For years, I found myself quietly adjusting to the expectations of others. I would hold back ideas in meetings, hesitate to take on challenges, and shrink into the background, all in an effort to avoid making anyone uncomfortable. I thought this was simply professional, or that it was my role to accommodate others' comfort above my own growth. But over time, I realized that shrinking only limited my impact and my confidence. The turning point came during my work in operations, a field I had not initially expected to love. I had started my career with a degree in Graphic Design, drawn to the creative side of things. But as I dove into backend workflows, automations, and creating SOPs, I discovered a passion for making systems work efficiently and helping others grow in their roles. I loved training colleagues, building processes, and finding ways to reduce manual work. That is when I realized I was not meant to hide my skills, I was meant to show up fully. This shift did not happen overnight. Early on, I faced situations where I felt tempted to shrink, to stay quiet, or to play small so as not to ruffle feathers. I had to learn to process my feelings, acknowledge them, and then act anyway. One lesson that helped me was simple: focus on quality, and speed, recognition, and influence will follow. Another was about integrity, staying true to my values even when it is easier to compromise. Both shaped how I approached my work and my presence in professional spaces. The results were transformative. I became more confident in my abilities, more intentional in my contributions, and more excited about leadership opportunities. I found joy in helping others learn and develop their skills, whether through training sessions, SOPs, or workflow automations. I realized that showing up fully does not just benefit me, it benefits the team and the organization as a whole. Stopping the habit of shrinking meant embracing my passions, asserting my expertise, and trusting that my voice had value. It is a lesson I carry with me every day: confidence is not about being loud or forceful, it is about knowing your worth, acting with integrity, and contributing in ways that reflect your true capabilities. The moment I stopped shrinking to fit was the moment I began to thrive, not just professionally, but personally.

Do it scared

There wasn't one single moment, but rather a shift that happened over time. Early in my career, I found myself holding back, questioning whether I had enough experience to speak up, especially in rooms where I was younger or one of the few women present. I thought I needed more time, more proof, or more validation before fully stepping into my voice. What changed was realizing that I was already capable, and that respect is not something you wait for, it's something you embody. I began to understand that everyone brings a different perspective, regardless of age or years of experience. My way of thinking, my attention to detail, and my ability to see risks and solutions had real value. From that point on, I stopped trying to fit into expectations and started showing up more fully, speaking with confidence, trusting my intuition, and taking ownership of my role. That shift didn't just change how others saw me, it changed how I saw myself.

Early in my career, I often led with a strong focus on service and making sure I was aligning with expectations, supporting leadership, and ensuring all voices were heard. While that servant leadership mindset has always been a strength, there were times I held back my own perspective in more complex or high-level discussions, especially when I was still establishing myself in the industry. A defining shift happened as I moved into more leadership roles, particularly while supporting large-scale member engagement and volunteer initiatives. Being responsible for helping translate strategy into execution while managing input from a wide range of stakeholders. In those moments, I realized I was sometimes over-processing every perspective before fully trusting my own leadership voice. What changed was recognizing that my perspective was not separate from the work. It was part of what strengthened the work. As I stepped further into executive leadership, I began to understand that effective leadership is not just about creating space for others, but also confidently contributing your own expertise to guide direction and outcomes. That realization shifted everything for me. I stopped over-adjusting in professional spaces and began showing up more fully as myself, grounded in transparency, governance experience, strategic thinking, and servant leadership. As my voice became more present, my confidence deepened. I no longer questioned whether I was being "too direct" or "too assertive." Instead, I focused on being clear, intentional, and consistent in my leadership. That shift has strengthened not only my confidence, but also my ability to lead teams, influence outcomes, and create environments where others feel empowered to do the same.

I believe I finally found myself in my 40's. I had spent many years trying to prove to everyone from my small Texas town that I was more than what I had growing up. I came from a middle class, hard working, large family. We wore hand me downs and ate what was cooked and put on the table. We were poor but we had a happy childhood. But my father passed away when I was very young and my mother very much believed that you became an adult, married someone and raised babies. I am not saying that many people are unhappy that live that life but I knew from a very young age that I was never going to be one of those people. I wanted more. I worked many jobs through the years, went to college for a couple years and was not ready for that. I came home and married young despite my young self's dreams. I spent 12 years playing the part and one day I woke up with 4 young kids and a husband that suffered a brain injury in a car accident. I was actually in the middle of a divorce at the time and things became exceptionally hard during my almost ex husband's trauma, having 4 young kids and trying to figure out my next move. I eventually finished the divorce, loaded up my kiddos and despite the biggest fears I had faced thus far, took a job 8 hours away from any family with my 4 young kids. Those first 2 years were some of the best years we had. I grew as an adult and as a mother and decided it was time to go back to school and head towards a career path that bettered my family life. I took night classes at UNT until I got my master's and began working for C-suite execs often "doing the job without the title". I spent many years doing this because the fear of the unknown is always the scariest. I had many wonderful mentors and built amazing relationships just by being the person that always volunteered to "do the job" even though the job wasn't mine. I built trust and had hands on experience, and to this day these colleagues are the ones that have played a major role in molding who I am as a professional today. I believe in doing the same thing now as the person that younger women are watching and learning from today. I will always be the first to be hands on and to show whoever is watching that it's the littlest things that make the biggest impacts. That if you are willing to "do the job" even when it isn't yours, you will also reap the success that comes with the big jobs, and you will appreciate the success that came from the work that backed it up.

I too can do hard things! I have dyslexia and growing up in public schools was hard. I struggled in school and was held back in 2nd grade because of my dyslexia. As a kid that kind of pulls the wind out of your sails. I was told by many teachers that I wouldn't be able to have normal jobs because of my learning challenges and that I most likely wouldn't make it in college. I had one teacher who did believe in me. Mr. Loza my high school theatre teacher. He told me that yes, I would have to work harder than other students but that I could be whatever I wanted to be. I had been acting since I was 5 and Mr. Loza encouraged me to try theatre tech. I found my place when I made that switch from being on stage to working behind the scenes. I got into Boise State University! What!?! Who would have thought that could happen, not me. I was able to work with my professors and let them know about my dyslexia. They worked with me and helped me graduate with my Theatre Education Degree. While I was also in college I was encouraged to work at Idaho Shakespeare Festival. Working at Idaho Shakespeare Festival helped foster my love for technical jobs. I was the assistant master electrician for 8 years all while getting a teaching job. I was a middle school theatre teacher at Lewis and Clark Middle School for 3 years and a Stagecraft teacher at Mountain View High School for 8 years. I loved working with students and teaching them the craft of theatre. I helped my students be successful outside the classroom as well with many of them taking the skills I helped them gain to jobs later in life. I won a few awards for my production of Cinderella. I was also the first teacher to have live music played for the school musical. I taught students how to use tools and sew. It was always a joy to see the students' faces light up when they finally solved the hard problem they were trying to solve. I was presented with a job opportunity I couldn't pass up and left education after covid. I became the AV Manager/Play Studio Manager at Jakes Urban Meeting Place (JUMP) in Boise Idaho. I was able to be so creative and come up with different educational programs for the community. I started their Dreamweaver Film Festival and program making short films from beginning to end. I also learned more about video while I was working there for 3 years. I then moved to the Boise Centre where I really found my groove as their AV Production Manager. My team of AV professionals are wonderful to work with and have the best customer service. We strive to have successful events and making sure our clients are walking away happy. Looking back at my life I realized that I too can do hard things. I too, even with my challenges that I have to overcome daily, can do it. Even with people telling me that I wouldn't be able to do the job I have now. I too can do hard things.