The Day We Leave the Love Of Our Lives

Finding the courage to choose yourself: A journey from smile to self-respect.

Michelle K. Agard, M.A. Ed.

Education Policy & Leadership Executive

Brevard Academic Consulting Group | KB B.E.S.T Educational Services

Smile, You Are on Candid Camera

"Smile, and the world smiles with you; cry, and you cry alone. Put a smile on that face, child."

Why are we encouraged to smile, and what does a smile truly mean?

Sit and observe people in an airport for hours—and I have—and you will witness a bird’s-eye view of the human experience through facial expressions.

Some faces are anxious, weighed down by the expectations of a new destination. Some glow with excitement as they close one chapter, return home, or begin another. Some carry sadness as they leave loved ones behind, while others wear that same sadness as loved ones depart temporarily, permanently, or for reasons neither fully understands.

The most prevalent and complex facial expression at the airport, based on my observations, is the smile.

Smiles can be deceptive and perhaps one of the most misunderstood facial expressions. A smile can communicate approval while concealing the intentions of even the most skilled manipulator. A smile can mean “I love you” or “I hate you,” depending on the heart and intention of the person wearing it.

A smile can represent confidence and nervousness, safety and danger, hope and heartbreak—all at the same time.

Some people smile often. Others rarely do.

When we leave someone we truly love, we rarely smile.

So, I ask:

What’s in your smile?

What are you truly communicating when you smile?

Until my own experiences and my work with abuse survivors and foster children, I could never fully understand why women remain in unhealthy relationships or why children often long to return to homes that have caused them pain.

Hurt, in its many forms, leaves scars. Yet hurt can also become familiar. Sometimes, we become so accustomed to mistreatment that leaving feels more frightening than enduring the discomfort of staying.

We pick out the good parts of the apple and eat around the rotting core of disrespect, manipulation, neglect, and emotional harm.

We smile on special occasions. We celebrate temporary improvements. We excuse behaviors that slowly diminish us. We convince ourselves that what hurts us is somehow balanced by what occasionally comforts us.

The smile remains.

Yet beneath that smile often lies a quiet question:

“Do I deserve more than this?”

I Deserved More—Not Necessarily From Them, But More So From Myself

As the creator of The MAGNIFICENCE™ Framework, a leadership and personal development philosophy designed to help women expand their influence, honor their identity, and create lasting impact without sacrificing their well-being, authenticity, or purpose, I speak from both personal and professional experience.

I have smiled through situations that diminished my self-worth, knowing full well that I deserved more—not necessarily from the person, circumstance, or institution involved, but more importantly, from myself.

I smiled when he spent the night with me despite having many other options.

I smiled when I accepted a friends-with-benefits arrangement—and benefits without friendship—while knowing deep inside that my heart desired something more meaningful.

I smiled when I gave my best to family and friends, only to receive little acknowledgment in return.

I smiled when superiors seemed to believe that position and power entitled them to overlook dedication, integrity, and hard work in favor of compliance and appearances.

The truth is that, as women, we are not only wounded in romantic relationships.

The people and situations that diminish us can take many forms:

Bosses.
Siblings.
Parents.
Friends.
Enemies.
Children.
And, sometimes, ourselves.

This is not about assigning blame. It is about acknowledging a reality many women understand deeply.

Most of us have experienced some form of mistreatment, manipulation, neglect, disrespect, or emotional harm at some point in our lives.

More importantly, this is an invitation to reclaim our voices—and, when necessary, our exits.

Sometimes the most powerful smile we will ever wear is the one that says:

S.M.I.L.E. — So Magnificent I Leave Everything.

I leave the disrespect.
I leave the self-doubt.
I leave the unhealthy attachment.
I leave the environment that diminishes my worth.
I leave when my magnificence reminds me that I deserve more.

Sometimes, ladies, the day we find the courage to leave the people, places, and patterns we once believed we could not live without becomes the best day of our lives.

The relationship that repeatedly disrespects us.
The workplace that devalues our contributions.
The family dynamic that refuses to see who we are becoming.
The familiar comforts that offer beautiful memories yet leave us questioning our worth.

Leaving what is familiar is not always a sad day.

Sometimes, it is the day we stand straighter, walk taller, laugh louder, and rediscover ourselves.

Sometimes, it is the day we realize peace feels better than confusion, and self-respect feels better than approval.

Those are the days we smile.

Not because it does not hurt.

But because something within us has finally begun to heal.

Leaving at the Airport

I stood in the airport hearing one comment too many about how much I would not return, how surely I would find someone else, and how impossible it would be for me to stay away.

Those words reflected far more about his fears than my intentions.

Tired of defending my truth, I silently convinced myself that we could make it work.

I would prove my loyalty.

I would return.

We would build a life together and live happily ever after.

The conflicting emotions became tears, followed by a rushed kiss, no eye contact, and then he was gone.

I did not return.

During the time away:

I found my smile.
I regained my self-worth.
I acknowledged the reality of what I had accepted.
I found the courage and faith to leave what no longer aligned with the life I deserved.

Fast Forward Two Years

I stood in another airport.

This time, I was encouraged, respected, supported, and confident.

I was reminded that I had everything I needed to pursue my dreams.

The reassuring words mattered, but what mattered even more was that I finally believed them myself.

As breakfast ended and the final embrace lingered a little longer, I walked away with a tear in my eye but peace in my spirit.

Inside and out, I S.M.I.L.E.

So Magnificent I Leave Everything that requires me to abandon myself.

Perhaps the greatest smile of all is not the one we wear when someone chooses us.

Perhaps it is the smile we wear when we finally choose ourselves.

When we leave what diminishes us, we do not lose the love of our lives.

We discover it.

And sometimes, standing in an airport, walking toward an uncertain future, carrying nothing but faith, courage, and self-respect, we finally realize the truth:

The love of our lives was never the person we were afraid to leave.

The love of our lives was the magnificent woman waiting for us on the other side of goodbye.