Valencia Hazelton

Mental illness is a subject that many people are familiar with but may not fully understand. For some, it is something they have read about, witnessed from a distance, or encountered through someone they know. For others, it is a deeply personal experience that has shaped their childhood, family relationships, and adult lives.

For me, mental health has been part of my story for as long as I can remember.

Growing up in a household where education and religion were strongly emphasized, I was introduced to psychiatric counseling at approximately fifteen years old. At that age, some of my behaviors and decisions were viewed by my family as reasons for concern. However, mental health professionals explained that what I was experiencing at the time was not necessarily a mental illness.

That early experience taught me something I would come to appreciate much later in life: not every challenging behavior is a mental health disorder, and not every person living with a mental health disorder should be defined by their behavior.

During those years, mental health challenges were already present within my family. My brother experienced significant difficulties, and my mother was also receiving mental health treatment. At one point, nearly everyone in our household, with the exception of my younger sister, was participating in some form of counseling.

As a teenager, I witnessed circumstances that were sometimes confusing, frightening, and difficult to understand. My experiences showed me how complicated mental illness could be, particularly when symptoms affected the entire household.

But witnessing mental illness as a child and becoming the parent of a child with mental health challenges are two very different experiences.

I was approximately twenty-eight years old when I gave birth to my daughter. By the time she was four or five, concerns about her behavior had become increasingly apparent. My mother, having already raised a child with significant mental health challenges, recognized signs that I was not yet prepared to acknowledge. She strongly encouraged me to have my daughter evaluated.

I initially struggled with denial.

Despite everything I had witnessed growing up, accepting that my own child might face similar challenges was difficult. I wanted to believe that the behaviors I was seeing were simply phases she would outgrow.

Following professional evaluations, my daughter received diagnoses that included Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). During counseling sessions, professionals also identified traits consistent with bipolar disorder, although she was not formally diagnosed with that condition during childhood.

ADHD can affect attention, impulse control, and activity levels. ODD involves a persistent pattern of irritability, defiance, and conflict with authority figures that extends beyond ordinary childhood behavior.

As a single mother, managing these challenges became one of the most demanding experiences of my life.

My daughter's persistent behavioral difficulties affected nearly every aspect of our daily routine. Finding reliable childcare was difficult, and maintaining a consistent educational experience became a struggle because of frequent disruptions. What other families might have considered ordinary daily activities could become exhausting obstacles in our household.

One of the hardest lessons I learned was that recognizing the need for help and successfully obtaining that help are not the same thing.

My daughter's resistance to counseling, medication, and structure made consistent treatment difficult. Without sustained support and effective management of her conditions, our home life sometimes became almost unbearable.

I loved my daughter deeply, but I learned that love alone could not resolve every challenge we faced.

Unfortunately, many of those difficulties continued into adulthood. Over the years, I have watched my daughter encounter opportunities that could have positively changed her circumstances, only to struggle with maintaining the consistency and stability needed to sustain them.

In her particular experience, changes in mood, behavior, and emotional regulation have created barriers to personal and professional growth. It has been painful to witness her potential while also seeing how unresolved mental health challenges can interfere with opportunities.

However, I want to be clear: no two people experience mental illness in exactly the same way. A diagnosis does not automatically determine someone's behavior, abilities, or future. Outcomes can vary depending on the individual, the condition, the severity of symptoms, access to appropriate care, and the effectiveness of treatment and support.

My experiences have also taught me that we should not automatically give up on loved ones who are struggling.

Sometimes, you may be the only person willing to listen, research their condition, advocate for their needs, and help them find professional support. Your willingness to understand what others dismiss can be an important source of encouragement.

At the same time, supporting someone does not mean sacrificing your own well-being indefinitely.

When a loved one reaches adulthood and has the legal ability to make their own healthcare decisions, there may come a point when healthy boundaries become necessary. You can offer resources, encourage treatment, and remain compassionate, but you cannot always make another adult accept the help being offered.

Loving someone and establishing boundaries are not mutually exclusive.

My understanding of mental health is also shaped by my own experiences with anxiety and depression.

For a significant period of my life, I lived in an environment that contributed to my emotional distress. Even while receiving treatment, remaining in circumstances that continued to affect my mental health made healing difficult. I often felt that I lacked a meaningful outlet for what I was experiencing.

