A powerful reflection on the permission to grieve unfulfilled dreams while embracing gratitude for the present. Discover how acceptance and grief can coexist as you navigate life's unexpected turns.
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Influential Woman · Emergency management and coaching
Dr. Tamara Lapsley, MEP, PMP
Director of Travel Operations, National Nuclear Security Administration (NNSA)
Lorton, VA 22079
5Articles published
In Conversation
Dr. Tamara Lapsley for Bold. Brilliant. Unstoppable.
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Dr. Tamara Lapsley, MEP, PMP: What does being an influential woman mean to you? Being an influential woman means understanding that influence is not about having the biggest title, the largest platform, or being the loudest person in the room. To me, influence is about impact. It's about how people feel after they've encountered you. What they believe is possible because they watch you keep going and rather your journey gives another woman permission to believe in herself. At this stage in my life, I understand that every experience, the successes, the disappointments, the transitions, the leadership lessons, and even the seasons that challenged me. Has given me something I can serve to someone else that I can use to serve to someone else. Being influential also means being willing to be visible. To tell the truth about your journey. Not just the polished parts of it. Because sometimes another woman doesn't need to see your perfection, she needs to see your possibility. I want my influence to remind women, especially women entering their second act, that they are not finished. They still have purpose to pursue, impact to make, and another chapter to write. That's what being an influential woman means to me. Using my experience to open doors, create possibilities and help another woman recognize the power that was already inside of her.
What's one piece of advice you would give to younger women chasing their dreams?
Dr. Tamara Lapsley, MEP, PMP: The one piece of advice I would give younger women chasing their dreams is to remember that they're still a woman. To remember to take care of themselves. I know that we all want the big house and nice cars and good jobs and be financially stable and be able to travel the world. That's, that's in everyone's dreams, but realizing that sometimes dreams take time, it's not gonna happen overnight, realizing visiting those places also takes time. While you're chasing your dream, enjoy the process. Slow down, laugh a little. Cry a little. Travel a lot. Enjoy the process. Don't be in a rush. Because you're gonna miss the enjoyment along the way, you're gonna miss the purpose along the way. If you don't slow down and look around. And see what Is happening. Chase the dream whether it's writing a book, whether it's being a content creator, whether it's being a CEO or COO or owning your own business, or just being a six-figure, girly corporate daddy, they all say, whatever it may be. Enjoy the process. Do not allow anyone to steal your dream. Don't allow anyone to set expectations on your dream. Just don't forget to drink and don't forget to enjoy it on the way.
Full transcript available
Her Story
About Tamara
Dr. Tamara Lapsley, MEP, PMP is a distinguished federal executive leader, author, and leadership coach with expertise in emergency management, crisis leadership, operational excellence, and empowering women through personal and professional transitions. She currently serves as Director of Travel Operations for the National Nuclear Security Administration (NNSA) within the U.S. Department of Energy, where she leads enterprise travel operations, governance, compliance, and strategic improvement initiatives. With a career spanning military service, law enforcement, emergency management, and federal leadership, Dr. Lapsley has built a reputation for resilience, mission-focused leadership, and advancing organizational readiness in complex environments.
Dr. Lapsley earned her Ph.D. in Public Policy and Administration with a concentration in Emergency Management from Walden University and holds a Master’s degree in Management in Public Administration from the University of Phoenix. Her extensive professional journey includes service as an Army veteran, correctional officer, police officer, and emergency management specialist, providing her with a unique foundation in leadership, crisis response, continuity planning, and community service. Throughout her federal career, she has led national operations, developed emergency preparedness strategies, managed critical programs, and supported senior leaders in making informed decisions during complex and evolving situations.
Beyond her federal leadership, Dr. Lapsley is the founder of Elegant Coaching, a coaching practice dedicated to helping high-performing women over 40 transition from burnout to purpose, embrace their experiences, and confidently step into their next chapter. She is the author of the newly released book, A Daughter. A Mother. A Wife. A Soldier… A WOMAN, and the accompanying Second Acts Success Blueprint workbook, which inspire women to recognize their resilience, redefine success, and pursue meaningful transformation. Through her writing, coaching, and service as a disaster manager with the American Red Cross, Dr. Lapsley continues to champion leadership, empowerment, balance, self-care, and the importance of community. As a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated, she remains committed to uplifting others through service, mentorship, and purpose-driven leadership.
Her Interview
Ten minutes with Tamara
01What do you attribute your success to?
I attribute my success to a strong sense of purpose, community, and service. Throughout my career and personal journey, I have found fulfillment in helping others and making a positive impact wherever I can. Supporting people in times of need gives me a deep sense of pride because I believe in doing my part as a human being, a neighbor, and a member of the community. My commitment to service, compassion, and uplifting others has guided my decisions, shaped my leadership style, and motivated me to continue creating meaningful change.
02What advice would you give to young women entering your industry?
