Lauren E Miller

I think it's a combination of education - I believe the greatest teachers are constant students, and I'm continually taking educational programs. I was just sponsored into a trauma and stress program right now, a program that they sponsored me into, so I'm constantly taking some form of educational program so that I can learn even more tools, techniques, and processes to be helpful to each client that's in front of me. I remember dragging my books - I've written 9 books - to free stress management seminars that I would put on 20 years ago, and sometimes I would only have like 3 people show up and I'd sell maybe 2 books. I'd come back and be like, what the heck? I thought I was called to do this, maybe not. And I really heard kind of like an answer within, in a form of prayer, that said don't do it for the masses, do it for the one person. If it makes a difference for this one person, then you're on mission. Don't look at the numbers. Having that attitude, coupled with education and the experience, the choice to focus on one person at a time that's in front of my face - what value can I add to their life? What tool can I give them? What reminder can I share? Whatever it is, so that they walk away a lighter version of themselves. It's kind of like the starfish story where there was a little boy walking along the ocean throwing in one starfish at a time, and there were hundreds that had washed up along the shore, and an older man came by and said what are you doing, you're not going to make a difference. And the boy picked up one starfish and threw it in and said it made a difference for this one. That's kind of my philosophy - it makes a difference for this one.

Don't do it for the masses, do it for the one person. If it makes a difference for this one person, then you're on mission. Don't look at the numbers. This came to me in a form of prayer early in my career when I was dragging my books to free stress management seminars and sometimes only 3 people would show up. I'd come back discouraged, thinking maybe I wasn't called to do this work. But I heard this answer within that redirected my focus from the numbers to the individual impact. It's like the starfish story - you may not be able to save them all, but you can make a difference for this one. That philosophy has guided my entire approach to my work.

I highly value my relationship with God first, then my relationship with my family, and then my work. I teach that work-life balance comes when you align your behavior with what you value most, and stress increases when what you value is not aligned with your behavior. So I really try to live by that. Even though I'm an empty nester, I don't even consider my work as work - I consider it a mission, and I feel blessed to be able to do it. But I schedule my day kind of like school, so I'm done at 3, I try to get everything done at 3, sometimes I work a little bit later, so that I can go over and play with my grandkids. That's really the joy of my life. I'm a grandmother with 4 grandkids that live 10 minutes from me and one on the way. When you face your own death, priorities become very clear, as well as attachments. I learned what's important, what's essential, and what's not. I often say to people who are stressed out, can you take this with you beyond the pine box? That's death-fed wisdom, because when you face your own death, priorities become very clear. Once we release attachment, we become very free people to be able to embrace the gift of the moment that God has given us.