Twenty Years, Two Photos, and a Lifetime of Becoming

Twenty years ago, I walked across a stage in my cap and gown with a diploma in my hand, a head full of dreams, and absolutely no idea where life would take me.

Fast-forward to 2026. As I prepared to celebrate my 20-year high school reunion, I found myself looking at two photographs.

One was taken at my high school graduation in 2006.

The other was taken twenty years later, when I was honored with the Michigan Mortgage Lenders Association's Vic Miller Memorial Award for Volunteer of the Year for 2026.

Two photographs. Twenty years apart.

Same girl. Two very different chapters.

Looking at them side by side, I couldn't help but reflect on everything that happened between those two moments. The accomplishments, the setbacks, the relationships, the lessons, and all the little moments that helped shape the woman I am today.

And while there's a noticeable difference in my appearance, the greatest transformation is one you can't actually see.

The Girl I Was and the Woman I've Become

The girl in that graduation photo had dreams, insecurities, and a whole lot to learn about life.

She didn't know what her career would look like, the people she would meet, the challenges she would face, or just how much she would grow along the way.

She certainly didn't know how strong she would eventually become.

Over the last twenty years, I've raised a family, built a career in an industry I genuinely love, discovered a passion for leadership and giving back, and found myself in rooms I never imagined I'd be in.

I've celebrated accomplishments that once felt out of reach, built meaningful relationships, and had the privilege of making a positive impact on the people and communities around me.

But I've also experienced disappointment, self-doubt, unexpected changes, and moments when life didn't exactly go according to plan.

And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that sometimes the chapters we never would have chosen for ourselves end up teaching us the most.

Motherhood: The Beginning of My Greatest Transformation

Of all the roles I've held and titles I've earned over the last twenty years, none has shaped me quite like becoming a mom.

When I became a mother, something shifted in me.

Suddenly, life wasn't just about who I wanted to become. It was about the example I wanted to set for the two little people who would be watching me grow along the way.

I wanted my children to see what hard work looked like. I wanted them to understand the importance of kindness, resilience, and treating people with respect. I wanted them to know that life wouldn't always be easy, but that setbacks didn't have to define them.

And most importantly, I wanted to show up for them.

Not just physically, but emotionally. I wanted to be present, supportive, and someone they could always count on.

But here's something motherhood taught me that I didn't fully understand in the beginning:

If I wanted to raise children who believed in themselves, I had to learn how to believe in myself, too.

I couldn't teach them the importance of self-respect while constantly questioning my own worth. I couldn't encourage them to chase their dreams if I was too afraid to pursue mine.

And I certainly couldn't expect them to embrace their imperfections if I was always criticizing my own.

That realization didn't make me a perfect mother. Far from it.

I've made mistakes, questioned my decisions, and had plenty of moments when I wondered if I was getting any of it right.

But it gave me a reason to keep trying, keep learning, and keep becoming a better version of myself.

Somewhere along the way, the motivation to become better for my children turned into something equally important: learning that I deserved to become better for myself, too.

Motherhood didn't just change my priorities.

It changed my purpose.

And looking back, I can honestly say that so much of the woman I've become started with two of the greatest reasons I've ever had to grow: my children.

The Transformation That Had Nothing to Do With the Scale

When people look at these two photographs, one of the first things they might notice is my physical transformation.

Yes, I've lost weight. Over 100 lbs. I've changed my appearance, developed healthier habits, and become more comfortable in my own skin.

But what you can't see in those photos is the transformation I'm most proud of.

I didn't just lose weight. I gained confidence. I found my voice. And somewhere along the way, I learned to genuinely love and respect the woman looking back at me in the mirror.

That didn't happen overnight.

For years, like so many women, I allowed outside opinions, expectations, and my own insecurities to influence how I saw myself.

I questioned whether I was good enough, capable enough, or deserving of certain opportunities.

Over time, I began to understand something that changed the way I approached both my personal and professional life.

My worth was never determined by a number on a scale, a job title, or someone else's perception of me.

And neither is yours.

Self-love isn't about believing you're perfect. It's about accepting that you're a work in progress while recognizing that you're still worthy of happiness, respect, and opportunity.

It's learning to celebrate yourself without feeling guilty about it.

It's giving yourself grace when things don't go as planned.

And sometimes, it's having the courage to walk into a room, pull up a chair, and recognize that you've earned your place at the table.

