Monique C. Gaines

I attribute my success, first and foremost, to my Heavenly Father. I had a couple of rounds of denying things, saying no, this isn't for me, but God definitely positioned me to do this work whether I liked it or not. But honestly, my daughter is also a huge part of my success. Growing up and even in my 20s, I felt a certain way about myself and noticed the pathology in my family - how certain mindsets were passed down. When I found out I was pregnant, I said okay, you're gonna have to change some things. And when I found out I was having a girl, I said oh, you're gonna have to make big changes. When she came along, it was definitely a catalyst for me to make major changes and take the information I have and actually do something with it - to be proactive and productive instead of just saying this is the way things are even though this is not what I want. I had to make that change by being that change. So I do accredit a lot of it to my child for that reason.

The best career advice I’ve been given is to lead with your heart. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t force it. It’s not always about the dollar — fulfillment, peace, and purpose matter too.

Put yourself out there. Let people know that you are here, let people know that you are available. Go to the events, go to where you know you are welcome, go to places where they may not even know who you are or what you have to give, but put yourself out there. It's not always easy, but it's not always as hard as you think it might be, either. So just be open, keep yourself open. And one of the biggest things I've learned is treat yourself the same way that you would treat anybody else. What I mean by that is, if you have a client that's coming to you asking you how do I do this, whatever advice is that you would give to that client, you definitely need to take yourself, because it's gonna work for you the same way it's gonna work for them.

In the field of coaching, I think there's a misconception that coaching is unnecessary because we're not therapists. There's almost a hierarchy - you have therapists, counselors, and coaching, and people think coaching is not really necessary, it's not really real, it's not beneficial. But really, in the grand scheme on a large scale, they're kind of all the same. They definitely have their places, their specialties, and their differentiations, but at the same time, they're all necessary. So the challenge is letting people know that coaching is just as necessary as a therapist or a counselor, and that just because you have a therapist doesn't mean you can't have a counselor or a coach. You can have all three at the same time. I tell my clients all the time, don't think because you have me that you can't go get a therapist. You might need to go get a therapist because you might be out of my realm of expertise. The misconception that a coach is the low man on the totem pole is wrong. We are very much valuable, very much needed in the community, very much a part of that therapy tree - we're just a different part of it, but we're still very much needed and valuable and of great use to the community.

Definitely honoring my truth and knowing that what I'm doing fortifies my goal and is within God's will. Because if it's outside of His will, it's not going to be pretty. So if I make sure that what I'm doing is in God's will and is in the best interest of myself and my child, and it honors what's truly within me - I'm not doing something just because it looks nice or because somebody else said this would be great for me, but it actually is what I want and it actually does speak to who I am truly on the inside - that's what will lead me and how it will lead me.