The Most Dangerous Myth About Aging
How your mindset about aging shapes your health, longevity, and quality of life.
The Most Dangerous Myth About Aging
Are Your Beliefs About Aging Holding You Back?
Where Our Beliefs About Aging Begin
What comes to mind when you think about getting older?
Do you picture slowing down, becoming forgetful, giving up activities you enjoy, or needing more help from others?
Most of us do not realize it, but we have been absorbing messages about aging our entire lives. They are woven into birthday cards, television commercials, jokes, and even conversations with well-meaning friends and family. Over time, those messages become expectations. And those expectations may have a greater impact on how we age than we realize.
Dr. Becca Levy, an epidemiologist at Yale University and author of Breaking the Age Code, has spent decades studying how our beliefs about aging affect our health. Her research has shown that people with more positive beliefs about aging tend to perform better physically and cognitively, recover more quickly from illness and disability, and even live longer than those with more negative views of aging.
In other words, the stories we tell ourselves about aging matter.
One story from Dr. Levy’s book has stayed with me for years.
She describes her grandmother as an active, independent woman who enjoyed gardening, drove herself wherever she wanted to go, and lived life fully. One day, she tripped over a stack of crates left in the aisle of a grocery store and cut her leg.
When she pointed out the hazard to an employee, he dismissed her concern by saying:
“Old people fall all the time.”
It was just one careless comment.
But from that day forward, her grandmother began to see herself differently. She questioned whether she should still be driving. She wondered if she needed help with yard work. Her confidence had changed, not because of the fall itself, but because someone had reinforced the belief that this was simply what happened to older people.
Beliefs Shape the Choices We Make
Our beliefs do not change our health overnight. They change the choices we make, and over time, those choices shape our future.
If we believe memory loss is simply part of getting older, we may stop challenging our brains by learning new things. If we believe it is normal to become weaker with age, we may avoid strength training or other physical activities that help preserve muscle and balance. If we believe poor sleep, low energy, or brain fog are simply part of aging, we may never look for the underlying causes or discover that many of those symptoms can improve.
On the other hand, when we believe our brains and bodies can continue to adapt throughout life, we are more likely to stay curious, remain physically active, seek solutions when something does not feel right, and make lifestyle choices that support long-term health.
Our expectations do not determine our future, but they do influence the direction we choose to take.
Aging or Something Else?
One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a health coach is that we often blame aging for things that may have very different causes.
Maybe you have noticed that you are more tired, your thinking is not as sharp, or it takes longer to find the right word. Maybe you are not sleeping well, your patience is shorter, or you simply do not have the energy you once had.
Are some changes a natural part of aging?
Absolutely.
But many of the symptoms we have started calling “normal aging” may actually be signals that deserve our attention.
Years of chronic stress, poor sleep, inactivity, blood sugar imbalances, social isolation, poor nutrition, and unmanaged health conditions can all affect how we think, feel, and function. They place an added burden on the brain and body, making us feel older than we truly are.
The encouraging news is that many of these factors are modifiable.
When we stop assuming, “I’m just getting older,” and start asking, “What is my body trying to tell me?” we open the door to new possibilities. Sometimes improving sleep, managing stress, building strength, nourishing the body, or increasing social connection can make a remarkable difference in how we feel.
Not every symptom can be reversed, and not every change is preventable. Growing older is a privilege, and some changes are simply part of life. But we should not assume every new symptom belongs in that category without first becoming curious about what our body may be asking for.
It’s Never Too Late
It is easy to believe that if we did not start taking care of ourselves years ago, we have missed our chance. The good news is that is not how the body works.
Our bodies continue to adapt throughout our lives. Our brains continue to learn. Our muscles respond to strength training. Our balance can improve. Our sleep can improve. We can build healthier habits at 50, 70, or even 90.
Will we ever be 25 again?
Of course not.
But that has never been the goal.
The goal is to become the healthiest, strongest, and most vibrant version of ourselves at the age we are today.
Growing older is inevitable. How we grow older is influenced by many of the choices we make along the way.
So, the next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m just getting older,” pause for a moment and ask a different question:
Is this really aging, or is it something I have the power to change?
You may be surprised by the answer.
About the Author
Sherryl Chandley-Brown, NBC-HWC, is a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach and Certified Havening Techniques® Practitioner. She helps postmenopausal women, especially those with a family history of Alzheimer’s disease, reclaim their clarity, restore deep sleep, heal their gut, and reignite their energy so they can stay sharp, strong, and confidently independent for years to come.
Learn more at www.scbhealthcoaching.com.
References
Levy, B. (2022). Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live. William Morrow.
Levy, B. R., Slade, M. D., Kunkel, S. R., & Kasl, S. V. (2002). “Longevity increased by positive self-perceptions of aging.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(2), 261–270.
Diehl, M., & Wahl, H. W. (2024). “Self-perceptions of aging: A conceptual and empirical overview.” Current Opinion in Psychology, 55, 101741.
Velaithan, V., & Tan, M. M. (2024). “The association of self-perception of aging and quality of life in older adults: A systematic review.” The Gerontologist, 64(4), gnad041.
World Health Organization. (2021). Global Report on Ageism. World Health Organization.
