It Starts with Being Kind

My husband and I see coworkers a little differently. For him, work is work, and coworkers don’t have to become friends. I get that—we’re there to do a job. But I’ve always been the person who wants to say hello, learn a name, and get to know the person sitting nearby.

I come by it honestly. My mother was a social butterfly, and I inherited her “gift of gab.” A quick trip to the grocery store or department store could turn into a conversation about someone’s whole life, children and grandchildren included. I’m not quite that chatty, but give me a choice between sitting in silence and talking with someone new, and I’ll usually start a conversation. Maybe being a mom of two grown kids and a former teacher has something to do with it. Whatever the reason, I’ve come to think of myself as The Office Buddy.

Remember your first day at a new job? You’re trying to learn names, find your way around, and figure out how everything works—all at once. That feeling doesn’t necessarily go away after the first week. I had a head start: the friend who recruited me is also my supervisor, and people made a point of coming over to welcome me. I felt comfortable from day one, but I still remember how much there was to take in.

One coworker in particular helped me find my feet. She retired not long after I started, but I still remember how she spent most of that first day with me. She gave me a tour, introduced me to people, and walked me through HR tasks, company software, email, Teams—all the little things that feel so big when you’re new. She didn’t have to take that time. She did it patiently and kindly, and I’ve never forgotten it. She is a mom and a grandmother, and I could feel the care she brought to that welcome.

That day made me want to be that person for the next newcomer. I know an office can call itself “a family” without feeling anything like one. I’m grateful ours is different. We’re a close group: we trust each other, rely on each other, and look out for each other. Why make someone wait weeks to feel part of it if a friendly welcome can help on day one?

So I tell new coworkers, “Stop by my desk or send me a Teams message if you have a question.” If an office event comes up before they’ve heard about it, I make sure they know they’re invited. Sometimes I just check in and ask how things are going. These are small gestures, and they aren’t in my job description. But someone made that space for me when I was new, and I want to keep paying it forward for as long as I’m here—hopefully until retirement.

You don’t have to become friends with every coworker to make their day a little easier. Say hello. Answer a question. Let someone know they’re included. I still remember the coworker who did those things for me, and I hope someone new will remember that I did the same for them. It starts with being kind.

Trista Mauller Client Advocate, Hylant Group