How to Not Communicate with a Woman with ADHD and Multiple Enterprises

Effective communication is something we often say is lacking in relationships—whether with a spouse, at work, or with friends and children. The issue is not just how much you communicate; it is how you communicate. Often, women like me have ideas in our heads and assume we have communicated them clearly, or we expect others to read our minds through body language, which is also a form of communication.

But let’s be real: these days, people lack the genuine human connection we used to have. Kids even call it “IRL” (in real life). Much of our communication today is non-emotional, relying on text messages and emails.

I’m not a phone person. You know what I do? I voice-text long messages or send voice notes to friends and my husband, who rarely listens because he thinks it’s unnecessary. He’ll say he’s calling, and I’m like, “No, dude, I don’t want to talk because I’m at work. I don’t want to talk because I’m driving home. I don’t want to talk because I’m busy with one of my business ventures.”

I often offend people because I communicate in ways that feel sufficient to me, but I haven’t always learned how to communicate effectively with them. Knowing how not to communicate happens when there is no human connection or when the message is not delivered in a way others can receive it. We are taught various forms of communication, including cultural interaction. What might seem offensive in my culture may not be offensive in yours.

Barriers to Communication

Hand gestures can also be a barrier. Someone might talk with their hands, and instead of actively listening, you become distracted by their movements. Text messages can also be a barrier; while many people rely on texts for information, many others need a phone call for clarity. Think about why we sit through automated AI customer service lines. We read the website and still don’t understand it, so we end up wanting to speak to a real person.

Additionally, language differences and slang can create misunderstandings. Different forms of English and variations in expression can further complicate communication.

Communicating with ADHD

How do I communicate with someone who has ADHD? As someone diagnosed with ADHD myself, I know I am often not as subtle as those without the same challenges. I have been able to build multiple entrepreneurial ventures and have served in the U.S. Navy for over 20 years. ADHD is not a negative thing; it is simply part of who I am. I was diagnosed later in life, but I have always known I experienced it.

As a wife, if I do not sit down for a heart-to-heart conversation without distractions, I risk not communicating effectively. Everyone is often distracted. To truly communicate, you have to figure out how to connect with the individual in front of you. You will discover how not to communicate with them when you fail to take that step.