Challenging behaviors among boys in a preschool setting.
Exploring Developmental Differences and Relationship-Based Strategies to Support Positive Behavior in Early Childhood Settings
Early childhood behavior is closely linked to social-emotional development and the quality of relationships children form with trusted caregivers in educational settings. During the preschool years, young children are actively developing skills related to social interactions, emotional regulation, and impulse control. However, these skills do not develop and emerge uniformly across genders. Research and classroom observations suggest that boys and girls often differ in how social-emotional competencies are expressed, with boys more likely to demonstrate externalizing behaviors within group settings. When classroom behavior management practices are not grounded in developmentally appropriate, relationship-based approaches, these behaviors may escalate rather than diminish. In preschool settings, there is an increase in challenging behaviors among boys, including disruptions, aggression, defiance, and difficulty with self-regulation. This paper examines how differences in boys’ and girls' social-emotional development, classroom behavior management strategies, and the quality of teacher-child relationships contribute to this growing concern.
According to Head start (2025), preschoolers are expelled at three times the rate of children in kindergarten through 12th grade. In fact, preschool-aged boys are four times more likely to be expelled than girls. However, early childhood programs provide a variety of reasons for expelling a child. Teachers and other staff may feel concerned about the safety of the child and other children in the program. Other factors may include:
- 1)Teachers may feel overwhelmed by a child's behavior or may lack the education or skills they need to guide and respond to a child's behavior.
- 2) Work conditions, including low salaries, may contribute to teachers feeling stressed or depressed. This can affect their behavior management skills or tolerance for behavioral issues.
- 3) Classroom conditions, such as high teacher-to-child ratios, may affect a teacher's ability to manage a classroom and deal effectively with children who have behavioral issues.
- 4)Teachers may misunderstand a young child's behavior. For example, a young child who has experienced trauma may engage in aggressive behavior or use hurtful language. Their behavior may be interpreted as willful or purposeful instead of a reaction to their experiences.
- 4) Assumptions based on personal perspectives may lead to staff viewing certain children as more difficult to control or more harmful. This may lead staff to respond more often with harsh consequences. They may also recommend that children be expelled.
What happens during infancy plays an important role in young children’s development because it sets the foundation for their temperament and interactions with others (Keenan & Shaw, 1997). By studying the differences between boys’ and girls’ social-emotional development, as well as looking into Piaget’s Cognitive Development Theory (Babakr et al., 2019), we can observe the beginning of the separation of behaviors starting around the age of three years old. It is during this age that it is more socially accepted that “quiet play, fearfulness, and dependency are behaviors normative for girls, whereas overactivity, aggression, and defiance are not (more socially accepted for boys)” (Keenan and Shaw, 1999). One reason for these societal norms is that in many domains of functioning, including physical, verbal, and social-emotional, it appears that girls mature at faster rates than boys. These differences in maturation increase with age, so by school entry, girls are, on average, one year ahead of boys in terms of physical, social, and emotional development (96). However, despite the difference in maturation, the environment that is provided to young children can also contribute to developing social and emotional regulation.
Effect of positive/negative relationships on a young child’s social-emotional development
Researchers have also discovered that the brain is primed for certain species-specific interactions in order for it to develop in a healthy manner (Swain et al., 2007). For young children, it is in response to natural, live, and dynamic social exchanges, such as receiving affectionate touch during play and other face-to-face interactions (Sonkusare et a., 2019). Young children who have healthy relationships with their caregivers can ultimately cause the brain to release oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone” (Sumioka et al., 2013). This stimulates the release of other feel-good hormones, such as dopamine and serotonin, while reducing stress hormones, such as cortisol and norepinephrine (Sumioka et al., 2013). Infant cortisol levels are socially regulated (Gunnar and Donzella, 2002) and decrease in the presence of sensitive and responsive caregivers with whom they have made secure attachments (Barry, 2019). Cortisol levels can also affect impulsivity in young children as positive relationships correlate with the ability to control one’s impulses (Narvaez et al., 2019). In addition, experiencing positive relationships can increase the adaptive vagus nerve activity and octanoic release, while decreasing not only social anxiety, but also allowing for more social interactions. In contrast, limited positive relationships in early life can lead to an underdevelopment of serotonin receptors, endogenous opioids, and oxytocin (Meinshmidt and Hem, 2007). In fact, researchers have demonstrated that an absence of positive relationships early in life can affect the threshold for activating the amygdala in response to potential threats, which can persist throughout one's lifespan. Such absences, it is believed, can even lead to an underdevelopment of self-regulation for young children (Ochsner & Gross, 2007). In short, children who experience more physical attachment in their development readily engage the mentalizing component of the “social brain,” whereas children who experience less physical attachment are less likely to engage with others as well as self-regulate during stressful situations (Braur et al., 2016).
