What My Children Taught Me About Leadership
How Parenthood Became My Greatest Leadership Teacher
When people hear the word “leadership,” they often think of executive titles, boardrooms, businesses, or degrees.
I used to think that too.
What I know now is that my first leadership role didn’t come from a business, a classroom, or a promotion.
It came from becoming a mother.
My oldest child was born in 2002, long before I owned a business, earned advanced degrees, or received professional recognition. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about leadership. I was thinking about diapers, doctor’s appointments, school schedules, and making sure my child had everything they needed to thrive.
What I didn’t realize was that leadership had already begun.
Over the years, I would go on to build businesses, invest in real estate, pursue higher education, and take on responsibilities that affected employees, tenants, vendors, and communities.
But the leadership lessons that have stayed with me the longest didn’t come from any of those experiences.
They came from my children.
What They Notice
Children have a way of exposing the difference between what we say and what we do.
- They don’t care about titles.
- They don’t care about credentials.
- They don’t care about awards, recognition, or accomplishments.
What they notice is consistency.
- They notice whether you keep your word.
- They notice how you handle disappointment.
- They notice how you treat people when no one is watching.
- They notice whether your actions align with your values.
Leadership Is Not About Authority
As I built my career, I began to realize that the same qualities that make a parent trustworthy are often the same qualities that make a leader effective.
- Leadership is not about authority.
- It’s about responsibility.
- It’s about making difficult decisions when easier ones are available.
- It’s about creating stability during uncertain times.
- It’s about serving others rather than expecting others to serve you.
In my work providing housing, I have seen firsthand how important stability is. People need a foundation. They need consistency. They need someone they can trust.
The same is true at home.
The more experience I gain, the more I believe leadership begins long before someone receives a title. It begins in the everyday moments when people are watching how we respond to challenges, setbacks, and responsibilities.
What My Children Taught Me
My children taught me that.
- They taught me that leadership is less about being in charge and more about being accountable.
- Less about being admired and more about being dependable.
- Less about recognition and more about impact.
Legacy
Today, when I think about legacy, I don’t immediately think about accomplishments. I think about influence.
I think about the example we set for those who are watching us grow, struggle, persevere, and succeed.
Because long after titles change and careers evolve, the way we lead people will remain.
And for me, some of the most important people I will ever lead have been watching from the front row all along.
