The Mistake She Made as a New Leader

Early in my career, I was so eager to prove I was capable that I took on too much myself and didn't ask for help when I should have. I learned that leadership isn't about proving you can carry everything, it's about trusting people, being willing to say "I don't know," and recognizing that asking for help can be a strength, not a weakness.

I learned early in my career to not take criticism personally, but as a challenge to myself to grow and learn from the experience. This has helped me develop as a person and a professional.

One mistake I made as a new leader was giving too many options for unproductive, unmotivated employees to change their behavior. Potential is NOT productive. I held on to people who I thought had great potential and didn't have the courage to let go. I thought I needed to give them EVERY opportunity to be a valuable part of the team. Instead of trusting myself, I needed more validation that their lack of results wasn't my lack of leadership or training. I learned that a good leader cannot afford to give them EVERY opportunity. It only led to draining energy from me as well as the employee and negatively affecting the environment for the whole team. I learned to let people go after a few opportunities of coaching so they could find the right place to thrive and I could focus on my team and results. I learned that it was just as important to fire as it was to hire.

Early in my leadership journey, I made the same mistake more than once. I believed in my people, sometimes more than they believed in themselves. When senior leaders raised concerns about the performance of a team leader or direct report, I stepped in. I asked for more time and another chance. I put my own credibility on the line because I believed that with the right support, people can rise. At least three times in my career, I stuck my neck out for someone on my team, and at least three times, I was the one who paid for it. My judgment was questioned, my standing with leadership took a hit, and opportunities quietly went to others. The people I defended never knew what it cost me. A young rabbi once taught a lesson that I didn't fully understand until I had lived it: which of you, wanting to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost? I was building without counting. I still believe in second chances. That hasn't changed. What has changed is how I give them. Now, before I advocate for someone, I count the cost. I look honestly at the facts and the pattern of performance. I put clear expectations, support, and a timeline in place, and I make sure the person knows exactly what's at stake and owns their part in the turnaround. I'm also transparent with my leaders, so my advocacy comes with a plan, not just a plea. Grace without structure isn't leadership. It's hope. Today, I lead with both: a heart that believes in people, and the wisdom to count the cost before I build.