Karli Sherman

You want a really great question that can spark some seriously cool, meaningful conversation? I was asked this question recently, and my answer surprised even me.

Have you ever gotten what you wanted and found that it did not satisfy you?

I have self-diagnosed myself with “Hamilton Syndrome” because I’ll never be satisfied. Did you start singing the song? I hope so.

If not, let me help you out. In the musical Hamilton, there’s a song (and multiple references) about how Alexander Hamilton always does more, learns more, writes more, and wants more—how he will never be satisfied with the status quo. It’s a point of contention with his wife. Even upon reaching a new achievement or success, he never rests or settles into it. He moves on to the next challenge.

I identify with that deeply.

I think it’s the force behind a lot of my strongest qualities—ambition, hard work, drive, determination, resilience, and lifelong learning. I also see it reflected in my stubbornness, restlessness, impatience, and the way it can sometimes dampen joy or contentment. So, like many human traits, there are two sides to the coin.

So yes, I’ll probably always want more. I’ll never be content with the status quo. I’ll always seek to level up. And I’m okay with that.

In fact, I’ve built an entire company around it. As a speaker and leadership coach, I specialize in women’s professional development. I literally teach women skills to help them level up in public speaking, confidence, physical presence, and leadership. And it’s awesome.

The growth moment for me has been learning that wanting more doesn’t mean dismissing what is already enough.

For my fellow “Hamilton Syndrome” friends…

• How do you celebrate your wins?
• How do you stay present in the moment?
• How do you see this showing up in your life, your work, or your relationships?
• 
  

So many of us, especially women, are taught (explicitly or not) that “no” should be followed by a comma and an explanation.

We are taught that “no” should be part of a compound sentence.

Fun fact: “No” is a complete sentence.

No.

No?

No!

No…

Of course, if you *want* to offer further information along with your “no” then go ahead.

But we actually don’t *have* to.

But Karli, that’s weird…

I totally thought so too.

Turns out that is some societal garbage ingrained in our heads.

I promise it’s actually not nearly as weird or offensive or mean or rude (or any other synonym) as you think it is!

Don’t believe me?

Try it.

I dare you :)

And if you feel weird saying just one syllable as an answer, then you can follow it up with a phrase that is not an explanation of justification (or straight up lie…you know you’ve done it).

No, thank you.

No, I can’t, so sorry.

No, thanks for inviting me, though.

No, I don’t.

No, but thanks for thinking of me.

At first, I felt awkward doing it.

Then I noticed no one cared.

Then it felt freeing.

Then it felt fun!

Now, it feels empowering.

My challenge for you is:

Say no + a follow-up phrase - an explanation.

And let me know how it goes!

Send me a message and let's connect!

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This question is a staple in every set of interview questions I’ve ever seen or used - as it should be.

Now watch out! It can be worded in a few different ways, but they are all getting to the same point.

It could sound like:

“What sets you apart from the other candidates/contestants?”

“Why do you deserve this award/title/role?”

“What would you do with this opportunity if given the job/title/award/internship?”

Don’t let the different phrasings get in the way; they are all asking for the same information from you.

In theory, this *should* be one of the easiest questions you can be asked in an interview.

I mean, it’s all about you - the best parts of you - and who knows YOU better than YOU?!

Yet, this area of questioning trips up SO MANY people.

Here’s what the interviewer is saying:

I’m looking for someone who is self-aware enough to know what they bring to the table and self-confident and prepared enough to articulate it.

This is your chance to shine!

So explain what you can bring to the table!

Two things to remember when preparing for this question:

1. This has everything to do with you and no one else.

Even if the question is worded as “why should we choose you over the other candidates/contestants” or any other way of framing this as “you against them” - that has no bearing on the answer.

Because my qualifications have nothing to do with anyone else’s.

Maybe they are just as qualified as me and would do just as good a job as me.

Maybe.

Maybe they suck. I dunno.

