How She Navigated Being the First in Her Family

I was the first in my family to go to college, and I am finishing my doctorate at forty-seven. Being first asked me to sit in rooms nobody had prepared me for, to stop waiting to feel qualified, and to keep walking in anyway so the ones coming behind me would know the door opens.

It was all of the above. First to graduate college and work in professional space. Then I bought my parents a home and sent my sister to college. Now, my sister is helping our family. It was something I was happily able to do and proud of because it is part of our values and Filipino culture of Kapwa and Bayanihan to help one another.

As a first-generation college graduate, I was the first in my family to earn a college degree and continue on to graduate school. Being first meant navigating unfamiliar spaces without a roadmap, carrying both my own dreams and the hopes of those who came before me, and knowing that every milestone I reach makes the path a little clearer for the generations that come after me.

Being the first in my family to build a business from the ground up, taught me that consistency matters more than opinions, and persistence turns vision into reality. Being a pioneer is not about having all the answers. It is about having the courage to keep taking the next step forward long before the world understands why.

I was the first person on either side of my family to graduate from college, a meaningful achievement that opened important doors for me, but the experience that most deeply shaped who I am was becoming the first woman in my family to embrace our innate intuitive and spiritual abilities rather than suppress them. It asked me to trust what I knew within myself, honor the fullness of being human, including both our lived experience and our spiritual nature, and ultimately create a life and body of work that helps people know themselves more deeply, trust their own inner wisdom, and bring that deeper connection into the way they live and move through the world.

First to attend college. First to own a business. First to serve in the military. First to reach a financial milestone no one in my family had a map for. I did not do one of those. I did all of them. When you are the first, there is no one to call. No playbook on the kitchen counter. No mother who can tell you what it feels like to be one of the first women aboard a submarine. You figure it out by doing it wrong, adjusting, and doing it again. For a long time I carried that weight like it was proof I was strong. I know now it was also proof I was lonely. The pressure of being first is not the work. It is having no one who understands the work. Here is what I want you to know: the loneliness is not a sign you chose wrong. It is the cost of going first. And the people who come after you will never have to pay it, because you already did.

I broke the mold in my family. I was the first woman to study abroad and the first to quit a great job to build a successful business from scratch. The reason? I wanted to raise my son as a single mother and not miss a single moment of his life. Taking that leap was terrifyingly hard, even more so when I decided to leave my country, company, home, and family to start over in America with my son. Today, my business thrives, and my gentle, smart, amazing teenager is proof that I did a great job. He is my ultimate treasure.

I was the first woman in my family to break away from "just working to pay the bills" and step into a true, purpose-driven calling. Being "first" meant breaking a generational mindset. It asked me to believe I was worthy of a calling and that my voice and life experiences could guide, uplift, and influence other women toward peace and stability.