Positive Climate
Learning to Speak with Kindness: A Mother and Educator's Journey Toward Positive Communication
Some things in my life feel like a daily battle—especially simple tasks like going to the store with three children. Recently, we were at Marshalls shopping. The girls were behaving well, and we were talking and having fun. As we approached the checkout line, the girls kept pointing at things, and while I was at the register, I had to step away to find them. When we left the store, we were already late for prayer. That is when I began telling the girls about the importance of prayer and how it was not nice of them to leave my side in line.
However, I realized later that I was wrong. I should have known that young children cannot be expected to stand in one designated spot for long, and I should not have used the importance of prayer in that tone. Instead, I could have asked the girls to play their favorite hand game while standing next to me in line and reminded them gently to stay close. In this situation, my tone of voice was inappropriate, and there is no excuse for that. As the contract started again, I apologized to the girls and told them they had behaved very well in the store—which they truly had, and I was proud of them.
As the day progressed, everything was fine until the early evening around 6 PM. My middle daughter accidentally woke the baby, and I responded by saying things that were not kind. This incident really shook me. I broke down, grabbed some water, and began reflecting. Sitting on the bathroom floor, I coached myself and realized that I must speak clearly and positively when giving instructions or sharing comments—especially with my family and with my students. In that moment, I restarted the contract again, and the next twenty-four hours went much better.
Having a positive attitude toward life naturally creates a positive climate around you. At first, it seemed easy, but in reality, it was very difficult. I shocked myself by how often I said things without thinking twice. As an educator, I know I need to pay close attention to how I talk to my students. Sometimes remaining silent when a situation is frustrating prevents saying something negative—and silence itself creates a more positive atmosphere. This idea is also taught in Islam. As Abdul Fattah Abu Ghuddah (Ghuddah, 2010) states, “If any Muslim says or does something in the presence of the Prophet (SAW) and the Prophet (SAW) agrees to it by remaining silent or by displaying his pleasure with it, then this is an indication… that the act or speech is permissible” (p. 111).
As a mother, I must be more loving, patient, and caring. Tucker states, “Laughing increases the flow of neurotransmitters that relieve stress, suppress pain, and improve the immune system. Laughter is truly good medicine. Humor can increase learning retention” (p. 85). Sometimes a simple smile can fix everything—whether at home or in the classroom.
This entire experiment helped me realize that there are many ways to communicate more positively. With intentionality, love, and patience, we truly can create a better emotional climate for those around us.
References
Ghuddah, A. F. (2010). Prophet Muhammad (SAW): The Teacher. Karachi: Zam Zam.
Tucker, G. (2002). Ginger Tucker’s First Year Teacher: Participant Notebook. Amarillo, TX: GKT Publishing.
