Don't Disappear When You Feel Inadequate: Leading When You Don't Have All The Answers
Leadership is showing up when you don't have all the answers.
One sentence from Ted Lasso has been stuck in my head since last night: "Don't disappear when you feel inadequate."
The reason it hit me so hard is that it's the opposite of what most of us instinctively want to do. When we feel uncertain, we pull back. When we don't have the answer, we stay quiet. When we're faced with a difficult decision, we look around the room, hoping someone else will step in.
The longer I've been in leadership roles, the more I've realized that these are the moments when leadership matters most. Not when you have all the answers, but when you don't.
Early in my career, I assumed the leaders around me possessed something I didn't. More certainty. More confidence. More clarity. I would walk into meetings and instinctively look to the executive, the expert, or the person with the most experience. When challenges arose, I expected someone else to provide direction.
Then one day, I found myself in a room facing a difficult decision, waiting for someone to step forward and tell us what to do. Nobody did. Everyone was looking around the room. And eventually, I realized they were looking at me.
What surprised me wasn't the responsibility itself. It was realizing that I still felt many of the same things I had felt years earlier. I didn't have every answer. I wasn't completely certain of the best path forward. I still felt inadequate. And that's when I learned one of the most important lessons about leadership: Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about being willing to show up when you don't.
Anyone can lead when the path is obvious. Anyone can make decisions when the risks are low. Anyone can appear confident when success feels guaranteed. But leadership is truly tested when the answer isn't clear. When the stakes are high. When uncertainty enters the room. When people are looking for direction.
In those moments, it's tempting to disappear. To stay quiet. To defer. To wait for someone else to take the lead. But that's exactly why that quote resonates so deeply with me.
Leadership is not the absence of doubt. It's the willingness to move forward despite it.
The leaders who have had the greatest impact on me throughout my career weren't the ones who always knew the answer. They were the ones who stayed present when the answer wasn't obvious. They listened. They assessed the situation. They made the best decision possible with the information available. And they took ownership of the outcome.
As I've grown in my own leadership journey, especially through complex transformations and periods of significant change, I've realized that teams aren't looking for perfection. They're looking for presence. They're looking for someone willing to navigate ambiguity alongside them. Someone willing to stay in the arena when things get uncomfortable. Someone who won't disappear when things get difficult.
Looking back, one of the biggest transitions in my career wasn't a promotion or a title change. It was realizing that leadership had quietly shifted from something I looked for in others to something others expected from me. And the irony is that this often happens long before you feel ready.
So if you're feeling uncertain, uncomfortable, or inadequate in a leadership role right now... don't disappear.
Your team doesn't need you to have all the answers. They need you to show up.