Strategies and Supports
Learning to identify and manage emotions, to make good decisions, to behave morally and responsibly, and to develop positive relationships are just as vital to successfully negotiating the work as learning letters, numbers, and shapes in preschool. (Paccione-Dyszlewski and Boekamp, 2005). Teachers with strong behavior management in early childhood settings can not only help prevent difficult behaviors from escalating, but they can also help teach young children self-regulation skills. Smith (2009) claims that teachers can be models of learning, especially when it comes to helping children solve social and intellectual problems, as they respond to children’s creative and emotional responses to classroom events, as they plan and implement projects that represent multiple learning opportunities for diverse learners, they are teaching young children powerful lessons in what knowledge is important, what behaviors are valued and what sorts of relationships are essential to a safe and inclusive learning community (147). The quality of the relationship between an ECE teacher and their student can also directly impact how effectively the teacher can support their students in regulating difficult behaviors. Gregoriadis and Grammatikopoulos (2014) claim that close, positive relationships with teachers have been viewed as a source of security and emotional support for children who explore their classroom environment (positively involved and functionally average). Dysfunctional, angry, and dependent patterns are characterized by discordance and negativity in the teacher-child relationship, together with children's clinginess and overreliance on the teacher. High levels of conflict can also limit the impact of the teacher-child relationship as a source of safety and support, while dependency can inhibit children’s effectiveness in exploring the new environment (387-388). Fortunately, we can prevent such limitations and encourage more positive interactions to encourage self-regulation by focusing on the “whole child” as well as reflecting on their teaching practices.
As more preschool programs implement a more “whole child” approach, it is established that children who are emotionally well adjusted are much more likely to experience early school success. Early Childhood programs must reflect on their mission and the theories that will base their teaching practices on. Les Vygotsky’s Social Constructivist Theory, with an emphasis on the Reggio Emilia philosophy, can positively affect the way early childhood educators implement strong classroom management by focusing on the environments and interactions between teachers and their students. Les Vygotsky’s “Social Constructivist Theory” emphasizes that children’s learning is based upon their interactions and relationships that they build with their peers and caregivers (Akpan et al. 2020). Through collaborative learning, young children can learn together as well as from each other through various methods such as one-to-one peer interactions, small group discussions, and group project-based learning. In the classroom, teachers could sometimes divide the class into groups or pair the students and then guide by prompting, questioning, and directing the groups or pairs to discover concepts or gather learning experiences according to the intended objectives (Akpan et al. 2020). Overall, social constructivism is meant for shared experiences with others, not for an individual partaking.
Reggio Emilia, a philosophy derived from the interests of children, emphasizes the need for a child-directed curriculum, in which both the parents and teachers work together to implement the weekly activities (Hong, Shaffer & Han, 2017). The Reggio Emilia approach consists broadly of two parts. The first part involves the design of an initial learning environment rich in materials and possibilities. The second part involves observing and documenting the children’s learning encounters (interaction with the learning environment) in order to build the learning progression in-depth (629). Both Social Constructivism and Reggio Emilia emphasize how important it is for children to formulate an attachment or essentially establish a relationship with their teachers and peers. These innovative approaches work in conjunction with modern-day lesson planning as it encourages students to learn from each other and learn together. These also promote more hands-on learning and world-based inquiry.
