The 5 O’s That Are Silently Burning Out High-Performing Women
Why High-Performing Women Are Exhausted—And What Real Leadership Looks Like
I’ve stood on the yellow footprints at Marine Corps boot camp.
I’ve been pushed, tested, and expected to perform under pressure.
So when I say women are strong… I mean it.
But strength isn’t the problem.
Exhaustion is.
And I see it everywhere.
Not in women who are failing—
in women who are doing everything right.
As a Marine, an educator, and now someone working with women across organizations, I kept seeing the same pattern:
High-performing women… carrying more than anyone realizes.
Not just workload.
Weight.
The kind you don’t see on paper.
I call it the 5 O’s:
Overthinking
Oversharing
Overcommitting
Overcompensating
Over-apologizing
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably felt at least one of these this week.
Women aren’t just working hard.
We’re:
Replaying conversations in our heads
Saying yes when we’re already stretched thin
Explaining ourselves when we don’t need to
Apologizing… just for speaking
Not because we’re weak.
Because somewhere along the way, we were taught to carry it all.
There wasn’t one breaking point for me.
It was a quiet realization.
I had done everything I was supposed to do:
Marine.
Doctorate.
Educator.
And still… I caught myself over-explaining, over-giving, over-proving.
And I thought:
Why am I still trying to earn a seat I already deserve?
That question changed everything.
I remember sitting in a meeting, fully prepared, experienced, and more than qualified to speak.
And still… when I finally said something, I heard myself begin with:
“I’m sorry… I just wanted to add…”
I paused.
Because nothing about what I was about to say required an apology.
No one else in the room was apologizing for their ideas.
No one else was shrinking before they spoke.
But I was.
And in that moment, it hit me—
This wasn’t about confidence.
This was conditioning.
Years of learning to soften my voice, to make space for others, and to avoid coming across as “too much.”
Even after the Marine Corps.
Even after earning my doctorate.
Even after proving—over and over again—that I belonged in the room.
I was still carrying it.
And I knew… if I was doing it, other women were too.
Awareness is where it starts.
But the power is in what comes next.
That’s the sixth “O”:
Opportunity.
Opportunity to:
Pause before saying yes
Speak without shrinking
Lead without proving
Let your presence be enough
Not perfect. Not overnight.
But intentional.
If you lead women—listen closely.
Burnout isn’t always about workload.
It’s about what women are carrying internally while still performing externally.
If you want retention…
If you want strong teams…
Create spaces where women don’t feel like they have to:
Overprove
Overexplain
Overextend
That’s where real leadership begins.
Women don’t need more strategies to succeed.
They need permission to stop carrying what was never theirs to begin with.
And when they do…
You won’t have to ask them to lead.
They already will.
Because the truth is—
You were never too much.
You were just carrying too much.
And the moment you put it down…
You don’t just rise.
You lead.
