Becoming the Leader I Once Needed: Leading with Empathy, Courage, and Purpose
How Empathy, Authenticity, and Purpose Redefine Modern Leadership
Becoming the Leader I Once Needed
Success rarely looks like a straight line.
Behind every title, promotion, accomplishment, and professional milestone are chapters that rarely make it onto a résumé—the moments of uncertainty, rejection, difficult decisions, self-doubt, sacrifice, and growth that ultimately shape who we become.
My journey into leadership has been no different.
Today, as a Director of Operations, I have the privilege of leading people, developing teams, strengthening organizations, improving operations, and helping create environments where both employees and businesses can thrive. But when I think about what has shaped me most as a leader, I don't immediately think about metrics, budgets, organizational growth, or professional titles.
I think about people.
I think about the leaders who believed in me. I think about the leaders who challenged me. And perhaps just as importantly, I think about the experiences that taught me exactly what kind of leader I never wanted to become.
Those experiences ultimately gave me one of the greatest purposes of my career:
To become the leader I once needed.
Leadership Is About More Than Results
I have spent much of my career in healthcare operations, where performance matters. We measure productivity, financial outcomes, patient experience, operational efficiency, employee performance, growth, and countless other indicators.
I believe deeply in accountability and results.
But I also believe how we achieve those results matters.
There is a misconception that empathy makes leaders less effective or that compassion somehow lowers expectations. My experience has taught me the opposite.
You can hold someone accountable and still respect them.
You can make difficult business decisions and still recognize the human beings affected by them.
You can expect excellence without creating fear.
You can lead with compassion without compromising performance.
Some of the strongest organizations are built by leaders who understand that their people are not simply resources on an organizational chart. They are individuals with ambitions, families, challenges, ideas, and tremendous potential.
When people feel respected, supported, challenged, and connected to a greater purpose, extraordinary things can happen.
That is the type of environment I want to create wherever I lead.
Know Your Worth, Especially When It Is Uncomfortable
One of the most important lessons I have learned throughout my career is that your value cannot be determined by one position, organization, leader, or moment in your life.
There will be times when someone does not recognize what you bring to the table.
There will be opportunities you do not receive.
There will be rooms where you question whether you belong.
There may even be seasons when you question yourself.
Those moments can either convince you to become smaller or challenge you to discover just how capable you truly are.
I chose the latter.
Women, in particular, can sometimes feel pressure to wait until we are completely qualified before pursuing an opportunity. We may hesitate before negotiating compensation, speaking confidently about our accomplishments, challenging an idea, or asking for the next opportunity.
I want women to understand that confidence does not mean believing you know everything.
Confidence means trusting yourself enough to know you can learn what you don't.
Apply for the position.
Ask the question.
Negotiate your worth.
Speak in the meeting.
Take the seat at the table.
And when necessary, build your own table.
Your Career Should Never Cost You Yourself
Ambition is powerful. I am ambitious, and I am proud of it.
I want to continue growing, learning, leading, and making an impact. But experience has also taught me that professional success should not require us to completely sacrifice ourselves in order to achieve it.
Burnout should not be a badge of honor.
Constant exhaustion is not evidence of commitment.
And an impressive title means very little if you have lost your peace, your values, or your connection to the people who matter most.
There are seasons when our careers require tremendous effort and sacrifice. Leadership carries responsibility, and there will always be difficult days. But there is a difference between being challenged by your work and being consumed by it.
I believe the next generation of leaders has an opportunity to redefine what successful leadership looks like.
We can build organizations that perform exceptionally without normalizing unhealthy environments.
We can create accountability without fear.
We can pursue growth without forgetting humanity.
And we can be ambitious while still protecting the lives we have worked so hard to build.
Family Changed My Definition of Success
My family is one of the greatest sources of motivation behind everything I do.
As my career has evolved, so has my definition of success.
Of course, I am proud of professional accomplishments. I am proud of my education, the organizations I have helped strengthen, the operations I have built, the teams I have developed, and every opportunity that required me to stretch beyond what I thought I could do.
But I also think about what my journey teaches my children.
I want them to understand that their lives do not have to follow a perfect path to become something extraordinary.
I want them to see that you can experience setbacks and still succeed.
You can change direction.
You can begin again.
You can outgrow environments.
You can make mistakes and learn from them.
You can experience moments that shake your confidence and still rediscover your voice.
Most importantly, I want them to know that they are the authors of their own stories.
The world will have opinions about who they should become. Other people may attempt to define their capabilities or place limitations on their dreams.
But ultimately, the pen belongs to them.
That is the legacy I care about most.
Women Need Women Who Open Doors
As I continue growing as a leader, I feel an increasing responsibility to help other women grow alongside me.
Leadership should never be about being the only woman who made it into the room.
It should be about asking, "Who can I bring into this room next?"
Mentorship matters.
Representation matters.
Encouragement matters.
Sometimes a person's entire trajectory can change because one leader recognized something in them they had not yet recognized in themselves.
I am that leader.
I want women earlier in their careers to know they do not have to choose between being strong and compassionate. They do not have to silence themselves to make other people comfortable. They do not have to have every answer before pursuing leadership.
Learn the business. Become exceptional at what you do. Understand the numbers. Develop emotional intelligence. Ask questions. Find mentors. Accept constructive feedback. Admit when you are wrong. Continue educating yourself.
But through all of it, remain authentically you.
The qualities that make you different may eventually become the qualities that make you an exceptional leader.
Keep Writing Your Story
If there is one message I hope another woman takes from my journey, it is this:
Do not allow one difficult chapter to convince you that you have reached the end of your story.
Some chapters will celebrate you.
Others will challenge you.
Some will introduce incredible people into your life, while others will teach you when it is time to walk away.
There will be chapters you never would have chosen for yourself that ultimately become responsible for tremendous growth.
Keep writing anyway.
I am still writing mine.
I still have goals I want to accomplish, people I want to impact, organizations I want to transform, and rooms I have yet to enter.
But I no longer measure success solely by how far I can climb.
I measure it by how authentically I live, how courageously I pursue what is next, how deeply I love my family, how many people I help develop, and whether the people who encounter my leadership leave believing a little more strongly in themselves.
Titles will change.
Organizations will change.
Careers will evolve.
But the impact we leave on people can remain long after we have moved on.
So I will continue doing what I have committed myself to doing throughout my journey:
Lead with empathy. Operate with purpose. Know my worth. Open doors for others. And become the leader I once needed.
- Gina Felix, MBA
Director of Operations
