communication, or better understand a child's developmental needs, our programs provide practical guidance and encouragement every step of the way.

Remember, parenting with purpose begins with a willingness to learn, grow, and connect. By investing in your parenting journey today, you are investing in your child's future.

To learn more about parenting classes, individualized coaching, and family support services, contact Family Unity at www.familyunity-bringingfamiliestogether.com. Together, we can build stronger families, healthier relationships, and brighter futures for children.

References

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95. https://doi.org/10.1177/0272431691111004

England-Mason, G., Andrews, K., Atkinson, L., Gonzalez, A. (2023). Emotion socialization parenting interventions targeting emotional competence in young children: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Clinical Psychology Review, 100, 102252. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2023.102252

Jeon, J., & Park, D. (2024). Your feelings are reasonable: Emotional validation promotes persistence among preschoolers. Developmental Science, 27(5), e13523. https://doi.org/10.1111/desc.13523

Lamborn, S. D., Mounts, N. S., Steinberg, L., & Dornbusch, S. M. (1991). Patterns of competence and adjustment among adolescents from authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent, and neglectful families. Child Development, 62(5), 1049–1065. https://doi.org/10.2307/1131151

Macfie, J., McElwain, N., Houts, R., & Cox, M. (2005). Intergenerational transmission of role reversal between parent and child: Dyadic and family systems internal working models. Attachment & Human Development, 7(1), 51–65.

Sanvictores, T., & Mendez, M. D. (2022). Types of parenting styles and effects on children. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568743/

Steinberg, L., Lamborn, S. D., Dornbusch, S. M., & Darling, N. (1992). Impact of parenting practices on adolescent achievement: Authoritative parenting, school involvement, and encouragement to succeed. Child Development, 63(5), 1266–1281. https://doi.org/10.2307/1131532