You Don’t Have to Carry Everything
Learning to let go of what isn't yours to carry.
You Don't Have to Carry Everything
There is so much going on in the world right now. Every time we turn on the television, scroll through social media, or check our phones, there seems to be another troubling story. It can be a lot to take in.
Then, on top of everything happening around us, we still have our own lives to manage. We have families, work, responsibilities, relationships, and personal concerns. Before we know it, we are carrying more than we were ever meant to carry.
I think women do this more often than we realize. We try to make sure everyone else is okay. We listen, encourage, help, fix, and show up whenever we are needed. Sometimes, people don't even have to ask because we can sense when something is wrong.
There is nothing wrong with being that person. Caring for others is a wonderful quality. But we have to be honest with ourselves about how much we can handle.
We cannot be everything to everybody all the time.
I know that can be hard to accept, especially when people are used to depending on us. We may feel guilty when we say no or when we don't respond right away. We may even feel like we are letting someone down when we choose to take care of ourselves.
But taking care of yourself does not mean you don't care about other people. It simply means you understand that you have needs, too.
Sometimes, you need to turn off the news. Sometimes, you need to put down your phone, sit quietly, and give your mind a break. You may need to tell someone, "I can't handle that today." There may even be times when you are the one who needs help, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that.
I've had to remind myself that every problem is not mine to solve. I can care about something without allowing it to take over my thoughts. I can love people without carrying all of their pain. I can be concerned about what is happening in the world and still make room for peace in my own life.
That does not always come naturally. Many of us have been taught to keep going no matter how tired we are. We praise women for being strong, but we don't always talk about what that strength can cost us.
Being strong should not mean suffering in silence. It should not mean running yourself into the ground. And it should not mean feeling guilty whenever you take a moment to breathe.
With everything going on, we may even feel guilty for having a good day. But it is okay to laugh. It is okay to enjoy time with the people you love. It is okay to celebrate the good things in your life, even while recognizing that there is pain in the world.
Joy does not mean we are ignoring what is happening. Sometimes, joy is what gives us enough strength to keep going.
So, take a moment and think about what you have been carrying lately.
How much of it actually belongs to you?
Are you worrying about things you cannot control? Are you taking on other people's problems while putting your own needs to the side?
Maybe there is something you can put down today.
Maybe there is a request you can say no to, a responsibility you can share, or a conversation that can wait until tomorrow.
You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to solve every problem, and you don't have to be strong every minute of every day.
There is a lot happening in the world, and we should continue to care. But we also have to care for ourselves.
You don't have to carry everything. None of us do.
