Finding selfworth beyond the storm
A powerful journey from survival and shame to strength, advocacy, and discovering self-worth through compassion.
Finding Self-Worth Beyond the Storm
By Samantha Hintz
A Mother, an Advocate, and a Work in Progress
The Storm (My Story)
I want to share my unique story with you. Through weathering my own struggles—the storms throughout my life—I have been working toward creating a better situation for myself and my family.
To be honest, I wasn't sure where to begin when telling my story. As a little girl, a teenager, and now as a mother of four, I have always been extremely sensitive. While sensitivity can be a beautiful quality, it has also made everyday life a significant challenge for me in ways that many people may not understand.
Even my own family does not always know how deeply it affects me.
Right out of high school, a teacher told me that I would never make it in college. Those words stayed with me for years. I never went to college, and I became a young mother at the age of 19. My son, who is now 27 and a father himself, became my greatest inspiration and my reason to keep going.
Throughout my life, I have experienced depression, abuse, and deep emotional trauma. My life became a cycle of survival. I faced repeated hardships, including emotional and other forms of abuse, and each day often felt like another mountain to climb.
There is still much that I keep to myself and do not talk about.
At one point, my five-year-old son and I traveled between states while experiencing homelessness, with no money and no clear idea of where we would go next.
I found myself in some of the darkest moments of my life, unsure of where to turn or how to ask for help. When I needed support the most, I was too ashamed to reach out to my family, so I carried the weight alone.
I am incredibly grateful for everything I have today, but life can still feel uncertain at times.
After my youngest son was born, I experienced severe depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, and migraines. It felt as though no one understood what I was going through. I learned to put on a front and hide my pain. I shut out people who needed me because I did not know how to be present for them while struggling to survive myself.
For many years, I avoided talking about my feelings because I feared breaking down. I felt like I had to be the strong one for my family—or at least try to be.
Facing the Judgment
Struggling with my emotions created challenges in my relationships and often led to a domino effect of other difficulties.
People do not always understand what someone else is experiencing. They may never fully understand how hard it can be just to function, survive, and fight battles within your own mind.
For a long time, I did not understand it either.
I would ask myself:
Why do I break down and cry?
Why am I constantly hurting and exhausted?
Why am I depressed when I have beautiful children and a loving family?
What right do I have to feel this way?
The answer is simple:
Because we are human.
I should not have been judged, especially by the people closest to me—the people I believed would always have my back.
I heard the comments:
"Why does she want to be with him?"
"Why is she still crying over a breakup?"
"Can she really handle it, or is she just going to break down?"
"Why is she always exhausted? Why doesn't she have the energy to do basic tasks? Is she just being lazy?"
Those words hurt because they came from people who did not see the battle I was fighting internally.
Then there were the relationships I experienced. Not every person in my life treated me this way, but some struggled to understand my emotional challenges. They saw my depression as a sign that I did not care or did not love them.
The truth was different.
When I became overwhelmed, I would pull away, shut down, and build walls because I was trying to function day by day.
Every person I have loved holds a special place in my heart. Even through difficult times, I stayed because I wanted my family to remain together. I wanted things to work.
Eventually, I turned to unhealthy ways of coping with my pain. Instead of seeking the help I needed, I made choices that contributed to losing my family.
I recognize my own mistakes. Relationships involve responsibility from both people, and I know I am not perfect.
But neither is anyone else.
The Turning Point (Finding the Fire)
For five years, I did not work. After being denied disability benefits, I applied for a position at the Women's Action Resource Center, working in a women's shelter.
During my interview, I decided to be completely honest about my illnesses and struggles. I prepared myself for rejection.
Instead, I heard something that changed my life.
They told me:
"You were meant to be here."
No one had ever said anything like that to me before.
And they were right.
Before that job, I barely left my home. I was living day by day, feeling worthless and disconnected from the world around me. I lived in a small town where I hardly knew anyone. I rarely went outside or had places to go.
That kind of isolation takes a toll on a person.
But that moment of validation sparked something inside me.
I pushed myself to complete the required training, and in 2017, I became certified as a Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Advocate. I continue this work today.
I transformed from someone who felt broken into someone who began recognizing her own strength and self-worth.
A director once shared something with me that changed how I viewed myself:
My emotions are not a weakness. They show that I have empathy, compassion, and a genuine heart. Sometimes people need to see emotion to know that someone truly cares.
A Call to My Fellow Warriors
It takes courage and strength to sit down and share the raw truth of your life.
People define strength in different ways. I believe it is time we stop viewing hurting women as broken, helpless, or incapable.
Instead, we need to show up for one another with honesty, compassion, and understanding.
We need to look at ourselves, recognize where judgment exists, and choose to lift others up rather than tear them down. Sometimes people judge without realizing the impact their words have.
I have discovered a fire inside me to help women because I know everyone carries their own struggles. Every person's journey is different, and every person's pain deserves compassion.
My passion has become helping women discover their inner warrior so they can learn to advocate for themselves.
My children inspire me to make the world a better place, one person at a time.
Because of everything I have experienced, I have become resilient. I am now my own advocate—still learning, still growing, and still taking life one step at a time.
I want to continue learning, speaking louder, and showing the world what women are capable of.
I deeply appreciate those who encourage women to share their stories and those who take the time to truly listen.
Deep down, I know this is my calling.
I still have much to learn, but I also know I have an opportunity to help women strengthen their self-worth, confidence, and belief in themselves.
If I can help even one woman find her direction and rise beyond her storm to discover the success she deserves, every challenge I have faced will have been worth it.
So, if you are reading this and you are ready to find your inner warrior, join me.
Let's fight for your passion, your self-worth, and your spirit—one step at a time.
You can do this.
You can get through your storm, just as I am continuing to get through mine.
Together, we can rise.
I want women to know that there are organizations and resources available to help. When I was a young mother, I did not know these resources existed. That is why I encourage every woman who is struggling to reach out.
Please seek support in your community, contact a domestic violence hotline, or reach out to a crisis resource if you need help.
You are not alone.
You are worthy.
You are stronger than your storm.
Samantha Hintz
