The Best Leaders Know the Work: A Woman’s Perspective on Leading Across Generations
Building Stronger Leaders: One Woman's Journey in Hospitality Operations
I was given a piece of career advice early in my career that has stayed with me for more than 18 years:
Learn every position in the department.
At the time, I took that advice literally. Learn the jobs. Understand the standards. Know what it takes to get the work done.
What I didn't realize then was how much that advice would shape not only the leader I would become but also the way I would navigate my career as a woman in hospitality operations.
Women have always been an essential part of the hospitality workforce, yet throughout my career, I haven't always seen women equally represented in the senior operational leadership positions I aspired to reach. That taught me something early: credibility mattered.
I learned the operation. I learned the numbers. I learned the standards. And I learned to walk into a room prepared to explain not only what decision I was making but why I was making it.
For a long time, I thought that preparation was how I proved I belonged in the room.
Over time, I realized something much more important:
I didn't need to prove that I belonged in the room. I needed to recognize the value of what I brought to it.
Knowing the Work Changes How You Lead
Learning every position doesn't mean a leader should spend their career trying to prove they can do everyone's job better than they can.
Quite the opposite.
It means understanding the work well enough to recognize when expectations are unrealistic. It means knowing when a process that looks good on paper doesn't work in practice. It means understanding how a staffing decision made in an office will affect the employee doing the work several hours later.
And perhaps most importantly, it earns credibility.
Employees know very quickly whether their leader understands what they are asking of them.
As my responsibilities grew, my role shifted from learning the work to building systems that let others succeed at it.
That distinction has become increasingly important to me.
Leadership Cannot Be One-Size-Fits-All
There is another challenge today's leaders are facing that we don't talk about nearly enough: we are leading several generations at the same time.
On any given day, a leader may be working with someone entering their first job, an employee building a career and raising a family, someone in the middle of a major career transition, and someone with decades of experience.
They don't necessarily communicate the same way.
They don't always define success the same way.
They may have very different expectations about feedback, technology, scheduling, career advancement, recognition, and the relationship they expect to have with their leader.
Trying to lead them all exactly the same way isn't consistency.
Consistency means holding people to the same standards. Leadership means understanding that different people may need different things from you to reach those standards.
That has been one of the most important evolutions in my own leadership.
Some employees want independence. Others need frequent feedback.
Some respond to public recognition. Others would rather have a quiet conversation.
Some want the next promotion. Others want stability, flexibility, or simply to be excellent at the job they already have.
The standard doesn't change.
The way I help someone reach it sometimes does.
Women Don't Have to Choose Between Strength and Empathy
For women in leadership, I believe there's an additional balancing act.
Be confident—but don't be perceived as difficult.
Be decisive—but remain approachable.
Hold people accountable—but don't lose your empathy.
Earlier in my career, I probably spent more time thinking about that balance than I should have.
Today, I see those qualities differently.
Empathy and accountability aren't opposites.
Neither are kindness and high expectations.
Some of the hardest conversations I've had as a leader have also been some of the most compassionate. Sometimes supporting an employee means listening. Sometimes it means giving someone another opportunity. And sometimes it means being very clear that an expectation has not been met.
Leadership requires knowing the difference.
Your Greatest Accomplishment May Be the Leader Who Comes After You
As my career has progressed, my definition of success has changed.
There was a time when success meant mastering the operation, solving the problem, or achieving the result.
Those things still matter.
But today, one of the things I am proudest of is seeing someone I've coached or developed step into leadership themselves.
I've learned that leadership isn't about becoming indispensable.
In fact, I think great leadership is almost the opposite.
Build people who can make decisions without you. Teach them what you know. Give them opportunities before they're completely comfortable. Let them make mistakes. Coach them through those mistakes. And when they're ready, get out of their way.
That is how organizations build strong leadership pipelines.
It is also how women already in leadership can help create opportunities for the women coming behind us.
We don't simply need more women to reach leadership positions.
We need women in leadership who bring others with them.
The Advice I Would Give Today
If I could speak to the woman I was at the beginning of my career, I would still give her the same advice:
Learn every position in the department.
But I would add a few things.
- Learn the operation.
- Learn the business.
- Learn the numbers.
- Learn your people.
- Learn how to communicate with someone whose experience and perspective are completely different from yours.
- Don't confuse empathy with weakness or authority with leadership.
- Don't wait until you feel completely ready before accepting the next challenge.
- And when you finally earn a seat at the table, don't spend all your energy proving you deserve to be there.
Use your seat to make room for someone else.
Because after more than 18 years in hospitality and operations, I've learned that the strongest leaders aren't measured only by what they accomplish.
They're measured by what—and who—they leave stronger behind them.
