Do Childhood Experiences Shape Who We Become as Adults?
Examining how early childhood experiences and trauma shape lifelong development and the lasting impact of child welfare interventions.
Working in the child welfare system for several years has shaped how I see behavior. Although when we consider child welfare, especially foster care, we tend to focus only on the present and on protecting children, we should also think about the long-term effects. A question I frequently ask myself is whether we are actually protecting children or unintentionally causing further harm. In relation to generational trauma, many of the families I have worked with have had some kind of interaction with the child welfare system, whether or not they themselves grew up in foster care or had their child(ren) taken from them.
One statement that has always resonated with me is, "Protect and serve children, keep siblings together, and minimize trauma." Yet I often wonder whether we are truly making a difference. Are we actually minimizing trauma, or are we simply changing the circumstances in which it occurs?
Let’s talk about how trauma affects the brain and how we process traumatic experiences. Let’s start with the brain. From in utero exposure to the different stages of childhood development, early experiences and environmental influences occur during critical periods of growth. These windows of development can shape how we think, feel, and respond to the world around us. (Nickerson, 2026) The prenatal environment may be one of the earliest influences on brain development, laying the foundation for how a child learns, adapts, and responds to life experiences. (Lee & Goto, 2013, pp. 483–492)
When we discuss childhood experiences, we often focus on what happens after birth. However, a child's experiences begin much earlier. In my work, I have seen how factors such as tobacco use, substance use, alcohol use, domestic violence, stress, depression, homelessness, and unemployment can affect families long before a child enters the world. While these circumstances have obvious effects on the parent, they can also influence the developing brain of the unborn child. During pregnancy, the brain develops rapidly, and exposure to chronic stress or harmful substances may affect brain plasticity and development in ways that can extend into childhood and adulthood. (Willford & Kaufman, 2024)
According to Hochberg Z. (2011), childhood experiences can play a major role in shaping who we become as adults. Humans possess a quality called developmental plasticity, which allows us to adapt to our environments. Factors such as nutrition, stress, family relationships, and social conditions send signals to the developing body and brain about what kind of world to expect. These early experiences can influence mental health, behavior, and sometimes long-term health conditions. Whether trauma occurs while with biological family members or with temporary families, these experiences can have a profound effect on how we process our experiences. While research helps us understand the biological impact of early experiences, the effects become even more apparent when we examine the lives of children as they grow into adulthood.
In my years of working with adults, I have observed that many of their decisions, particularly those that were not always positive, often stemmed from past experiences. For example, in parenting training, many reported not having a healthy bonding period with a parent during infancy, which is so important from birth to three months of age, and that they had difficulty forming attachments when they became parents themselves. In fact, many have shared struggles with developing and maintaining healthy romantic relationships, as well as sustaining positive friendships. These experiences suggest that early relationships can have a lasting impact on how individuals connect with others throughout their lives.
Children who experience multiple placements within the foster care system often develop maladaptive behaviors. These behaviors can consist of aggression, poor emotional regulation, academic difficulties, and mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression. In my experience working in child welfare, I have seen the impact of multiple placements. The impact has caused difficulties in school, involvement with law enforcement, and/or the development of substance abuse issues. Data also show that each time a child moves from one home to another, the impact can be profound. Adjusting to new rules, expectations, and relationships is challenging. Although many placements provide safety and stability, repeated disruptions can make it difficult for children to develop trust and form secure attachments.
When working with these individuals, I have often found that their childhood experiences of being separated from a biological parent and experiencing trauma influence their decision-making well into adulthood. While each person whom I worked with has a different story, the impact of childhood experiences is often impossible to ignore. This leads me back to my original question: Are we really making a difference, or do we sometimes become part of the problem?
Because I work with both children and adults, I can say that I have witnessed the effects of family separation firsthand. I have seen how individuals struggle to cope with the pain and loss associated with being separated from their parents and siblings. I have also seen how easy it is for them to repeat the same cycles that their mother, and even their grandmother, struggled with, continuing the pattern of generational trauma. I am not saying that I have all the answers. However, what I can say is that I have seen how childhood experiences affect adults. Sigmund Freud also emphasized the importance of childhood experiences, arguing that early relationships and experiences help shape our personality, behaviors, and emotional development as adults.
Thinking about my work in the field of child welfare, it is hard to overlook the link between what children experience in childhood and the results they achieve as adults. Although it is not the case that every child who has been exposed to adverse conditions will have negative outcomes, we should ask ourselves whether the interventions we carry out are actually targeting the problems that were the reason for the child welfare involvement. Since our childhood experiences have an effect on the kind of adults we become, each decision we make on the child's behalf can have an impact on their future for many years.
Since I have worked in child welfare for so many years, I wonder whether childhood experiences have an impact. As the brain and body develop, they continually learn from their surroundings, and early experiences can shape how a person thinks, feels, behaves, and responds to difficulties later in life. It is important to realize that protecting children goes beyond just making sure they are safe in the short term; it also involves understanding the long-term effect that childhood experiences can have on their emotional, social, and psychological development.
Once more, I asked myself: Do childhood experiences influence the people we become as adults? If they do, then the decisions made on behalf of children should be taken into account, since they affect not only their current situation but also their future relationships, their well-being, and their ability to succeed. Whenever I think about the children and families I have worked with over the course of my career, I keep coming back to the same question: Are we in fact making a difference, or do we at times end up being part of the problem?
The answer might not be easy to find, but one thing is clear: childhood experiences do matter—and the decisions we make for children can have consequences that extend well beyond childhood.
References
Hochberg, Z. (2011). Developmental plasticity in child growth and maturation. Frontiers in Endocrinology, 2, 41. https://doi.org/10.3389/fendo.2011.00041
Lee, Y., & Goto, Y. (2013). The effects of prenatal and postnatal environmental interaction: Prenatal environmental adaptation hypothesis. Journal of Physiology, 107(6), pp. 483–492. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jphysparis.2013.04.007
McLeod, S. (2026). Sigmund Freud's theories and contribution to psychology. Simply Psychology. Freud's theory proposed that events and experiences in childhood have a significant influence on adult personality and behavior.
Nelson, C. A., 3rd, Zeanah, C. H., & Fox, N. A. (2019). How early experience shapes human development: The case of psychosocial deprivation. Neural Plasticity, 2019, 1676285. https://doi.org/10.1155/2019/1676285
Nickerson, C. (2026). Critical period in brain development. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/critical-period.html
Salkind, N. J. (Ed.). (2004). An introduction to theories of human development. Sage Publications.
Willford, J. A., & Kaufman, J. M. (2024). Through a teratological lens: A narrative review of exposure to stress and drugs of abuse during pregnancy on neurodevelopment. Neurotoxicology and Teratology, 105. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ntt.2024.107384
