The Family Expectation She Chose to Question

Honoring my roots by staying true to myself….how I did it…. Two things to give your children are roots to stay grounded and wings to fly. I live with my entire family within a 15 minute drive from me in southeastern Virginia. Our roots are strong with faith, family values, and traditions. My children obtained higher education degrees and were successful athletes, scholars, and landed great jobs despite being the "COVID Graduates/In college". I gave them wings to fly higher and farther than me. One is 5 hours away but the other is in Colorado. We FaceTime and chat many times a week and during family functions so they are home, even when they aren't. I instilled all the things I love, and important life lessons, for them to pass to their children. I wasn't brave enough to leave my safe space, but I am so very proud that they know I'm their safe space and I'm always here.

My parents and sister laid the foundation for dedication, accountability, and support. We have always been people who can both follow and lead when needed, with a shared commitment to serving the mission and vision of an organization.

My parents had me start working when I was 14, and my first job was as a fry cook at a bowling alley. Looking back, I'm so grateful I started young and had the opportunity to work my way through my career. It taught me hard work, gave me real-world experience and ultimately helped shape the industry I fell in love with. That's something I want to instill in my son, letting him explore different jobs and environments until he finds something he truly loves. I also believe working with people teaches you things you don't always learn in school like patience, responsibility, multitasking, problem solving and how to work with all different personalities. I didn't know it standing over a fryer at 14, but those experiences helped shape the leader I am today.

Making the right choice for my own life means growing in the direction that's true to our vision, even when it means charting a path my family or industry didn't expect.

I believe sacrifice is a form of love. I've endured long commutes to be surrounded by managers who understood the importance of family and work balance. Sacrificing is to be able to provide for your family and to honor your decision as that decision was made to the best of my ability at the time and leaving the rest to God.

My family expectations were that I would be a nurse. When I was a young girl I would take care of my grandmother when she was sick. She was a diabetic and I would give her an insulin injection. Even though her leg was amputated she cooked and cleaned and raised her grandchildren very well. She would be very proud of me today.

I come from a line of strong women, my grandmother and mother taught me that strength is not something you announce; it is something you live. I honored their legacy not by following the path expected of me, but by walking boldly in my own heels…and making sure every step forward created a path for another woman!

So, my parents were unsupportive teenagers at best. However, they had unrealistic expectations with zero support. I understood the hypocrisy at a very young age. However, God gives you what you need. Mine is a woman named Jennifer that took me in. Taught me how valuable I am. Took a long time. But I eventually believed her. Her love is still true to this day. I live 1 mile from her 30 years later. Blood doesn't matter. I have proof.