As for the administrators of the preschool programs, they can provide early learning staff (PreK-3rd grade) opportunities for professional learning that is ongoing and focuses on social skills and culturally responsive teaching practices. Professional Learning Communities (PLCs) and P-3 alignment collaborations can meet on a regular basis to focus on partnership in coherence, reflection, and sharing best practices. In addition, coaching and mentoring can be available to ensure that all staff have access to the support they need to implement practices with fidelity and continue to build their expertise in instruction. Administrators also must take into account the effects of teacher retention and the importance of educators having long-lasting relationships with their students. Sources suggest that limited resources, student behaviors, burnout, and compensation directly correlate to the high turnover rate. However, many teachers have expressed a strong desire to stay, driven by possible opportunity for leadership and collaboration, their sense of belonging and community, their dedication to their students, and their commitment to making a difference.
In examining the challenges of teacher retention, researchers have suggested multiple reasons why teachers are leaving the education field. Linet and Bradley (2023) and Juwarti & Octafian (2025) argue that poor student behavior can lead an educator to leave prematurely, as they were unable to deal with low-level, persistent disruptions regularly (754). Such behaviors presented additional pressures on teachers, especially with larger class sizes typically found in rural schools, which ultimately made it difficult for teachers to provide individualized attention to students (265). The lack of years of experience also contributes to teachers leaving the field. According to Seelig & McCabe (2021),” while the teacher workforce in the United States is made up of a significant number of veteran teachers, novice teachers form the largest percentage of teachers who exit the profession. More than 44% of new teachers leave the workforce within the first five years,” (2). More specifically, many first-year teachers referenced dissatisfaction, family and personal concerns, and school staffing decisions as reasons for leaving the profession. Added responsibilities and workload, lack of resources, poor leadership, and lack of professional growth also added to retention challenges, as they caused tremendous burnout among teachers.
In contrast to the difficulties and challenges that have caused teachers to leave the field, many are still willing to face the challenges in pursuit of providing their students with an acceptable education. Arthur and Bradley (2023), Seelig and McCabe (2021) , and Tukahirwa et al. (2025) emphasize that teacher resilience and autonomy are important factors in teacher collaboration. By working together, educators can build supportive relationships with their colleagues and administrators. Administrators, especially, can positively influence the retention decisions of their staff. By creating a nurturing environment, acknowledging and understanding the pressures under which the staff were working, and by recognizing their skills and hard work through rewards and promotions, administrators can affirm that their teaching staff are making a difference with their students and within their communities (Arthur & Bradley, 2023, p.768). By working together in providing direct support to students, teachers, and administrators can support students as early as the enrollment process. From the beginning, students begin building routines and self-regulation by being provided with flexible environments that can respond to the needs of the children. Carter and Curtis (2003) emphasized that classrooms should be considered as a “Third Teacher,” in which parents are a child’s first teacher and their preschool educator is their second (22). Educators need to expand their thinking beyond the notion of room arrangements and rating scales. They must ask themselves what values they want to communicate through their environments and how they want children to experience their time in their programs. When families walk down the halls and into the classrooms of their schools, how would they want them to answer: what does this environment “teach” those who are in it? How is it shaping the identity of those who spend long days there? The answer is: making sure that their students are active participants in planning their environments.
Implementing successful educational spaces that will support students’ development is a task that requires knowledge of children’s needs, especially when it comes to providing calming spaces for children to self-regulate. Carter and Curtis (2003) highlight that preschool classrooms should not have walls that are covered with alphabet letters, calendars, and job charts. Nor should you find commercially produced bulletin board displays, labels on every shelf and surface, or rules posted, as these are not developmentally appropriate (22). In fact, studies have claimed that the most important issue related to the design of the physical environment of children’s education facilities is to allow teachers and students to create their own learning environment, instead of designing everything for them (Sahin and Dostoglu, 2012). Such designs include providing a visual schedule and classroom expectations with photos of the children to help personify the classroom routine and school rules.
Importance of Parent Partnership
Decades of research and practice have demonstrated that strong, positive, responsive relationships between families, communities, and teachers are essential for the healthy development and educational success of all children (California Dept. of Education, 2022). As their first teacher, it is in a child's nature to learn by watching what their parents do and say when they interact with others. How they model the warmth, understanding, and ability to self-regulate themselves to their children is key.