Finding My Voice and Redefining Success

When I began my career in the mortgage industry, I never imagined how much it would shape me beyond my professional skills.

What started as a job grew into a career I love, and eventually into a passion for leadership, mentorship, and giving back.

Through my involvement with the Michigan Mortgage Lenders Association, I've had opportunities to connect with incredible professionals, organize educational events, support industry initiatives, and serve as President of the Southeast Chapter.

Receiving the Vic Miller Memorial Award was an incredibly meaningful moment for me.

Not simply because of the recognition, but because it represented something I've come to believe wholeheartedly:

Success isn't just about what you accomplish. It's about the impact you have on the people around you while you're accomplishing it.

I used to think success meant reaching a certain position, earning a particular title, or achieving the next milestone.

Today, my definition looks a little different.

Success is helping someone else recognize their potential. It's creating opportunities for connection, sharing knowledge, encouraging others, and being the kind of person who makes people feel valued.

It's also having the courage to pursue something new, even when you don't have all the answers.

I've learned that leadership doesn't always begin with a title. Sometimes, it begins with simply showing up, raising your hand, and being willing to make a difference.

And perhaps one of the most rewarding parts of my own growth has been realizing that the confidence I've worked so hard to build can now be used to help someone else find theirs.

Some People Are Seasons. Others Are Lifetimes.

Another thing twenty years has taught me is the incredible value of human connection.

People will enter and exit your life. Some will stay for a season; others, for a lifetime.

Some will encourage you, challenge you, and help you see possibilities you couldn't see for yourself. Others will teach you difficult lessons about boundaries, resilience, and knowing your worth.

And while not every relationship is meant to last forever, that doesn't mean it didn't serve a purpose.

I've been fortunate to have mentors, colleagues, friends, and family who have supported me through different chapters of my life.

People who believed in me when I struggled to believe in myself. People who opened doors, offered encouragement, challenged me to grow, and celebrated my successes as though they were their own.

To those people, thank you.

You have helped shape not only the professional I've become but also the woman I am today.

And you've inspired me to extend that same encouragement and support to others.

Because sometimes, something as simple as believing in another person can change the direction of their life.

Learning to Embrace the Next Chapter

Here's something I wish I could tell that eighteen-year-old girl in the graduation photo:

Life isn't going to unfold exactly the way you imagined.

You're going to make mistakes. You're going to experience heartbreak and disappointment. You're going to outgrow people, places, and even versions of yourself.

There will be moments when you have to start over, moments when your confidence is shaken, and moments when you're not entirely sure what comes next.

But you're also going to laugh harder than you imagined, love deeply, build a beautiful life, discover strengths you didn't know you had, and accomplish things that once seemed impossible.

And one day, you'll look back and realize that even the difficult chapters helped you become someone you're proud to be.

At this stage of my life, I'm still learning. Still growing. Still setting goals and figuring out what the next chapter will look like.

And you know what? I'm okay with that.

I've learned that starting over doesn't mean starting from nothing. Every experience, every lesson, and every relationship has given me something to carry into whatever comes next.

The difference today is that I'm no longer waiting for someone else to validate my potential.

I know what I bring to the table.

And I'm excited to discover what else I'm capable of.

To the Woman Who Needs to Hear This

If I could leave you with anything from my twenty-year journey, it would be this:

Don't wait until you've reached a certain weight, earned a promotion, found the perfect relationship, or achieved some imaginary version of success to start loving yourself.

You deserve that love and respect right now.

Take the chance. Apply for the opportunity. Raise your hand. Speak up. Surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you succeed.

Celebrate your progress, even when it feels small.

Give yourself permission to evolve, change direction, and outgrow the expectations you once placed on yourself.

And please, never dim your light to make someone else feel more comfortable.

Twenty years ago, I had no idea who I would become.

I started this journey wanting to become a better woman for my children. Somewhere along the way, I learned I deserved to become that woman for myself, too.

Today, I look at those two photographs with gratitude for the girl who started this journey, compassion for the woman who navigated its challenges, and excitement for the woman I'm still becoming.

Because the greatest transformation wasn't what happened on the outside.

It was finally learning to see the value in the woman I had been all along.

Here's to the Class of 2006, the people who helped shape our journeys, and all the beautiful chapters still waiting to be written.