Challenging the standardized benchmarks that define student success, this article explores how arbitrary grade-level expectations harm identity development and learning potential, advocating for personalized growth over conformity.
Her Story
About Joy
Joy Golden brings nearly a decade of experience in education to her work supporting homeschool families. After beginning her career as a high-risk instructional aide and then earning her bachelor's degree in preK-4th elementary education from Penn State she began teaching third grade for five years in public school. She also holds an Applied Behavior Analysis certification and has completed 15 credits toward her master's degree in curriculum and instruction from the American College of Education.
Drawing on her own experiences being homeschooled, unschooled, and cyberschooled before entering the public school system as a teacher, she recently launched her business in May 2026 focused on writing strategy and support for homeschool families. She developed a writing framework that addresses emotional and foundational barriers to writing; rather than simply prescribing more practice. Golden attributes her success to the grace of God and her determination not allow statistics to determine her own personal outcomes.
Her Interview
Ten minutes with Joy
01What do you attribute your success to?
By the grace of God, honestly. My personal background is very chaotic — I have 15 siblings, my family was poor for most of my childhood, and my parents were negligent at best. My early years were largely spent unschooled, and yet I learned how to learn. Due to a determination I didn't give myself, and my non-traditional education, I was still able to graduate high school — and later graduate at the top of my class at PSH, going on to pursue my master's degree in early childhood education. I am the first in my family to graduate with a bachelor's degree. I remember in college learning about ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) and feeling like I was at a crossroads — statistically, I could see that I was "doomed," but logically I knew my outcomes didn't have to match the "norm" for people with my background. I chose not to be a statistic. I don't think I would be where I am at all if it weren't for divine intervention. I'm so grateful for my God-given mindset and the blessings and abilities that have helped me overcome despite the challenges.
02What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received?
It's so hard to narrow down, because so much of what I view as "career advice" really ends up being just life advice. I believe we need to stop separating career from life — who you are as a person flows into and impacts every area of your life.
One piece of advice that's greatly impacted me: expect good things to happen, and borrow excitement from those things to push past discomfort in the present. I expect my business to thrive, and I use that excitement and energy to stay focused and motivated. Borrowing excitement from the future lets you leverage the positivity of what's coming to actually make it happen.
That ties into "just take action." I used to lean very Type A, and in school that was rewarded — but there's real beauty in taking imperfect action and doing things scared. I've made more progress in my business from just doing that than from anything else. Take action and figure it out as you go, because it will never be perfect and you'll never feel completely ready. I also try to expect disruption when I'm in pursuit of something meaningful — and prepare for it. I started this May, being intentional about getting out there and overcoming my fear of being seen — posting to Instagram daily and putting my ideas out into the world. If I could go back, I'd tell my Type A self to stop trying to perfect it and just go for it.
03What advice would you give to young women entering your industry?
I'd encourage women looking to enter education to be very intentional about building personal boundaries and standards for how you expect to be treated and where you draw the line between work & personal life. Aside from being an incredible life skill, it will help you advocate for yourself in a field where — in my experience — you are largely expected to just do more & sacrifie yourself for the 'greater good' for less and be happy about it. Teacher burn-out is real and it helps to know going into the field what you plan to do when those situations & feelings arise. I'd also encourage those who aspire to become teachers in the traditional classroom sense to set realistic expectations of your role and what you're willing to give up for it, as it becomes an all-encompassing job if you let it. Know your limits, and know that you are not responsible for fixing the system — one that is so inherently flawed I believe it can't be fixed. But just because the system is not ideal doesn't mean teachers can't show up and shine all the brighter for it! Learn to define a good day not from your outcomes but from your inputs. We will always need great teachers, and a great teacher knows the difference between a good test score and a good human being.
Ultimately: know your worth, and don't settle for less. There will always be someone who needs you. But who needs YOU and your unique gifts the most? And where can you thrive while serving others, rather than burn out under the weight of responsibility? As a teacher, I gave my all and it was never enough. As a homeschool mom and Educational Strategist, I'm giving my all and feeling Alive and fulfilled. Find what gives you that, and you'll be able to serve more people and do more good than you ever could as a martyr.
04What are the biggest challenges or opportunities in your field right now?
Education is an incredible field because it touches on our humanity — we learn and grow and change, and that's so beautiful.
A challenge that I think is going to continue to be a force to reckon with is AI. It's both an opportunity and a challenge at once. On one hand, we have questions about how to integrate it in ways that are truly impactful, not just "easy." On the other hand, we have questions about authenticity, real learning, and maintaining our intelligence rather than giving it away. I think the teachers who know how to utilize AI without being afraid of it are going to make a big impact. Education is moving away from memorization and everyone being the same — yet we still have to find ways to be equitable about how we use these tools, and ensure we aren't abandoning true education in pursuit of novelty or the newest tricks. Beyond AI, education is shifting in general into something less rooted in the past — sitting in rows of desks and the like — and that's one reason I've embraced homeschool so fully. Families are tired of being defaulted into a system that so often doesn't meet their kid's needs. So it's a field with huge needs, and creative thinkers will stand out — if they don't burn out first.
05What values are most important to you in your work and personal life?
Again — work and personal life are intermeshed in my mind. I will always say integrity: doing the right thing regardless of who is around, the outcomes, or how it impacts me is an integral part of who I am. I value honesty, because without truth nothing can be trusted, and without trust nothing I say or do matters. So I always aim to be a person who is trustworthy and acts with integrity above all else. I'm sure I fail at many things, but if I can succeed at those, I know my life will be a thousand times better than if I didn't have them.