I would advise young women entering my industry to focus on finding balance and recognizing the value of teamwork. As leaders, we often feel the pressure to solve every problem ourselves, but true leadership comes from knowing when to rely on the strengths and expertise of those around us. Building strong relationships, trusting your team, and understanding that you do not have to carry every challenge alone are essential to long-term success. Embrace collaboration, take care of yourself, and remember that effective leadership is not about doing everything—it is about empowering others and achieving goals together.
03What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
The values that are most important to me in both my work and personal life are faith, gratitude, balance, and self-care. My faith has become a guiding foundation, and I begin each day with prayer and appreciation for the opportunities and blessings in my life. I believe in being intentional about taking care of myself, which allows me to better serve others and show up as the best version of myself. I have learned the importance of creating balance, making time for personal growth, and prioritizing moments of reflection and renewal. By nurturing my faith, practicing gratitude, and investing in self-care, I am able to lead with greater compassion, purpose, and authenticity.
Her Content Hub
Articles by Tamara
I am allowed to grieve the life I thought I would have.
Finding peace with the dreams that didn't come true while embracing the beauty of what actually is.
I Am Allowed to Grieve the Life I Thought I Would Have
Whew. That one is sitting with me.
Because grief isn't always about losing a person.
- Sometimes you grieve the life you pictured.
- The marriage you thought would last.
- The family you thought would look different.
- The career you thought you'd have.
- The relationships you thought would never change.
- The years you wish you could get back.
- The version of you that you thought you'd become.
And here's what I'm learning:
I can be grateful for my life today and still grieve what didn't happen.
Those feelings don't cancel each other out.
Grieving what could have been doesn't mean I don't appreciate what is. It means I'm human.
Some dreams don't come true the way we imagined them. Some chapters end before we're ready. And sometimes, life takes us somewhere we never would have chosen for ourselves.
But maybe acceptance isn't pretending it didn't hurt. Maybe acceptance is finally being able to say:
"That wasn't the life I planned... but I'm still allowed to create something beautiful from the life that's in front of me."
So today, I'm giving myself permission to grieve what wasn't...
while still making room for what can be. ❤️
Can anybody else relate?
#Grief #LifeTransitions #StartingOver #SecondAct #WomenSupportingWomen #LifeAfterLoss #ElegantCoaching #DRT
A profound reflection on discovering self-worth beyond achievements and responsibilities. This piece explores burnout as a catalyst for rediscovering one's authentic identity and the transformative power of choosing yourself with grace and intention.
Beyond the Burnout
Rediscovering yourself beyond burnout and the roles that defined you.
There was a time when I thought being strong meant carrying everything.
The career. The family. The expectations. The responsibilities. The pressure to lead, perform, provide, and still make it all look effortless.
Until I realized that constantly pushing through wasn't strength. Sometimes, it was survival.
Burnout taught me something success never could: I mattered beyond what I could produce for everyone else.
I had to learn how to choose myself without guilt. How to rest without feeling unproductive. How to stop measuring my worth by titles, accomplishments, or how much I could handle.
And somewhere beyond the burnout, I found me again.
Not the soldier. Not the leader. Not the mother. Not the wife. Not the author. Not the coach.
Just Tamara.
The woman underneath all those titles.
And she deserves the same love, grace, attention, and investment that she has spent years giving everyone else.
That's what my Second Act means to me.
I'm not becoming someone new.
I'm finally making room for the woman who was there all along.
Dr. Tamara Lapsley shares how her diverse life experiences—from military service to motherhood to authorship—have shaped her authentic influence. Discover how turning challenges into lessons empowers women to believe in themselves and embrace their own second acts.
Your Experience is Your Superpower
How Your Experiences Become Your Greatest Influence
What makes you influential isn't one title, one accomplishment, or one moment.
It's the collection of experiences that shaped you.
I've served in uniform. I've led in rooms where difficult decisions had to be made. I've been a daughter, mother, wife, veteran, leader, author, and coach. I've experienced success, transition, grief, uncertainty, reinvention, and the courage it takes to begin again.
Every chapter taught me something.
- The military taught me discipline and resilience.
- Leadership taught me how to serve while leading.
- Motherhood taught me strength and sacrifice.
- Loss taught me how precious purpose and time really are.
- Writing taught me the power of telling our stories.
- Stepping into my second act taught me that starting over doesn't mean starting from nothing.
You start again with experience.
That is my superpower.
I don't influence women because I've had a perfect journey. I influence because I've lived, learned, led, fallen, gotten back up, and turned those lessons into something that can help another woman move forward.
At this stage of my life, I understand that influence isn't about how many people know your name.
It's about how many people are encouraged to believe in themselves because you were willing to use your experience to show them what's possible.
That is the woman I choose to be.
My experience is my superpower.
My story is my influence.
And my second act is just getting started.
— Dr. Tamara Lapsley (Dr. T)
Author | Veteran | Leader | Coach
✨ Second Acts Start Here.
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