The Client She Couldn't Help

One of the biggest things I am learning early in my career is that helping someone does not always mean being able to solve their problem yourself. In my work, I am often out in the community educating people about prevention, healthy relationships and dating violence rather than working directly with survivors one-on-one. That has taught me that I may not always be the person who can provide someone with everything they need, and that is okay. Sometimes the most helpful thing I can do is listen, provide the information or resources I can and connect someone with the people who are better equipped to support them. I have also learned that knowing your own limits is an important part of being a good advocate. That includes knowing when you need to step back and take care of yourself. Earlier in my life, I learned through burnout that constantly pushing yourself does not make you stronger or more effective. I have also experienced imposter syndrome and moments where I questioned whether I was doing enough. Those experiences taught me that self-care, asking for support and giving yourself room to grow are not signs of weakness. They are part of being able to continue showing up for other people. I think advocacy is less about having all the answers and more about being willing to listen, recognize your limits and make sure people know they do not have to navigate difficult situations alone.

You have to know when to step back from someone that doesn't want to change. They talk down on themselves and you continue to give them the support and attention. Soon they start making you think negative about them and you step away instead of sharing your feelings. Open communication is great when someone else is hurting. After that, if they continue, it is time to give them space.