What Does Your Value Mean to You?
Reclaiming Your Worth: A Journey from External Validation to Self-Definition
What Does Your Value Mean to You?
What does your value mean to you?
It is a simple question, but not always an easy one to answer.
For a long time, value can feel like something that is decided by others—how they treat you, what they say to you, what they choose to give or withhold. And when those experiences are painful, especially at a young age, they can shape how you see yourself in ways that take years to understand.
I have come to realize that value is not something that should ever be placed in someone else’s hands.
Because when it is, it can be ignored, dismissed, or never acknowledged at all.
There were moments in my life where I learned what it felt like to not be protected, to not be heard, and to not be valued in the way every person deserves. I remember being a young girl, trying to make sense of situations no child should ever have to understand. There were dark times—times filled with confusion, silence, and pain.
But even within those moments, there were glimpses of something else. I remember being ten years old, left alone in a hotel room, not understanding where my father was or what was happening. A hotel manager came to check on me. He brought me cereal—something simple, yet meaningful. That night, he and his wife allowed me to stay with them.
They were strangers.
And yet, in that moment, they showed me kindness.
It was a small act, but it stayed with me. Because even in the middle of chaos, there was humanity. There was care. There was proof that not everyone would hurt me.
As time went on, I carried many things I did not yet understand. I carried silence. I carried pain. I carried questions that were never answered.
But something shifts over time.
You begin to see things differently. You begin to separate what was done to you from who you actually are.
And that is where understanding begins.
Just because I am 60 does not mean I have stopped living.
If anything, I have started living with more awareness.
I am experiencing joy in ways I did not always allow myself to before. Even in moments where I have no control over someone else’s accountability, I have learned something important—I do have control over how I move forward.
And that changes everything.
Because when you take the time to truly understand what matters, you begin to let go of what does not. You stop waiting for others to get it right. You stop placing your worth in situations that were never meant to define you.
Instead, you begin to create your own meaning.
Value, to me, is no longer about what I was given or what I did not receive.
It is about what I choose to believe about myself now.
It is about knowing that I am strong—not because of what I went through, but because I chose to keep going.
It is about knowing that I am worthy—not because someone told me I was, but because I understand that I always was.
It is about recognizing my own intelligence, my own voice, and my own ability to create something meaningful in my life.
And most of all, it is about resilience—not as a label, but as a lived experience.
So when I ask the question, “What does your value mean to you?”
I am not asking for a perfect answer.
I am asking you to take a moment and consider something simple, yet powerful:
Are you defining your value…
or are you still allowing others to define it for you?
Because the moment you take that back,
everything begins to change.
