Why I Combine Sex and Intimacy Coaching with Sober Coaching
Reclaiming Intimacy and Pleasure in Sobriety
I have been sober for over three years now, and my life has changed in ways I never could have imagined. I am genuinely happier without alcohol or drugs, and I feel more grounded, more present, and more connected to myself than ever before.
That said, choosing to live alcohol-free was a massive shift. The first year—especially the first six months—was incredibly challenging and often isolating. Each day felt like something I had to get through rather than fully live. Sobriety, in the beginning, felt less like freedom and more like a daily battle.
I knew alcohol was controlling many aspects of my life, which is ultimately why I decided to let it go. What I didn’t yet understand was the full extent of how deeply it had affected me—especially during the final years of my drinking. Its influence reached into every corner of my life, including an area I hadn’t fully examined before: sex and intimacy.
It wasn’t until I got sober that I realized I had never experienced sex without alcohol in my system—or without being deeply affected by it. Alcohol had always been there, shaping how I felt in my body and how I connected with others. That realization was unsettling. It forced me to confront how disconnected I had been from my own natural sensations, boundaries, and desires.
As I entered sobriety, the idea of sex felt overwhelming rather than exciting. For a long time, it didn’t feel like an option at all. Just thinking about intimacy without alcohol caused my body to shut down. I felt frozen and uncertain, afraid that I might never be able to experience sex comfortably or confidently again if I stayed sober.
That fear—and the work I eventually did to move through it—became a turning point. It is also the foundation of why I now combine sober coaching with sex and intimacy coaching. I know firsthand how closely these two areas are linked, and how healing one often requires tending to the other. Sobriety doesn’t just change how we live; it changes how we relate, how we experience pleasure, and how we come home to ourselves.
