Doing it scared: How to cope with and overcome doubt and anxiety in the professional workplace
Embracing Fear and Taking Action: Why Success Requires Doing It Scared
Something I do not think enough professionals discuss when presenting to students and mentees is how intimidating the real world can feel.
As someone who has attended many motivational and inspirational presentations, I often pick up on a few underlying messages:
- A complete brag fest: “I did this, and I did that…”
- “If you work hard enough, you will succeed. If not, work harder. Limited success is a skill issue.”
- “Major sacrifices are required to achieve success.”
Parts of these messages can certainly be meaningful and productive to a degree, but not when they are delivered without grace, honesty, or guidance. Otherwise, students and mentees are left feeling discouraged, inadequate, and underqualified to pursue their dreams in the first place.
In addition to discussing milestones, goals, and accomplishments, leaders need to become more intentional about uplifting others and sharing their success rather than spending an hour glorifying their education, achievements, or awards.
Part of uplifting others involves acknowledging the psychological realities of navigating professional environments. More people struggle with imposter syndrome than many realize. In fact, according to The Good Men Project, over 70% of people experience imposter syndrome in the workplace at some point in their lives.
Without turning every presentation into a group-therapy session, it is time for us to start talking openly about how to move forward while feeling afraid — both at work and at home.
As someone who struggles with intense anxiety, I have had mentors who believed they were helping by encouraging me to step away until I felt ready. The problem was that I was never going to feel completely ready. I was never going to naturally embrace change, uncertainty, or constant adaptation.
Other mentors encouraged me to dig deeper.
Sometimes I could only lean into my faith. Sometimes I had to channel “braver-person energy” and force myself to step outside my small, comfortable bubble. Sometimes all I could do was stare directly at the challenges in front of me without feeling brave enough to overcome them.
Still, those mentors encouraged me to do it scared.
Cry first if necessary — but then do it scared.
Talk through it five times if needed — but then do it scared.
Lean on your support system for guidance and encouragement — but then do it scared.
There are countless things I never would have experienced if I had stayed inside my small, self-made bubble of comfort and predictability.
I would never have spent a summer across the state, and I certainly would never have moved permanently out of state after graduating from college. I would never have gone to college at all. I would never have passed public speaking. I would never have competed as the only winner at a men’s tennis match because our team did not have enough male players that day. I would never have joined a talent show or a spelling bee — even though I never won, which was never really the point.
I would never have met my lifelong best friend or the partner I have happily shared my life with for the past fourteen months. I would never have started a business.
The list goes on and on.
So this is a message to everyone who does not find public speaking easy, who avoids going out after work, or who finds problem-solving emotionally draining and exhausting:
You are not alone.
Success is possible without being an extrovert.
Success is possible without a high GPA.
Success is possible without immediately landing a six-figure salary after graduation.
Success is possible without attending college at all.
Success is possible without having a naturally entrepreneurial personality.
Success is possible even when nepotism is not working in your favor.
Success is possible when you are willing to do things scared.
To do things while inexperienced.
To do things for the very first time.
To share your knowledge with others.
To pursue paths that may not always be understood or accepted by the people you love most.
If your support system constantly reinforces staying inside your comfortable bubble, it may be time to expand that support system.
Of course, it is important to care for yourself and honor your mental and emotional well-being. But we also need people in our lives who challenge us, encourage us, and push us toward becoming the best version of ourselves possible.
I would not be anywhere close to the woman I am today without the sometimes frustrating, but always supportive and constructive, leaders in my life who pushed me to become stronger, wiser, softer, and more capable than I ever imagined I could be.
