The Default Brain
The Invisible Cognitive Load High-Performing Women Carry
If something needs to be remembered, it quietly becomes yours.
The deadline. The follow-up. The emotional shift in the room. The backup plan no one formally assigned but you know needs to exist.
You don’t volunteer for it.
You just don’t trust it will happen otherwise.
At work, you anticipate risk before it surfaces. You connect dots others haven’t named. You smooth tension before it escalates.
At home, it’s different details. Same pattern.
You are not drowning in tasks.
You are drowning in thinking.
High-performing women are praised for competence and anticipation. Over time, competence centralizes cognition. The more capable you are, the more thinking migrates toward you.
Not because others are incapable.
Because you’ve proven you will carry it well.
The exhaustion isn’t about workload. It’s about never being mentally off.
Recalibration doesn’t mean doing less. It means refusing unnecessary cognition. Letting others own the full weight of their decisions. Allowing silence without translating it.
Strength does not require permanent vigilance.
The question isn’t whether you can carry it all.
It’s whether you should.
