Self-Employment Helped Me Drop My ADHD Mask
How Dropping My ADHD Mask Led to Authentic Success and Self-Acceptance
The choices that scare us the most often lead to a freedom we never knew existed. At least, that is what life showed me when I left my career in professional development to become a self-employed ADHD coach.
The scariest part of this decision was not the financial risk—which is what most people expect. Instead, the scariest part was the thought of finally dropping my ADHD “mask” and letting go of the habits and behaviors I had developed in the workplace.
Masking involves consciously or unconsciously hiding ADHD traits in an effort to appear “normal.” It can look like perfectionism, refusing to ask for help, or taking work home to conceal that it is not getting done during the day.
For me, masking looked like all of those examples, plus a serious case of imposter syndrome.
I lived in fear that at any moment my colleagues would realize I was not a capable adult, but instead an insecure kid pretending to play “office.” I overprepared for meetings. I struggled to recall details. I felt like I was walking a tightrope, trying to balance life with ADHD.
I went above and beyond to appear competent. I made myself “look busy” so my team would believe I was working just as hard as everyone else.
There is a cognitive load associated with constant self-monitoring and comparison to others. It takes tremendous energy to pretend to be someone you are not, and eventually that strain begins to show up physically.
Masking was exhausting.
Things changed once I became my own boss.
Nowadays, I finally feel at home.
I now work with people who experience similar learning and thinking styles. Nobody minds if I need to stretch during a session or if I lose my train of thought. I can bring my whole, authentic self to work—and I love that I can offer others the grace I often struggled to find in traditional workplace environments.
I am no longer internalizing the messages of shame that can be easy to absorb in office culture.
I have let go of the need to “just look normal,” and I am stepping into self-acceptance—and maybe even a little pride.
These days, I am taking ownership of my life and embracing it fully.
I feel more in control of my thoughts and internal dialogue. I stay on task more easily and release the shame tied to ADHD mistakes.
I am becoming my best self—and a stronger entrepreneur.
And all I had to do was drop the mask and move forward.
