The Power of Borrowed Belief
The Power of Borrowed Belief in Shaping Your Future
Sometimes the Person Who Changes Your Life Is the One Who Sees Your Potential Before You Do
When people talk about success, the conversation often focuses on hard work, determination, and perseverance.
Those things matter.
I've relied on all three throughout my life.
But as I look back on my journey, I realize there is another ingredient that doesn't get discussed nearly enough.
Borrowed belief.
Borrowed belief is what happens when someone sees something in you before you can see it in yourself. It's the teacher who recognizes your potential when you're struggling. The mentor who encourages you to take on a challenge you don't think you're ready for. The leader who gives you an opportunity before you've fully convinced yourself that you deserve it.
Sometimes, another person's belief becomes the bridge that carries us until our own confidence catches up.
I've been fortunate enough to experience that more than once in my life.
Working Toward My GED
One of the earliest examples came while I was working toward my GED. At the time, I attended classes during the day and worked nights in the sandwich shop of a local bowling alley. School had always been difficult for me, and for years, I believed that meant I simply wasn't very smart.
Then a volunteer teacher noticed something no one else had ever recognized.
She believed I had dyslexia.
That single observation changed the course of my life.
For the first time, there was an explanation for why learning felt different for me. More importantly, there was someone who looked beyond my struggles and saw capability.
I didn't suddenly become confident overnight. But her belief helped me begin questioning assumptions I had carried for years.
What if I wasn't incapable? What if I simply learned differently?
Sometimes that is all it takes. Not certainty. Not transformation. Just enough belief to consider a different possibility.
Susan and Steve
Years later, I found myself benefiting from borrowed belief again. While working at Sandia National Laboratories, I had the privilege of working for a manager named Susan.
Susan had a remarkable ability to see potential in people and then create opportunities for them to grow into it. She didn't simply assign tasks. She opened doors. She placed me in situations that challenged me, stretched my capabilities, and exposed me to experiences I would never have pursued on my own.
At the time, many of those opportunities felt intimidating. I wasn't always convinced I was ready. Susan often seemed less concerned with whether I felt ready and more focused on whether I was capable.
Looking back, she was usually right.
The confidence we see in people today is often built on opportunities they were brave enough to accept before they felt fully prepared. I was no exception.
Around that same time, I met Steve. Steve represented our regulatory community, but over time, he became far more than a professional contact. He became a mentor and a friend.
Steve challenged me to think differently. He shared knowledge generously, encouraged my growth, and helped me see possibilities I had never considered for myself. The lessons he shared extended far beyond technical expertise.
- He taught me how to think strategically.
- He taught me how to approach problems.
- He taught me how to navigate complex situations.
- And perhaps most importantly, he helped me understand that leadership isn't about knowing everything. It's about continuously learning.
Together, Susan and Steve helped shape the professional I would become. Their influence wasn't limited to the opportunities they provided or the knowledge they shared. Their influence came from believing I could accomplish things I wasn't yet sure I could accomplish myself.
That kind of belief is a gift.
The Confidence We Admire in Others
Over the years, I've come to realize that many successful people carry stories like these. Behind the accomplishments, there is often a teacher, mentor, manager, coach, parent, colleague, or friend who saw something worth investing in. Someone who offered encouragement at exactly the right moment. Someone who opened a door. Someone who believed.
We often think confidence comes first and action follows. In reality, I think the opposite is often true.
- Someone believes in us.
- We take a step.
- We succeed.
- Our confidence grows.
- Then we take another step.
The confidence we admire in others is frequently built one borrowed belief at a time.
How I Think About Leadership Today
That realization has changed how I think about leadership. Today, when I look at the people around me, I try to remember what those individuals did for me.
- I try to look beyond current performance and see potential.
- I try to create opportunities.
- I try to share knowledge.
- I try to encourage growth.
- Most importantly, I try to help people recognize strengths they may not yet see in themselves.
Because the truth is, we rarely know the impact of a few encouraging words. We rarely know what someone is struggling with. We rarely know how close they are to giving up on a dream, a goal, or a possibility.
- A single conversation can change that.
- A single opportunity can change that.
- A single act of belief can change that.
Looking back, I am grateful for every person who invested their time, knowledge, encouragement, and confidence in me. They helped shape my future in ways they may never fully understand. Their belief became the foundation upon which I built my own.
And perhaps that is one of the greatest gifts we can offer another person:
To believe in them long enough for them to learn to believe in themselves.
