Do It Scared
Why waiting for confidence is keeping you from the opportunities that will change your life.
Do It Scared
When I was younger, I was obsessed with video production. I wanted to build a career around it, even though I had no clear path for how to get there.
At 19, I moved to Utah and took a customer service job. It had nothing to do with what I actually wanted to do, but it was a starting point, and at the time, that felt like enough. I told myself I would figure it out eventually.
About a year later, an internal position opened up for an Instructional Designer, and it required video experience. On paper, it looked like an opportunity that aligned with what I loved. But the moment I considered it, all the reasons I shouldn’t apply started running through my mind.
I had zero background in instructional design. I had no formal training, no degree in it, and no real understanding of what the role even involved. My only formal education was an associate’s degree from a local community college, which I completed while still in high school through a Running Start program.
The job looked great on paper—but what if I didn’t?
I told myself I was too young. That I was too inexperienced. That there were people far more qualified, educated, and tenured than I was.
It felt like all the reasons I could fail were pushing the door shut, but something in me could still see a sliver of opportunity. I realized I was closing the door before I had even tried to walk through it. All I had to do was take the next step, even if I did not know where it would lead.
One day during a company meeting, I noticed someone get up and walk out into the hallway. For some reason, I had a small, almost irrational thought that he might be the hiring manager for that role.
In that moment, I had a decision to make. I could take a chance and talk to him, risking that I had the wrong person, that I would say the wrong thing, or that I would be inconveniencing him. Or I could stay in my seat and spend the rest of the day wondering what might have happened if I had done something.
So I stood up and walked out into the hallway. I figured if it was him, he would turn around when I called his name. If not, I would simply go back to the meeting and no one would think twice about it.
“Kent!”
My voice echoed down the long, empty hallway as my heart pounded.
He turned.
I introduced myself, and suddenly we were interviewing there in the hallway. The next day, he offered me the job.
Kent became my mentor over the next several years, teaching me everything he knew about instructional design.
The truth is, I was not prepared for that role. Not even close. But I had something that mattered more in that moment: a determination to work hard until I figured it out, even though I was scared.
That one decision changed the trajectory of my entire career. It set me years ahead of where I would have been if I had waited until I felt ready.
It is the same mindset that allowed me to step into rooms I once thought were out of reach. I went on to consult for a private equity firm managing over $14 billion in assets, traveling across the U.S. to develop training for CEOs across its portfolio. I now lead a team of instructional designers at a multi-billion-dollar construction company.
At the same time, I built a creative career that expanded far beyond anything I originally thought possible.
I have directed award-winning films and music videos, worked as a celebrity photographer, and ultimately stepped into directing my first feature film before I turned 30.
None of that came from waiting until I felt ready. It came from being willing to step forward before I did.
I chose to do it scared.
The Hesitation
We, as women, are far more likely to wait until we feel fully qualified before we go after something. Studies have shown that men are much more likely to apply for a role when they meet only a portion of the qualifications, while we tend to wait until we feel we meet nearly all of them. A widely cited internal report from Hewlett-Packard, later discussed in Harvard Business Review, found that men often apply when they meet around 60% of the qualifications, while women tend to apply only when they feel they meet 100%.
Women apply to fewer roles but are more likely to get hired when they do apply. We are not underqualified. We are often overqualified by the time we finally raise our hand.
We are more likely to filter ourselves out before anyone else ever has the chance to evaluate us. We read job descriptions as requirements we must meet. We assume we should wait until we are ready. We hold ourselves to a higher standard before stepping forward, waiting until we feel certain about the entire path instead of trusting the next step in front of us.
And this pattern often starts long before our careers.
In early school years, studies show boys are more likely to raise their hands even when they are unsure of the answer, willing to take a guess and figure it out as they go. Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to wait until they feel confident they have the right answer before speaking up.
Why We Listen to Those Voices
The hesitation is not a lack of ambition or ability. It is often the result of caring deeply about doing things well.
We, as women, are more likely to think through the consequences. We want to do a good job, earn our place, and make sure that when we step into something, we can truly deliver. Because of that, the internal dialogue sounds reasonable.
We tell ourselves that we need more experience, that we should wait until we know more, and that we want to be certain we can do it well before taking the next step.
But if we pause and look a little deeper, we have to ask ourselves a harder question: Is it possible that this is fear disguised as responsibility? Is our hesitation really about being prepared, or is it rooted in a desire to avoid failure, avoid judgment, and avoid the discomfort of not having all the answers?
For many of us, myself included, there is also an added layer. I have felt this firsthand when stepping into something new, especially in spaces where women are underrepresented. The stakes can feel higher, and it can feel like our performance will be more visible, more scrutinized, and more defining. The fear is not just about getting it wrong, but about what getting it wrong might say about us.