Nevertheless, I continued moving forward.

My own journey has reminded me that experiencing anxiety, depression, or another mental health condition does not eliminate a person's ability to pursue goals, maintain meaningful relationships, build a career, or live a fulfilling life. Mental health challenges may require treatment, adjustments, support, and ongoing attention, but they do not erase a person's identity or potential.

I am living proof that difficult chapters do not have to become the entirety of our stories.

And that brings me to what I believe is the most important message of all: mental health awareness matters.

Mental illness is not always visible, and its symptoms are not always easily understood. Sometimes, behaviors we interpret as disrespect, indifference, hostility, or unwillingness to cooperate may reflect challenges that a person is struggling to manage.

Without understanding what someone is experiencing, it can be easy to judge what we see rather than recognize what may be happening beneath the surface.

That is why mental health awareness and education are so important.

Take the time to learn about mental health conditions, the ways they affect individuals, and the treatments and resources available. As our understanding of mental health continues to evolve, so do the opportunities to provide meaningful support.

You may never fully understand another person's struggle, but your willingness to listen, educate yourself, and approach them with compassion could make a difference in their life.

Sometimes, you may be the one person willing to see beyond the behavior, beyond the challenges, and beyond the diagnosis.

Before you judge what you do not understand, take the time to learn. You never know whose life your understanding might change.

For much of my life, my purpose seemed clear. I was a mother, a wife, a caregiver, a provider, and often the person others depended on when life became difficult. My days were filled with responsibilities, expectations, and the needs of those around me. Somewhere along the way, however, I realized I had spent so much time fulfilling roles in other people's lives that I had rarely stopped to ask what I wanted for my own.

Then came a season of change. Divorce, an empty nest, and the unfamiliar freedom of making decisions based on my own hopes and desires left me facing a question I wasn't entirely prepared to answer: What does stepping into your purpose look like when you're still discovering what that purpose might be?

I didn't have all the answers. In fact, I still don't. But I've learned something important: sometimes purpose isn't revealed before we take the first step. Sometimes, it begins to unfold because we find the courage to step through a door we never imagined would open for us.

I never imagined that, at 56, I would be drawing upon my years of public speaking experience and charm school training to explore opportunities in today's entertainment industry. Skills I developed years ago, without knowing where they might eventually lead, are now finding new purpose through modeling, acting, interviews, and other creative opportunities. What once seemed like separate chapters of my life is coming together in ways I never anticipated. I've discovered that stepping into something unfamiliar doesn't always mean starting from scratch. Sometimes, the very experiences we've carried with us for years become the foundation for new opportunities we never saw coming.

I've been fortunate to get a glimpse inside the entertainment industry, exploring opportunities that have awakened talents I never realized I possessed or perhaps had simply forgotten along the way. What began as a willingness to try something new has opened doors to meaningful networking opportunities and connections with accomplished producers, writers, and other creative professionals whose work I admire. These experiences have reminded me that even at this stage of life, there are still parts of myself waiting to be discovered.

I encourage anyone with a dream to pursue it, regardless of age or a lack of support. Sometimes, our deepest aspirations remain dormant, waiting for the right moment to surface and bloom. I am continually in awe of the talents that have emerged in me, and I challenge you to give your own dreams the opportunity to do the same.

I was taught how important advocacy was early in life! Taking a stand for yourself and those who follow behind you matters.

Over the span of my career and personal life, I've mastered that craft, advocating for many reasons and achieving different outcomes, often benefiting others more than myself.

Advocacy runs through my family's history, from my mother's participation in civil rights marches and membership in the Black Panther Party to my grandfather's service in World War II. I have also faced my own battles against prejudice and for equal opportunity.

Know what your fight is. Know who benefits and who may suffer. Offer others the opportunity to join your cause. Gather testimonials from people who have faced similar challenges. Understand how your presentation, accountability, ethics, and integrity can affect the outcome. And practice empathy, because putting yourself in someone else's situation develops compassion.

Advocacy is not always about winning the fight for yourself. Sometimes, it is about making the path easier for someone who comes after you. Your voice may be the very thing that gives someone else the courage to use theirs. Never underestimate the difference one person can make by choosing to stand up, speak out, and advocate for change.