REALITY IS THE BEST MEDICINE

REALITY IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Brenda Shoshanna

Usually, as we search for happiness, we look for that which gives us pleasure and reject that which we dislike. We immediately judge whatever comes along—an event, person, or experience. I hate this and love that. I will seek and cling to what pleases me and discard what I dislike. This very way of being is, itself, an illness, bringing constant confusion and loss. We inevitably become divided as we reject half of life and ourselves as well. This goes on all day long. From the moment we wake up in the morning until we go to sleep, we are busy rejecting at least half of what life has to offer. Then we wonder why we don't know who we really are or are not in touch with all of ourselves or with life. We wonder why we feel so alone.

Our Suffering Is Caused By Constantly Saying No

We cause our own suffering by constantly judging, rejecting, and refusing our love if a person irritates us. Of course, we may be irritated one moment, but a few moments later, feel different if we are open and patient. How reliable is a feeling that comes one minute and goes the next? Feelings change, as do experiences; something brand new will arrive when we are available to see it.

Feelings Come and Go

To base our actions and hopes upon passing feelings kills relationships with others and with ourselves. No one is given a chance to be all they are, the full person.

As we sit in judgment upon all of life, we seldom stop to ask ourselves, who are we to judge anyone? Who made us judge and jury? Why are we throwing away half of this immense world that has been given to us to care for and love? In order to find joy, stability, and meaning in our lives, we must turn this way of behaving around.

Exercise: Do Not Reject Others. Give All Room to Change and Grow.

When we meet someone noisy, rude, or unpleasant, this is a wonderful opportunity. Rather than push them aside, it is the perfect time to realize that this is only one moment of our encounter, a small portion of the entire truth of who they are. Let that moment be and wait for the next. When we do not reject or react to an upsetting moment, we make space for both the person and ourselves to grow. We are not stuck in a negative moment; it does not define who we are. Just being with another and with ourselves in that manner is an enormous gift and medicine.

To constantly cling to one part of life and reject the other rips us in half. We live in constant fear of something negative appearing and constant longing for what we like. Living this way, how can we be available to that which is truly being given to us, and what is needed from us in return? Only as we live through all moments can we see what is truly here. Only then is discernment possible.

Some of us cannot bear certain behavior. As soon as it appears, we withdraw, become depressed, and may even refuse to face or engage with life. This withdrawal can temporarily provide a false sense of being in control. But, in truth, we are then out of control, unwilling to experience our entire life.

A great Zen teacher, Sosan, warned us about this. He said:

"To separate what you like from what you dislike is the disease of the mind."

The Next Moment Always Brings Something New

As we stay with each moment just as it is, we learn how to thoroughly experience whatever is happening. It is what we add to the moment that turns it into suffering—our complaints, fantasies, and fears. It is what we tell ourselves about what is happening, rather than the direct experience of it. Don't label or define it. Our direct experience is simply an experience, and we can taste it and leave it at that.

Forget About Adding the Labels

Labels hold everything in place and do not allow things to change. Many are labeled bad, sick, crazy, etc. Once an individual is labeled, it is difficult to see them any other way. Instead, we simply see our label of them, and a true meeting with them is lost.

Stop Demanding That Everything Be Different From What It Is

Life arises as it does. It is our demand that it turn out differently that causes our suffering and the suffering we inflict upon others. We demand that everyone love us, no matter who, that we make no mistakes, eat only fine food, stay beautiful forever, and get what we think is our just due. And we refuse sorrow and ugliness. We go to all lengths to secure these illusions and then wonder why we feel trapped in a life without a way out.

The Medicine of Truth

As we practice and develop our clear, loving nature, our spirit, into our lives, the potential for health, clarity, and love matures. We are then able to be aware of the beauty, joy, and wonder of all aspects of life. This experience brings the healing, joy, and fulfillment we all are searching for. Try this wonderful practice, even once. As you do, you will recover a day, or moment, or a relationship that may have been lost to you.

Take a look and see what's actually in your life moment by moment, day by day. Do you welcome it? How do you receive it? Are you fully present for it, even though it may be something you do not want? Can you even find a way to honor it, no matter what comes?

BIO:

Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D., is an award-winning author, speaker, psychologist, and long-term Zen practitioner. Her work integrates the teachings of East and West and focuses upon how to live them in our everyday lives. This article is based upon her new book, SACRED PSYCHOLOGY (An Invitation To Live). www.brendashoshannaauthor@yahoo.com. Brenda offers talks and workshops. topspeaker@yahoo.com. Her YouTube channel is Dr. Brenda Shoshanna @Brendatalks963. She is presently offering a new program, Mitzvahs, Mindfulness and Miracles.