Have You Checked on Yourself Lately?

A lot of people are used to saying, “I’m fine,” even when they know they are not fine. Sometimes it is easier to say that than to explain everything that is going on. Sometimes you may not even know how to explain it. You just know you are tired, irritated, overwhelmed, or not feeling like yourself.

October is Emotional Wellness Month, and it is a good reminder that we need to pay attention to ourselves. Emotional wellness does not mean being happy every day. That is not realistic. We are going to have bad days. We are going to get upset, frustrated, disappointed, and tired.

The problem comes when we keep pushing those feelings to the side and never deal with them.

Sometimes, you can tell that something is off because your patience is shorter. Little things start bothering you more than usual. You may stop answering the phone because you do not feel like talking. You may be tired but still cannot sleep because your mind keeps going. You may even start putting off things that you normally handle without a problem.

That does not always mean something serious is wrong. It may simply mean you need to slow down and pay attention to what your mind and body are telling you.

Working in mental health, I have seen people wait until they are completely overwhelmed before asking for help. They may feel like their problem is not bad enough, or they may believe they should be able to handle it on their own.

But everything does not have to become a crisis before you do something about it.

You can talk to someone when you first notice that you are not feeling like yourself. You can make an appointment with a therapist even if you are not sure what is wrong. You can tell your doctor that you have been tired, stressed, sad, or having trouble sleeping. You do not have to have all the right words. Just start with what you know.

It is also okay to take a break. Some people feel guilty about resting because there is always something else that needs to be done. The laundry will be there. The phone calls will be there. Other people’s problems will still be there. Sometimes, you need to sit down and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Checking on yourself may mean asking a few simple questions:

• How have I been feeling lately?
• Am I getting enough rest?
• Have I been more irritated or emotional than usual?
• Am I avoiding people?
• Is there something bothering me that I have not talked about?
• Do I need help?

Be honest with yourself. Nobody else even has to know the answers right away. The important thing is that you know.

Taking care of your emotional wellness does not have to be complicated. It may mean getting more rest, spending some quiet time alone, setting a boundary, praying, taking a walk, or talking with someone you trust. It may also mean getting professional help.

The main thing is not to ignore yourself while you are busy taking care of everything and everybody else.

Before this month ends, take a few minutes and check on yourself. If you are doing well, that is good. If you are not doing well, be honest about that too. You do not have to wait until you fall apart to ask for help.

Resources

Mental Health America offers free and confidential mental health screenings at screening.mhanational.org. The screening is not a diagnosis, but it can help you decide whether you may need additional support.

The NAMI HelpLine provides mental health information and support. Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text NAMI to 62640, Monday through Friday, from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Eastern Time.

If you are experiencing a mental health or substance-use crisis, call or text 988.