Perpetual Phoenix
Rising from the Ashes: How One Autistic Woman Transformed Setbacks Into Strength and Purpose
If I could be a bird, I would be a perpetual phoenix. Time and time again, I have proved that setbacks, barriers, roadblocks, and rejections are simply redirections, new opportunities, and chances to conquer my fears. As a person with Autism Spectrum Disorder, it is safe to say that disappointment, being told “no,” and relationship challenges have been a norm for me. This world was not designed to accommodate the spectrum of different abilities, needs, and talents.
Dr. Temple Grandin, prominent author, autism advocate, and animal science expert, stated in her 2010 TED Talk, “The world needs all kinds of minds.” If the world relies only on limited variations of minds, we miss out on diversity, opportunities to learn, the ability to overcome adversity, and we risk reinforcing society’s negative perceptions of people with differences.
From adolescence to adulthood, I have experienced many barriers, disappointments, and rejections in jobs, romantic relationships, access to academic scholarships, and special programs. Even in 2026, the world still lacks understanding, acceptance, and empathy for individuals with differences and often fails to accommodate their needs so they can thrive.
Society continues to be influenced by negative perceptions and attitudes, and many people do not think independently for themselves, often out of fear of being outcast, blacklisted, or viewed negatively. Social media, technology, and dating apps are often contributing factors, as people have become heavily dependent on them as primary sources of information.
So, what have I done to rise above all of this—from ashes to a perpetual phoenix? For starters, I removed myself from social media apps, including Facebook, Instagram, and X, as well as dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Match, because it is easy for people to present facades of who they are not online. I removed myself from these platforms to improve my mental health and to distance myself from being vulnerable to disappointment.
I have built a protective wall because, on many days, I feel as though people do not want me to be happy and may try to diminish my success or joy. I struggle with trust. I do want the day to come when I receive an email that says, “Jessica, we would like to hire you,” or when I find a partner who becomes my boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. But it is difficult to remain patient when I feel surrounded by negativity.
It takes a significant toll on my mental health and has contributed to multiple panic attacks. In the past, what I saw on social media led me to assume that others had no problems behind closed doors and that I was always the problem. Some family members have also told me that I am the problem. I do not believe they realize that constant negativity, jokes at my expense, and a lack of confidence in me have also contributed to how I feel.
They have often been overbearing and smothering, which can deeply affect a person’s happiness. My relationships with people are not strong right now because many only “pop in” and out of my life inconsistently. Removing myself from Facebook, X, Instagram, and dating apps was the first step I took to address this instability and protect my mental well-being.
These days, I am either studying for my Pharmacy Technician certification, which I anticipate earning this summer, writing a speech for an upcoming Toastmasters meeting, or brainstorming the next chapter of my book, From Mediocre to Distinguished. Being in Toastmasters for nearly thirteen years has been a way for me to step away from negativity, toxic energy, and people who do not contribute positively to my life. We all need to find a group, family, or community that restores hope and strengthens our optimism about the future, even if it exists outside of our biological family. Not all family relationships are positive or supportive.
This perpetual phoenix continues to thrive in 2026 as a curious lifelong learner, student, and now Distinguished Toastmaster, on her way to becoming an author, podcast host, and continuing her work as an autism advocate, community leader, scholar, mental health advocate, and healthcare professional in the making.
Thank you.