As a result, we put more pressure on ourselves to be prepared, certain, polished, and ready before we begin—and that pressure quietly reinforces the instinct to wait until we are no longer scared.
The Truth About “Feeling Ready”
The problem is that almost no one feels confident when they step into something new.
That includes the women you look up to, the women leading teams and organizations, and the women you see succeeding around you every day. Many of them are carrying the same thoughts, questioning themselves, aware of the pressure, and feeling the weight of visibility.
I am not immune to that feeling. Every time I step into something new, the same thoughts show up—the imposter syndrome, the anxiety, the pressure, the pit in my stomach that comes with moving into unfamiliar territory.
I have seen this firsthand in the women I work with, including my own boss in a senior leadership role and her boss, a C-suite executive. These are strong, capable women I deeply admire—the kind of leaders who show up as fierce doers, motivators, and mentors. They seem to have it all figured out. They have answers and clarity to offer when I need them, and they operate with a level of execution that challenges me to grow and elevate my own work.
And yet, they have been intentional about sharing something important with me:
They do not always feel 100% certain either.
They are still figuring things out as they go, and they are not ashamed of that. They understand that this is not a weakness, but a natural part of growth.
Research reinforces this more than we might expect. A study from KPMG found that 75% of women in executive roles have experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their careers. These are women leading companies, making major decisions, and operating at the highest levels, and yet many of them have still had moments where they questioned whether they were fully qualified or truly belonged.
Other research shows that around 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point, with women consistently reporting it at higher levels.
So when we look at successful women and assume they must feel completely confident and certain—and that we cannot take the next step until we feel the same—we are confusing confidence with action. The research tells us they likely chose to move forward before they had it.
They did not wait until they felt fully ready. They stepped into those roles before they had complete confidence and built that confidence through experience. They were willing to grow into it, even when it meant being uncomfortable along the way.
Feeling unprepared is not a sign that you should stop. It is often a sign that you are growing. That feeling of being slightly out of place does not mean you do not belong. In reality, it means you are stepping into something that is expanding you.
Growth rarely feels comfortable, and it almost never feels certain.
So we move forward anyway.
Confidence Comes From Action
We tend to believe that confidence should come before action, especially because we have been conditioned to feel like we need to be ready before we step forward. But in reality, it works the other way around.
Confidence is built through experience. It comes from taking action, navigating challenges, and proving to yourself that you are capable. Each time we step into something new and figure it out along the way, we create evidence that we can handle more than we thought.
This is where so many of us get stuck. We wait for confidence as a signal to begin, when in reality, confidence is the result of beginning.
You do not think your way into confidence. You act your way into it.
Over time, those actions compound. Each step forward builds capability, and each experience reinforces that confidence. The path becomes clearer—not because you waited, but because you moved.
Do It Scared
If I had waited until I felt ready, I would still be waiting.
That moment in the hallway could have easily passed, and I could have stayed in my seat, convincing myself that I needed more experience before taking a step forward.
Instead, I chose to act—and that decision changed everything.
That uncomfortable feeling has followed me into every new level of growth. As I have stepped into bigger opportunities, I have also stepped into greater uncertainty. Each new opportunity has stretched me in new ways, and with that stretch comes the same discomfort, the same uncertainty, and the same voice asking if I am ready.
When I stepped into directing my first feature film, I felt the same doubts, the same questions, and the same awareness of everything I did not yet know. The scale was bigger, the stakes felt higher, and more people were counting on me—but the lesson was the same.
There is no point where you arrive and suddenly feel completely ready. There is only the decision to keep stepping forward as you grow into what comes next.
You do not become ready and then step into something big. You step into something big, and in the process, you become ready.
That does not mean preparation does not matter—because it does. You should learn everything you can, gain as much experience as you can, and put in the time to build your skills. But do not confuse preparation with permission.
If you wait until you feel completely ready, you will wait too long.
So take a moment and ask yourself honestly: What is the step you’re scared to take right now? And what is actually holding you back?
Is it truly a lack of ability, or is it the pressure to have everything mastered before you begin?
You do not need to meet every qualification before you take the first step. You need to understand what you already bring to the table and be willing to lead with it. Lean into your strengths, expand what you are already good at, and trust that you will build the rest as you go.
You are allowed to be excellent and still be in progress at the same time.
So instead of waiting for confidence, for certainty, or for the perfect moment, be willing to take the step in front of you and trust that you will rise to meet it—even if you cannot yet see where the path leads.
Because one day, you will turn around and be surprised by how far you’ve come.
You’ve already made it this far, and you are more capable than you think.
You can do it scared.
