Valrie Dorsey

I attribute my success to being able to learn how to not micromanage and to balance everything. If you can't balance everything, you're really gonna fail, and you have to balance it in a way where you're not trying to please everybody. I've learned to trust people to do what I train them to do and to follow up with them. That trust, having that trust in them and giving them room to grow, has been huge. I don't hinder people because I feel like they're a lot stronger than a lot of managers give them credit for. I teach them that it's not an 'I' thing, I don't do it alone, I have help. I give them all the tools they need, and it's up to them to use it. That has made me really successful, that trust and letting go. Between the stroke and the nervous breakdown, I had to let go because I didn't know how to shut down, and I learned it the hard way. I tell any woman that we put a lot into what we do, a lot into our families, and we spread ourselves so thin that we forget who we are. We have to remind ourselves every day, not just every night, but every day. I wake up and remind myself that I took my first breath, I took a step today, and I give myself a positive affirmation that it's gonna be a good day. I listen to my minister on the way to work and his positive affirmations about how the day gonna go, and I take that to work with me.

The best career advice I ever received was about not taking on so much responsibility on my own. I was taught to train and teach my team to be able to do everything so that things can be ran and done even if I'm not there. That was the biggest career advice I ever got, and I pay close attention to it now. I learned to teach and train people so that when I'm not there, the job is still gonna go on. When I was out for over 3 months because I tore my rotator cuff and had surgery, I was scared to leave, but when I came back, it was beautiful. My store was running on all cylinders, and my team did a phenomenal job. My co-manager stepped up, my supervisor stepped up, and it was amazing. They didn't even call me while I was out, which was scary too, but it attested to how much training and trust I have in them. That delegation and trust has been the most valuable lesson I've learned in my career.

I tell anybody that comes to the team, even outside the team going to other stores, that retail is not easy, but it can be fun. I love teaching and training people and seeing how they flourish. The biggest thing I want young women to know is that you can do it all and have it all without having it all. As women, we take on a lot, and we don't have to. A lot of younger women, I call them the babies, come in the world thinking this is how it's gonna be, but it's not like that. You don't have to take on everything. Learn how to say no. No is a sentence. You put no, exclamation point, no, period. If I had told my younger self to say no more, the nervous breakdown, the heart attacks, and strokes, and all that wouldn't have happened. I didn't know how to shut down, and I learned it the hard way. My body was like, hey, you ain't listening, I'm trying to tell you something, and you're not listening, so now listen. We as women spread ourselves so thin that we forget who we are, but we have to remind ourselves every day. Wake up, take your first breath, take a step today, and give yourself a positive affirmation that it's gonna be a good day.

The most important values to me are putting God first, then working on yourself. I tell my kids every day that it's a learning thing. Always put God first, then work on yourself, don't work on nobody but yourself, and once you get those three things working together, you'll be a better person for everybody. That approach has made a world of difference for me and my team. I also value honesty and direct communication. I told my district manager in the beginning that if I'm messing up, I need to know the truth. I'm not one of those people that you gotta sugarcoat it for. I can handle positive feedback, and I can handle being coached to improve myself. I give that same honesty to my team. Before any tour, I'll ask if they want Val or the professional Miss Valerie, because I believe in being real with people. I value trust tremendously. Learning to trust people to do what I train them to do, and giving them room to grow without hindering them, has been key to my success. I also value balance and self-care. I've learned through my health challenges that you have to take care of yourself first, remind yourself every day that you woke up and took your first breath, and maintain positive affirmations throughout the day.