Methodology to Measure Social-Emotional Success or Decline.
Qualitatively, interviews can be conducted with parents, preschool teachers, administrators, and other stakeholders to compile descriptive data on different levels of experiences among the staff (this may contribute to the interpretation of the difficult behaviors), anecdotal observations from classroom staff (lead teacher, associate teacher, and teacher assistant), and teacher-parent communication reports. These, in turn, can also contribute to the quantitative data as we use them as evidence for the play-based assessment: DRDP (2015). The Desired Results Developmental Profile (2015) can help early childhood educators identify low ratings in the key measures of “Approaches to Self-Regulation" and “Social and Emotional Development”. Educators can then use tools like Learning Genie (2025) to compile their DRDP findings to compare their Fall and Spring data program-wide. This will allow them to evaluate specific factors, such as classroom practices in behavior management, which correlate with lower DRDP ratings.
Another observation tool that can be used to measure classroom management and interactions is the Classroom Assessment and Scoring System (CLASS) (Teachstone, 2025). This research-based observation instrument is used to measure and improve the quality of interactions between educators and students. Unlike other assessment tools that may focus on the physical environment or curriculum, CLASS focuses strictly on teacher-child interactions. It is built on the principle that these "moment-to-moment" exchanges are the primary drivers of a child’s social, emotional, and academic development. The tool assesses classroom quality across three broad domains, which are further divided into specific "dimensions":
- 1) Emotional Support: Evaluates how teachers help children develop positive relationships, a sense of security, and self-confidence (e.g., positive climate, teacher sensitivity).
- 2)Classroom Organization: Measures how teachers manage children’s behavior, time, and attention (e.g., productivity, instructional learning formats).
- 3)Instructional Support: Assesses how teachers implement curriculum to promote cognitive and language development (e.g., concept development, quality of feedback). (Teachstone, 2025)
By utilizing both methodologies in the classroom, educators can create a positive classroom climate where children feel safe, understood, and supported, which is especially important for students who exhibit difficult behaviors. DRDP complements this approach by providing teachers with detailed insight into a child’s social-emotional and self-regulation development over time. By understanding where a child is developmentally, teachers can respond to behaviors with appropriate expectations and targeted supports rather than punitive measures. When used together, CLASS guides teachers in refining their interactions and classroom practices, while DRDP informs individualized strategies and progress monitoring. This integrated use encourages proactive, developmentally appropriate, and relationship-based behavior management that supports positive outcomes for children with challenging behaviors.
Conclusion
Addressing challenging behaviors in preschool, particularly those more frequently exhibited by boys, requires a comprehensive, developmentally informed, and relationship-centered approach. Differences in boys’ and girls’ social-emotional development underscore the importance of aligning classroom expectations with children’s developmental readiness rather than relying on uniform behavior management strategies. The quality of teacher-child relationships plays an important role in shaping children’s ability to regulate emotions, engage positively with classmates, and navigate classroom expectations. Tools such as the CLASS and DRDP offer educators meaningful frameworks to strengthen these relationships and implement proactive, equitable behavior supports. CLASS emphasizes emotionally supportive and well-managed classroom interactions, while DRDP provides insight into individual developmental progress, allowing teachers to tailor interventions that meet children where they are. Together, these tools promote reflective practice, reduce reactive or punitive discipline, and support more inclusive learning environments.
Equally important is the role of families, as parents are children’s first teachers and play a critical role in the development of self-regulation and behavior management. Consistent routines, responsive caregiving, and aligned expectations between home and school reinforce children’s ability to manage emotions and behaviors across settings. When educators and families work collaboratively as partners in each child’s development, children receive coherent, supportive guidance that strengthens social-emotional development. Ultimately, effective behavior management in preschool is not about controlling behavior, but about fostering emotional safety, responsiveness, and growth. By integrating developmentally appropriate practices, strong teacher-child relationships, and meaningful family partnerships, educators can create inclusive learning environments that support positive behavior, self-regulation and long-term success for young children as they prepare for their future academic journeys.
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