Diving into Opportunity
From Challenging Choices to Pioneering Online Education: A Journey of Self-Confidence and Seizing Opportunities
My parents used to tell me, “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” I never fully understood what that meant until I married my high school sweetheart. He was an only child, and while he was an undergrad at Pennsylvania Military College in Chester, Pennsylvania, his parents had arranged for him to live with an elderly woman who was a family friend and had just become a widow. They paid her to make his bed, wash his clothes, prepare his meals, and make him comfortable.
Having been accepted into Fairleigh Dickinson School of Dentistry, he asked me to marry him and join him in Hackensack, New Jersey. My “job” was to care for him even more than the widow in Chester. I had just graduated from the University of Delaware with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and had been hired by the Hackensack Bureau of Children’s Services. I was thrilled to be working with children and their families and looked forward to creating a life of our own.
Initially, I was tasked with monitoring preschools to verify their licenses, ensure safety materials were properly stored, and confirm that the children were being fed healthy snacks. The most difficult case I ever experienced came when a couple walked into our “family room.” The mother was holding a four-month-old infant, her husband was nervously pacing, and their five-year-old son and nine-year-old daughter were exploring the toys in the basket by the sofa. The husband worked at a junkyard, and the small bungalow where the family lived was on the premises. The state had determined that the mother, who was mentally challenged, could not adequately care for all three children and would have to “give up” one child for adoption. They allowed her to choose which child would be placed with a new family. I was assigned to the case and tasked with helping the mother make this decision and assisting in a smooth transition.
The nine-year-old daughter was playfully entertaining the infant while her brother played with the toys. I waited until the mother was ready to talk. She began describing her usual mornings and how difficult it was to get all three children ready for the ride into Hackensack. She didn’t fully understand the purpose of her visit. As I explained why she was there, she began to cry. I played with the older children for a while, and when the mother was ready, I explained my role. She nodded, and we began discussing each child. Eventually, she came to the conclusion I had hoped for: she recognized that the older children would be devastated to lose each other and decided that the infant should go to a new family. It was a day I have never forgotten. After four long hours, the two older children were able to kiss their baby sister goodbye, and the parents were confident that I would find a loving home for her. It was one of the most difficult experiences I had faced up to that point.
After my husband graduated from dental school, we returned to our hometown in Delaware. After he passed the Maryland Dental Board Exam, we set up a dental practice in Cecilton. Initially, I worked the front desk, scheduling appointments and placing orders for materials. Eventually, my husband opened a dental practice in Hockessin, Delaware, to be closer to his parents. When I asked about pay, he explained that he could only pay me if I generated income. He compared my potential earnings to those of his dental hygienist, so I enrolled in Delaware Technical & Community College to become a dental hygienist. It was a two-year program; I graduated, passed my national board exam, and gave birth to our eldest son, Robert.
After graduating with an associate degree in Allied Health, I was hired by Delaware Tech to teach psychology courses. The evening classes allowed me to work in my husband’s office during the day and teach at the college in the evenings. All three of our children were enrolled in the same elementary school I had attended as a child. They could walk to my parents’ house after school, where my parents fed them dinner and helped with homework. I could not have done it without their support.
As my psychology courses received positive reviews, the college asked me to teach Criminology, Communication, Child Development, and additional courses. Eventually, they added a Teaching Resource Center and made me director. I was responsible for observing other teachers, providing continuing education courses, and overseeing teaching conferences.
Meanwhile, I was active with the Delaware Dental Hygienists Association and became its president, responsible for furthering the education of Delaware’s licensed dental hygienists. I also served as a delegate for the American Dental Hygienist Association, where I met Esther Wilkins, author of the first comprehensive dental hygiene textbook.
I immersed myself in innovations for dental hygienists. Teeth whitening was emerging as a treatment, and people were dangerously using bleach for coffee stains. I researched and found a dentist in New York City who had developed a safer formula. I contacted him, and he agreed to present to 50 dental hygienists from Delaware. I arranged transportation, and two buses of hygienists attended Dr. Bill Dorfman’s demonstration of his professional take-home whitening product, “Nite White.”
I taught at Delaware Technical & Community College for thirteen years. Wanting to grow further, I enrolled in Pennsylvania State University’s graduate program and earned a Master’s Degree in Instructional Design. At the time, laptops were becoming common in classrooms, and I helped teachers integrate computers into their teaching. Dr. Lonny George, a visionary at Delaware Tech, saw potential in online education and hired Jeffrey Feldberg and me, along with Ken Weaverling and other technicians, to develop online courses with Embanet in 1995. There were many late nights and challenges, but we successfully created English Writing courses and others for students to complete online. Embanet later merged with Compass, was acquired by Pearson, then IntraLearn, and ultimately became Blackboard.
Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, was expanding its Teaching Resource Center and offering online courses. I was hired to prepare instructors for online teaching and convert face-to-face courses to fully online delivery. I moved to Norfolk, lived there for ten years, and taught while converting courses to online formats.
Reflecting on all these serendipitous experiences, I realize that self-confidence made it all possible. There is a “Can-Do Kid” within each of us. My advice to students and friends is simple: if you believe you can do it, you can. Boundaries are necessary, but don’t avoid new experiences simply because you’ve never tried them. I have embraced many “firsts,” and each one has elevated me. I highly recommend diving into every opportunity that presents itself. Don’t miss a beat!
