Be You. The Right People Will Find You.
Discover your authentic self and values before the world shapes your identity and career path.
Know Who You Are Before the World Tells You Who to Be
Early in my career, I thought success meant proving that I could handle anything placed in front of me. I worked hard, accepted new responsibilities, and learned to lead in demanding environments. Like many women, I also became very good at reading the room and understanding what other people needed from me.
That ability served me well, but it also taught me an important lesson. When you spend too much time focused on expectations, whether they are yours or someone else’s, it can become difficult to hear your own voice.
After more than 25 years in customer service, global operations, and leadership, my advice to young women is to know who you are before allowing an industry, a title, society, or another person to decide it for you.
This does not mean having every step of your career mapped out. I certainly did not. For much of my career, I was content in my roles and was often promoted into positions I did not initially believe I was ready to take on. I am grateful for the strong leaders who recognized something in me that I could not yet see in myself.
When I moved from a hotel role into a corporate management position, I was nervous and hesitant. The leader who recommended me offered advice that has stayed with me throughout my career: “If it feels too comfortable, you’re not going to grow.”
He was right.
Growth has rarely felt comfortable. It has often meant accepting responsibility for something I had never done before or trusting that I was capable before I felt completely ready.
Knowing who you are does not require knowing exactly where your career or life will lead. It means understanding your capabilities, recognizing where you still want to grow, and knowing which values you want to carry with you.
For me, those values are integrity, honesty, and communication. They came from my parents, who were hardworking and generous people. They showed me that how you treat people matters. They also taught me that what you do when no one is watching matters just as much.
That foundation stayed with me as I moved into various leadership positions, managed large global teams and complex vendor relationships, and navigated significant organizational change. I entered many roles without having all the answers. I learned to ask questions, observe, listen closely, and be honest about what I knew and what I needed to understand.
I also saw how easily compassion could be lost under the pressure of business. My experience taught me that compassion is one of the qualities that sets strong leaders apart. I could hold people accountable while still leading with empathy. I could make difficult business decisions without forgetting that those decisions affected real people.
Knowing yourself also means accepting that you do not have to be good at everything. We discover our strengths through experience, feedback, observation, and practice. We also learn where we need support and where it is perfectly acceptable not to excel.
I was reminded of this during a work event that I planned while leading an employee recognition and rewards program. As part of the celebration, several of our leaders sang karaoke. I watched in awe as they stepped up to the microphone, even when singing was clearly not their greatest strength.
I told one of them that I had always wanted to sing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” without worrying about how I sounded. I did not have the courage. His response stayed with me. He said, in essence, that when you know what you are good at, everything else can simply be something you have fun with.
I know I am not a great singer, yet I also know that I excel in many other areas. Being secure in those strengths gave me the freedom to sing, laugh at myself, and enjoy the moment.
That experience changed the way I think about confidence. Confidence is not about being good at everything. It is knowing your strengths well enough to enjoy the things you are not so good at without questioning your value.
When I get the chance now, I still belt out “Total Eclipse of the Heart” at karaoke. I may be a little out of tune, but I no longer let that stop me from having fun. It is a small example, but it reminds me that growth begins when we stop worrying about being perfect.
That understanding has followed me through promotions, career changes, consulting, and entrepreneurship. It was also part of what gave me the courage to create Be Your BLISS™.
My work in wellness grew from my experience in demanding executive environments, changes in my own health, and seeing how easily people can lose themselves while trying to meet every professional and personal responsibility. Moving into wellness did not mean leaving my career experience behind. All of it helped define who I am now. It gave me an opportunity to use it differently.
Today, I can see the connection between the different parts of my career. Whether I am helping an organization address an operational challenge or helping someone find a moment of calm, my work begins in the same place. I observe. I listen. I ask questions. I try to understand what is genuinely needed rather than assuming the same solution will work for everyone.
Young women receive a great deal of advice about how to present themselves, how to advance, and what success should look like. Before allowing that advice to influence your decisions, take the time to know yourself. Understand your values, recognize your strengths, and consider what success genuinely means to you. Without that foundation, it is easy to be guided by someone else’s expectations and lose sight of your own path.
When you know who you are, you can decide which advice supports your growth and which advice is not meant for you.
You will meet people who do not understand your choices. You may work in places where your values are tested. You may outgrow a role that once felt right. Those experiences do not necessarily mean you are on the wrong path. Sometimes they are helping you become clearer about who you are.
Being authentic does not mean refusing to change. Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, we may need to release a comfortable and familiar version of ourselves to grow into who we are becoming. Transformation does not erase who we are. It allows us to become more of our true selves.
The values my parents gave me continue to guide how I live and lead. Looking back, I realize that trying to fit into someone else’s mold only delays finding where you truly belong. When you remain grounded in who you are, you make room for the people and opportunities that genuinely belong in your life.
Carry that self-knowledge with you. Know your values and what you are passionate about. Recognize your strengths, and be honest about where you still need to grow. Notice what gives you energy and what consistently takes it away. Ask questions when something is unclear. Trust yourself when an opportunity feels right and when you know it is time to choose a different direction.
Trust your capabilities. Embrace the discomfort that comes with growth. Stay grounded in your values.
Be you. The right people will find you.
