Two Lanes, One Woman: Leading in Higher Ed While Building a Brand
Why High-Performing Women Don't Have to Choose Between Their Career and Their Dream
There’s a quiet pressure many women carry that rarely gets named out loud: Choose one.
Choose the stable career or the risky dream. Choose professionalism or creativity. Choose the title or the business. Choose the lane that feels “safe” or the lane that feels like you.
For a long time, I tried to manage that pressure with hard work and willpower. I thought the answer was doing more, proving more, staying ten steps ahead so no one could question my commitment. But the truth is, the “choose one” narrative isn’t wisdom—it’s limitation dressed up as advice. For women who are builders by nature, it often creates unnecessary guilt and burnout.
I’m a higher education leader by profession—someone who has spent over two decades in admissions, financial aid, compliance, and academic operations. I understand systems, outcomes, accountability, and the real responsibility that comes with supporting students and institutions. I also happen to be a founder—building a wellness brand born from lived experience, leadership lessons, and the belief that high-performing women deserve tools to reset and sustain themselves.
Two lanes. One woman.
If you’re reading this with a “me too” feeling in your chest—leading in one world while building in another—I want to offer something practical: you don’t need to split yourself in half to be taken seriously. You need a framework that protects your energy, clarifies your priorities, and keeps you moving without losing your identity.
The Myth of Balance (and Why It Keeps Women Stuck)
The word “balance” can sound empowering, but it often becomes a trap. Many women interpret balance as doing everything equally, all the time: equal time, equal effort, equal visibility, equal excellence across every role every day.
That’s not balance. That’s a recipe for exhaustion.
Real balance is seasonal, strategic, and aligned. It’s knowing what matters most right now and giving yourself permission to lead accordingly. The goal isn’t to do everything at once. The goal is to build a life where you don’t abandon yourself while building your responsibilities.
The Two-Lanes Framework: Primary + Secondary
The most helpful shift I’ve made is simple: I stopped trying to run two lives at full speed at the same time. Instead, I operate with two lanes:
Primary lane: the role or mission that gets the majority of my energy in this season
Secondary lane: the role or mission that stays active—but intentionally lighter
This removes guilt. It replaces chaos with clarity.
In some seasons, my primary lane is higher education—especially when institutional timelines tighten, program cycles peak, or student needs are high. In other seasons, my primary lane is my business—especially during key milestones like a launch.
The point isn’t choosing one forever. It’s choosing what leads this season, then adjusting without shame when the season changes.
What This Looks Like Week to Week
A framework only matters if it works in real life. Here’s what I do:
1) Define your “non-negotiables” in both lanes.
Your primary lane gets more time, but your secondary lane still needs traction. Identify the one or two actions that keep each lane moving.
Example:
- Higher-ed lane: key deliverables, stakeholder communication, decisions that move students and programs forward
- Founder lane: product progress, content consistency, community-building
Non-negotiables are not huge—they are consistent.
2) Put your secondary lane on a schedule—not on your nerves.
When your dream lives only in your head, it becomes emotional labor. It follows you everywhere, steals mental peace, and adds guilt. Schedule it. Even if it’s two evenings a week or one Saturday morning block—consistency beats intensity.
3) Create “bridge work” instead of duplicating yourself.
Many women feel fragmented because they think their worlds don’t connect. Look closely—there’s usually a shared theme: your values, your leadership style, your purpose.
Bridge work honors that connection. If you lead teams, you understand people. If you build systems, you understand experience design. If you care about outcomes, you care about impact. Those skills transfer. Allow them to transfer, and you stop performing two identities. You start living one.
The Credibility Fear: “What Will People Think?”
One of the biggest barriers women face isn’t time—it’s perception.
- Will people take me seriously if I’m building a business?
- Will colleagues think I’m distracted?
- Will my expertise be questioned if I show another side of myself?
Here’s the truth: credibility isn’t built by hiding. It’s built by consistency, results, and integrity.
You don’t owe everyone an explanation for your evolution. You owe yourself alignment.
If you show up with excellence in your primary lane, and you build your secondary lane with intention, you are not “less committed.” You are more complete.
A Boundary That Changed Everything
I used to prove my capability by being constantly available—to solve, fix, respond, and carry. Over time, I realized: a life with no boundaries will always demand more than you can sustainably give.
So I built a boundary that felt small but became powerful: I stopped treating rest as a reward and started treating it as a requirement.
When you’re building two lanes, recovery isn’t optional. It’s operational.
That mindset—protecting peace so performance can last—is part of what inspired my founder work. El Tenny™ is a wellness brand rooted in scent-led rituals and intentional self-care, not as a luxury, but as a tool for women navigating high responsibility and real-life transitions. It’s not about escaping life—it’s about meeting life with clarity, calm, and resilience.
What to Do If You’re in the “Messy Middle”
If you’re juggling a full-time role, family responsibilities, and a dream that keeps whispering your name, remember:
- You don’t need more time. You need a clearer season. Decide what is primary for the next 30–90 days. Then commit.
- Small progress is real progress. A brand is built in increments. A book is written in pages. A business grows through consistent steps.
- Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be valid. Some women build loudly. Some build quietly. Both are legitimate.
Your Permission Slip
You can be polished and still be personal.
You can be professional and still be powerful.
You can be credible and still be creative.
You can lead in one room and build in another.
Two lanes doesn’t mean two versions of you. It means one woman honoring her full calling—without shrinking, without apologizing, and without burning out to prove she deserves the dream.
Because the truth is: you were never meant to choose between who you are and what you’re building. You were meant to become the kind of woman who can hold both.
