My Adverse Childhood Experiences Defined (MACED)
I Was Not Losing My Mind
In 1990, I finally found the courage to leave an abusive marriage. It wasn’t the first time I had tried—there were four or five attempts before—but each time, I was found within 24 hours and dragged back home. Fear kept me tethered.
This time was different.
This time, I found my voice.
This time, I stood my ground.
This time, I refused to return.
This time, I tuned out the voices—like my minister—who insisted that as a Christian woman, I had no right to leave.
This time, I listened only to the voice within. And it said, “This is the time to leave.”
It was mid-November, just before Thanksgiving, and I was profoundly thankful—for God’s protection over my life and my children’s lives.
Over the following decades, my health began to decline. By 1992, I had a total hysterectomy. By 1994, at age 40, my vision blurred, and I needed bifocals. Between 1976 and 1996, I had been in 12 rear-end car accidents—twelve. In 1996, I underwent my first major back surgery, followed by relentless, widespread pain. Doctors dismissed it; some said it was “all in my head.”
In 2000, a female doctor finally named it: fibromyalgia. Subsequent diagnoses included high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, colon issues, migraines, and more. Surgeries followed: lumbar back surgery in 2014, rotator cuff surgery in 2017, gall bladder removal in 2020, and an appendectomy in 2022. Every day, my body hurts.
By 2019, clarity arrived.
While preparing for my role as an abuse recovery coach, I encountered the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACEs), conducted by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente between 1995 and 1997. This landmark research examined the long-term effects of childhood trauma on adult health and well-being. Reading the findings, I saw myself reflected in the data.
What Are ACEs?
The ACE study surveyed over 17,000 participants about their childhood experiences and current health. ACEs are grouped into three main categories: abuse, neglect, and household challenges.
Abuse
- Emotional abuse: Being insulted, sworn at, or put down by a parent or adult in the home.
- Physical abuse: Being pushed, grabbed, slapped, hit, or injured by a parent or adult in the home.
- Sexual abuse: Sexual touching, forced sexual contact, or attempted intercourse by an adult or significantly older person.
Household Challenges
- Mother treated violently
- Substance abuse in the household
- Mental illness in the household
- Parental separation or divorce
- Incarcerated household member
Neglect
- Emotional neglect: Rarely feeling loved, important, or supported.
- Physical neglect: Lacking basic care, food, or medical attention; parents unable to provide due to substance use or neglect.
Key Findings
- Almost two-thirds of participants reported at least one ACE.
- More than 20% reported three or more ACEs.
- The ACE score sums the categories reported; higher scores correlate with higher risk for physical, mental, and emotional health issues.
- ACEs are more common in populations experiencing social and economic vulnerability.
How ACEs Explained My Journey
The ACE framework brought clarity to my previously confusing health trajectory. Childhood trauma has lasting impacts, shaping adult health, emotional regulation, and resilience. While the experience of trauma is profoundly difficult, understanding its long-term effects is empowering.
Paradoxically, had I not endured these adversities, I might never have developed my deep passion for helping others understand the impact of childhood trauma—and to pursue healing. Recovery is possible, but it requires daily commitment, belief, and action.
My greatest motivation comes from witnessing friends burdened by their own ACEs. One close friend, despite decades of therapy, struggles to see a path forward. She confided that, if not for her daughters, she would have “checked out” long ago. For her—and countless others—I continue to pursue breakthroughs that show healing is achievable and worth believing in every day.
Resources
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
- CDC and Kaiser Permanente ACE Study