Patience is also so important to me — beyond just not gracefully accepting traffic jams, but having the patience to pursue something that doesn't give me immediate gratification, knowing the payoff is coming in time. Delayed gratification is one of humanity's superpowers! Another one I'm actively working on is communication — clarity in how, when, and if I speak. I believe language matters so much.
Her Content Hub
Articles by Joy
On Track to Blending In
Rethinking Educational Standards and What It Really Means to Succeed
Am I Failing My Kid?
“Am I failing my kid?” Homeschool families ask this all the time, as if there is a set rule for exactly what our kids should know by a certain age.
Oh, wait—benchmarks have hard-wired this idea into our heads. Standardization has normalized the idea that kids are supposed to know certain things at certain ages and grade levels.
Benchmarks, data—school, by design, puts students into brackets, labels them, and turns them into data points to determine funding and logistics. This isn't to attack public education. I understand why it happens. When you're working with large groups of children and managing so many moving pieces, there must be order, systems, and data. You simply cannot—and should not—operate a public school like a homeschool. It would be madness.
But the issue is multifaceted.
With all this data, specific grade-level expectations, and strict bars to reach, kids quickly notice where they and their peers stand. Whether teachers try to hide the “low” and “high” group names or not, everyone knows who is in the low reading group and who isn't meeting the bar.
We end up using these arbitrary bars to evaluate ourselves and others. When we determine our worth or intelligence based on a set standard, we limit ourselves, overemphasize certain strengths, and pass those same judgments on to others. It's simply illogical to expect kids not to internalize their “rank” in terms of subject knowledge.
For example, if a child sees that they are in the low reading group, they may internalize the belief that they are a “bad reader.” They may start avoiding books—even interesting ones—because they don't want to be embarrassed for not reading at the level society says they “should” be at by that age.
Or take a child who excels in math. They're more inclined to take on every new challenge to show off their strength—until one comes along that is too much of a challenge. That challenges their very identity. Instead of leaning in, they lean away to maintain their title outwardly, while inwardly knowing they've just met their bar.
These are the realities of subscribing to the bar.
The Carryover Into Adulthood
This idea of “SHOULD” is fascinating because it carries directly over into adulthood.
“I SHOULD understand my taxes and my 401(k) by 30, so I'm not going to ask for help because it's embarrassing. I'll just avoid tax and money talk altogether.”
We consciously hold ourselves back from learning things that are in our best interest simply to avoid negative perceptions. We maintain this lingering belief that life is a continuation of the school's bar model—where everyone is supposed to reach set levels by certain ages and learn the exact same things.
So many people carry shame and embarrassment about the very traits that make them unique or gifted. The system teaches us that not fitting in or measuring up to an imaginary bar is a problem.
There's an unspoken rule to just get everyone to the bar—not past it. Pushing past it is seen as unnecessary because “they'll learn that next year,” so the system keeps them glued to their age group.
If you don't know what someone your age knows, you're “lacking.” If they don't know what you know, you're “ahead.”
This mindset helps nobody.
Specialists, Not Just “Behind”
This setup completely sidelines reality.
A child labeled as “challenged” or a “poor reader” by the system might eventually specialize and run circles around everyone else in practical areas like mechanics, athletics, or divergent thinking. Yet those kids don't always get to shine; they can be dismissed, defeated, or undervalued.
There are so many neurodivergent and autistic kids who may appear “behind” in traditional education but possess extensive knowledge and abilities that simply aren't tested or valued in the same way. That doesn't make them less intelligent—it makes them specialists.
If my best friend and I know exactly the same things by age 25, we are redundant together and at risk of becoming an echo chamber. The ideal situation is to engage with people of different backgrounds, knowledge, and experiences so we can learn and grow together—not measure each other based on what we “should” collectively know.
So what if someone never read Shakespeare but can rebuild a car engine? Practically, socially, and intellectually, that person brings a unique perspective and problem-solving ability to the table.
The Growth Mindset Contradiction
By keeping everyone “on the same page,” we keep people boxed in—unable to discover their true potential because they've been told what their limits are and that anything outside the norm is wrong or a distraction.
And then we wonder why so many young adults struggle with identity, purpose, and passion.
So much of that struggle ties directly back to what we teach them to value and what earns approval: blending in, conforming, and getting to the bar.
We, as educators, pay lip service to a “growth mindset,” but then we grade mistakes rather than celebrating them as part of the learning process. We hand out report cards that can function like final statements of who students are, rather than reflections of what they are working toward.
The bar isn't just bizarre—it can actively undermine the very growth mindset we claim to teach.
That's a lot of criticism, I know. Coming from a diverse educational background myself, I see many sides of the educational world. This isn't meant to attack standardized testing. It's meant to share a perspective that I think anyone who has or works with kids—or who has ever felt embarrassed by a lack of knowledge—can relate to and apply.
It's not a lack of knowledge that should be shameful, but choosing to remain ignorant.
It's not failing to meet expectations that is bad, but failing to reach at all.
It's not falling behind others that is the problem, but accepting mediocrity when we have the ability to grow.
If You're a Homeschool Family
Know that YOU get to construct the educational landscape for your kids.
Where your kid “should” be isn't an indicator of what they actually need, who they are, or what their talents are.
If You're Feeling Inadequate in Any Area Right Now
Know that you aren't BEHIND because there's something wrong with you.
You're perfectly positioned to do something about the things you don't know.
It's never been easier to learn, ask the embarrassing question, or be the person who chooses growth over saving face.
You don't have to know everything. You just have to be willing to keep learning.
If you enjoyed this perspective, I'd love to connect!
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