The Tradition She Chose to End

I stopped believing that credibility requires certainty. I've chosen curiosity instead, bring what I know, admit what I don't, ask better questions, and trust that the best solutions are often built with people, not handed to them.

I chose to stop measuring my value by circumstances I could not control. Careers change, companies change and unexpected chapters happen, but I've learned to carry forward my experience, resilience and belief in what I can contribute, not the setback that brought me there.

One pattern I chose not to carry forward was believing I had to carry everything alone. For years, I overextended myself to keep the peace, thinking strength meant silence and self-sacrifice. But God showed me that anything breaking my spirit isn't loyalty, it's bondage. I began questioning the pattern when I realized my peace was being traded for other people's comfort. So, I chose differently, boundaries over burnout, honesty over silent endurance, and partnership over isolation. Changing my future began with one decision...I will not carry forward anything that breaks my spirit or dims my light.

The Stevenson women were agrarian based ladies who married young, bore children and served their community, all within a 50 mile radius. Following their lead, I switched tradition up with an added flair that you can move around, keeping family intact, all the while experiencing the world & fulfilling dreams.

The tradition I chose to end was the belief that my past had the authority to decide who I would become. At 40, after a lengthy prison sentence, I came home with the GED I had earned at 17 and a life that looked very different from the one I had once imagined. There were moments when the weight of everything I had lost and everything I had to rebuild felt overwhelming. I knew people could look at my record and make assumptions about who I was. But the hardest judgment to overcome was the one I had begun making about myself. Then I realized something: if I continued to see myself only through the lens of my past, I would be carrying my sentence long after I had served it. That realization changed me. I decided I would not spend the rest of my life apologizing for who I had been. I would spend it becoming who I was capable of being. I chose education when it would have been easier to believe it was too late. I chose growth when starting over was uncomfortable. I chose purpose when shame could have kept me hidden. That decision became a new way of living. I earned my bachelor's degree from the University of Oklahoma, graduated cum laude with a master's in Human Resource Employment Law, became an HR Director overseeing three sports and entertainment locations, authored Beyond the Background Check, and continued my education as a PhD candidate. But those accomplishments are not the most important part of my transformation. The most important part was learning to see myself as more than my worst chapter. I chose to end the cycle of allowing mistakes, circumstances, or other people's perceptions to determine what comes next. And now, through my work in HR and my commitment to second chances, I try to create the kind of opportunity I once needed: an opportunity to be seen for who you are becoming, not simply where you have been. The tradition ended when I stopped asking whether I deserved a new beginning and decided to build one. I chose possibility over limitation, purpose over shame, and a future that was mine to write.