That’s not for me to say. That’s for the interviewer to figure out.

My job is to outline why I would be great - not greater than someone else.

But great regardless of anyone else.

2. Forget the humble and just brag.

This is about reframing the way we think about this question.

We are stating the truth. It’s just facts. Good facts.

It’s not gross, even if we have been conditioned to feel gross when talking about ourselves positively.

Our strengths, skills, talents, and experiences are just facts about us.

Take this list, for example:

I am 5’11”

I am skilled at public speaking and am an accomplished event emcee

I have a Master’s degree

I am a fierce advocate for women’s leadership development

I wear a size 11 shoe

I am adept at maximizing an organization through professional development training

All simple factual statements. Truths about who I am and what I can do.

Ask yourself - why does it feel gross to talk about how I’m great at managing people but it feels fine to talk about how I’m tall?

Both are facts about me, right?

We just need to understand that there are social constructs that have hijacked our brains into making us play small when it comes to skills and abilities, but they are just as valid and factual as height or shoe size!

This is all crucial to understand and internalize before we can actually begin to answer this question

To answer this question well, you need to be able to succinctly, meaningfully, and interestingly communicate positive facts about yourself in relation to the role you are interviewing for.

However, in my experience as an interviewer and interview coach, a few weird things happen when folks answer this question:

• Answers are too vague
• Bringing up the other candidates/contestants/applicants
• Discomfort with talking about oneself positively creates an awkward vibe with weird word choice

To combat the weirdness, here are 3 things to consider when forming your answer:

1. Get specific with your words and examples.

Here’s the thought process: “I want to try to encompass the entirety of who I am and what I have accomplished in just a few sentences, and that is daunting, so I will use some all-encompassing phrase to show my vast experience!”

…and then we end up saying things like “I have great communication skills” and “I’m an organized person.”

These phrases are well-meaning but they are sooooooo vague that they essentially mean nothing.

By trying to broadly capture all of your experience, you essentially communicated none of it.

Instead, choose really specific words or skills or phrases. You may feel like you’re leaving out big chunks of your experiences and personality, but take a deep breath, because that’s ok. They don’t have to know all parts of you at once.

Instead of having “great communication skills,” you have “the ability, as a content creator, to capture the voice of your client in blogs and captions making you a sought-after marketing professional.”

Instead of being “an organized person,” you have “the ability to see patterns and keep track of details making you adept at record keeping.”

You see the difference?

It’s better to represent fewer experiences more specifically and meaningfully than to try to represent the entirety of your humanity vaguely.

2. Leave Other Candidates Out of Your Answer

Listen.

I know there are other candidates.

You know there are other candidates.

Your interview is not about the other candidates.

So we don’t need to bring them up. (“Well, I know there are a lot of wonderful applicants…)” Nor do we need to address their supposed qualifications or worth. (“I mean, I’m sure the other contestants are just as deserving of this honor…”).

Even if the question is worded as “why should we award you this honor instead of the other candidates?” or “what makes you stand out from the other candidates?” - LEAVE THEM OUT OF YOUR ANSWER.

You don’t need to tell the interviewer anything about the other candidates. This is your time to shine!

3. Answer With Confident Humility

One of my favorite thought leaders is Adam Grant, and in his book Think Again, he gives us the concept of confident humility.

He says, “Confidence is believing you can do great things. Humility is knowing that you don’t always have the knowledge and skills to do them yourself.”

Showing confident humility in your answer, when asked why you should get the job/award/crown, allows you to not come across as an arrogant know-it-all. It also allows you to avoid the opposite problem, coming across as insecure and self-doubtful.

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read.)

• Tell me, using specific language, why YOU want this, what skills or talents YOU have that will make you successful in this role, and what YOU plan to do with the role moving forward!
• Don’t bring up any other candidate/contestant/applicant.
• Be confidently humble in admitting you don’t know everything, but you have the skills and talent to learn and grow, making you and this role/job/title better for having you in it.